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Man Seeking Woman Recap: Ep. 7, “Stain”

After last week’s display of poor decision making, Josh is single and depressed again. His sister stops by and invites him dancing with her and her boyfriend and though he doesn’t want to be a third wheel, he agrees. Turns out, they invited him to competitive ice dance with them, underlining what a third wheel he is. Naturally sister and boyfriend are perfect skaters, but Josh is a klutz who can barely stand on skates. A good fall puts him out of his misery, though.

At work, Josh’s boss tasks him with changing the water jug in the water cooler and that old gag where the water changer spills the water all over themselves before putting it where it belongs ensues, covering Josh with water. His coworkers treat him like a pesky ghost and the boss hasn’t stopped calling him Jeff. His temping future is precarious.

Mike is looking through Josh’s mail and finds a wedding invitation. Weddings are depressing for Josh, even for Ben and Becky, due to his painful singledom and he worries that Maggie will be there. Mike convinces him that he should go anyway, and they head out to shop for linens to wear to a nice summer wedding in Hell. Yes, it’s a destination wedding on July 25 in Hell. The wedding registry requests exclusively holy weapons but Josh is not rich enough to afford a $90 gift that will probably get him killed. Mike picks up a sweet pewter sword and they’re off to the airport.

Through the airport, on a really comfortable looking plane to the middle of desert nowhere, into a gaping cavern, across a blood pool, and across a bridge and Josh and Mike arrive at the wedding hotel. Josh complaining about the Jordan Almonds now and Mike has had enough of his griping. Josh readjusts his attitude, always one to give it the old college try, and then Maggie shows up. Her new boyfriend is terribly attractive and a lawyer and loves Jordan Almonds, so naturally Josh feels more inferior, insecure, and out of place. His anxiety is palpable.

Post-wedding everyone arrives at the reception and Josh is distracted by Maggie and her hot boyfriend. Mike encourages him to let it go, then they all discover that they’ve been seated at the same table. Josh buries himself in red wine. Mike is getting along great with the couple and after probing Josh uncomfortably about his current temp pay rate, Maggie’s boyfriend offers to bring him in as a temp at his company because his company can definitely top that rate. Joy, to work with your Big Ex’s current hunky boyfriend!

Never fear!

Just then, a demon crashes the party and Mike is having a hard time unsheathing the sword he bought. Josh is attacked and the new boyfriend saves him because he’s a hunk and of course brought a sword like the website said to, even if it was just a suggestion. The whole room applauds and gets grooving to what would probably have been “Shout” if they’d gotten the rights. On his way tot he dance floor the demon, impaled with the new boyfriend’s sword, really rubs in Josh’s inadequacies, so he asks a girl to dance in an effort to compete with Maggie and her boyfriend. He is instead left on the floor standing awkwardly by himself.

Back at table 19, Mike, Maggie and the lawyer are still vibing but Josh is drowning in wine and embarrassment. The newlywed couple stops by for a chat. They find out that Maggie and her new boyfriend have been together for six weeks, but Josh knows that he slept with Maggie five weeks ago!

Can I crawl into all five of these glasses of wine before anyone notices?

Josh: Well, I don’t want to be a dick here, but how can you be in a relationship for six weeks when you slept with me five weeks ago, hmmmmmm?!?!
Maggie: That was two months ago, you crazy.
Josh: …No, it wasn’t.
Mike: You’ve had enough wine, buddy.

In their struggle for Josh’s wine glass, he throw s his wine all over the bride’s wedding dress, earning the glares of eveyrone in attendance.

Josh wanders around Hell to get some time to think and begins speaking with a chained woman on a rock. He complains that his every day is a nightmare, and she’s like, “You don’t know from everyday torture!” Josh laments that he’s done everything in life that he was supposed to and never colored outside the lines, but he’s still miserable. He invites the woman on a rock and her torturer to come with him back to the wedding and is determined to apologize to Ben and Becky. The impaled demon is still rubbing salt in Josh’s wounds and warns him not to go in because he’ll only make things worse. “What are you, some kind of masochist?!”

Everyone has forggtten about Josh’s blunders because, as Mike so succinctly put it, “Dude, it’s not about you! It’s a wedding!” The happy couple calls for a conga line and ends up behind Josh.

Josh: Becky, I just really wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. I was out of line.
Becky: It’s okay, Jeff!

The Question: Why didn’t they take advantage of the stares and let some daggers fly from people’s eyes at Josh when he spilled the wine? #missedopportunities

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