Hello pretty mamas! I’m here to casually drop in mid-season and give you your much needed recap of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. Before I spill the tea on what happened this week, let me just explain my obsession with Miss Ru and her girls.
I was 11 years-old when RuPaul burst onto the MTV scene with her hit “Supermodel” and I was hooked. Given my age, RuPaul was the first drag queen I’ve ever seen. She was tall, beautiful, funny, talented…and a man. It didn’t offend me in the least, but rather I was fascinated. She looked more amazing than actual women (of course, this came back to bite me in the ass when at 20 years-old, I went to the West Hollywood Halloween parade and, being surrounded by Glamazons who had more curves than I ever dare wish, I cursed drag queens everywhere!).
RuPaul was a woman ahead of her time, and I don’t think main stream society was ready for her yet, so she faded into the background. But more than 10 years later, the Logo Channel was born (thanks Viacom!). It was the first advertiser-supported TV channel geared toward the LGBT community. I honestly never paid much attention to the channel, that is until a friend who worked there told me they had green lit a new reality show starring RuPaul about drag queens competing to be “America’s Next Drag Superstar.” He had me at reality.
The first season aired in 2009 and I don’t care how low budget the show looked, it was EVERYTHING. I was living for these queens – the fashion, the drama, the makeup, the vocabulary! The girls were hilarious (even when not meaning to be) and I wanted to be friends with all of them. I wanted one of them to be my Drag Mother (sorry Kay aka best friend). It was amazing. Although the show was about up and coming Queens, Ru was obviously the star. They idolized her and she was so nurturing and caring. One could easily tell the passion she felt toward giving unknown Queens a chance at stardom. The show was an instant hit and I can’t get enough of it. Shout-out to Amazon Instant Video for having Seasons 2-6 available for free viewing! But seriously, give me Season 1 and all will be cool.
And now here we are, six years later on Season 7. Episode 6 aired this week and let me tell you, I was a bit peeved that my fave #SnatchGame was not the main challenge. In past seasons, the fan favorite has typically landed between episodes 4-6, but that Ru, always keeping us on our toes! I hate being kept on my toes…
Anyway, there are 9 contestants left and this week’s Mini challenge is a very strange game called “Monster in your Pants.” Ru explains the rules to the Queens – the beloved Pit Crew (and friends), decked out in nothing but Justin Case underwear, hold either a card with a number or a monster in their skivvies. Each Queen is to call out a Pit Crew member and they rack up points for every number pulled. They either yell Freeze to end the game or keep going, but they risk losing all the points if a monster card is pulled.
So basically as Katya says, “I have no idea what the rules of the game are, and I don’t care what the rules are. I just wants to know when I can f**k them.”
After the game wraps, RuPaul delves out the contestants Maxi Challenge – they are to act in a behind the scenes reenactment series called #RuHollywoodStories. This week’s episode: “Whatever Happened to Merle Ginsberg?”
Pause: for those not in the know, Merle Ginsberg was a judge on Seasons 1 & 2, but was mysteriously replaced by Michelle Visage (of Seduction fame) in Season 3. I never bothered to look up why.
Unpause: Ru explains that there will be three teams of 3 and each reenactment is to showcase each side of the story – RuPaul, Merle & Michelle. Judge Ross Matthews is directing. Because Ginger Minj won the mini challenge, she gets to pick teams. She chooses teams as follows:
First up, Ginger’s team reenacts Merle’s side. To hilariously quote Katya, “Ginger is gonna be the evil villain which is perfect because she’s playing it like Ginger Minj as Danny DeVito as Tony Soprano as The Fonz as Michelle Visage.” Did you get that? Because it is spot-on. Katya actually nails Merle, who is really quite boring in my book. But poor Kennedy, girl struggles as RuPaul. It is not pretty.
Next up, Michelle’s reenactment. Violet plays Michelle and is…meh. Max plays a very awkward Merle, though she claims she’s playing her as how Michelle would see her. And lastly, Ru is played by Kandy Ho, who apparently thinks Ru has a beard, because girl was rocking that 5 o’clock shadow. Not cute and just not well done.
Last up, Ru’s side. Miss Jaidynn is tasked with playing the icon and poor thing flops. She forgets almost every line and struggles through the whole scene. Pearl is a hilarious Michelle (can we say breast plate x 10?) and Fame plays Merle. After continuously forgetting her lines, Fame asked to stop rolling so she can unload her feelings, but Ross just wanted to get through the scene. Fame questions being allowed to express her emotions. Awkwardness ensues.
Pause: Can I just say, after last week’s episode, I have a newfound love for Fame. Her speech about being raised on a farm and showing prize-winning chickens was kind of to die for. Every time I see her, I can’t help but see a cute little boy holding a chicken holding a blue ribbon (chickens have thumbs in my fantasy).
Unpause: Moving on to this week’s runway challenge! The category is Death Becomes Her…how would your drag character die? I’m already excited.
As the Queens get ready, Jaidynn opens up about how his family doesn’t know he’s gay and he doesn’t want to tell them for fear of being hated or disowned. It’s truly a heartfelt moment between all the girls, as even Violet proclaims that it’s every gay person’s fear to be hated by their own family.
On the runway, RuPaul introduces the extra special guest judges: Merle Ginsberg (duh) and Ariana Grande “(best day of her life”). Here’s what the “dead” Queens stomped the runway in:
Ginger – baby bear realness
Kennedy – thrown in fire and crystalized after a night of hookin’
Katya – shark week fantasy
Max – a jilted lover stuck in purgatory as a ghost because she committed suicide by cutting out her own heart, aka organ donor realness
Violet – waist cinched too tight
Kandy – sexy vampire aka fang banged to death
Miss Fame – the bride of the man she was having an affair with stuck a blade in her skull
Jaidynn – sent to jail and tried to escape to see her baby daddy but didn’t make it over fence
Pearl – too much plastic surgery
Ginger, Kennedy & Katya are the winning team and Katya is the challenge winner. Hooray! I really like Katya, she’s looking like the front runner of the competition and I’m excited to see what she does next.
Kandy Ho and Jaidynn land in the bottom two. The song they have to lip synch to is Ariana’s “Break Free” and the girls deliver. Kandy serves up the sex appeal while Jaidynn showcases all the club moves. Even the other Queens proclaim that it’s a close one.
But in the end, Jaidynn comes out victorious and Kandy Ho is told to “sashay away.”
All in all, I was less than impressed with this week’s episode. Like Violet, I’m a bit bored by the group acting challenges. However, it’s about to get real next week ya’ll, because #SnatchGame is on like donkey kong!
Can I get an Amen up in here?! Follow RuPaul’s Drag Race for all the extra tea you know you’re dying for.