Posted on Leave a comment

RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: 7×9

As per tradition, the episode opens with the girls heading back to the workroom following Jaidynn’s elimination. Poor Queen, no one even mentions her. Instead they throw shade at Trixie being brought back on to the show. All the girls’ eyes squint in disapproval as poor Trixie looks around the room with her giant, overly glittered bug eyes in confusion. Cue opening credits.

The Library is OPEN!
The Library is OPEN!

The following day, RuPaul enters the workroom and announces, “In the Great Tradition of Paris is Burning, Bring out your Library Cards!” The girls squeal in delight because that phrase means it’s the Reading is Fundamental (mini) challenge! Basically the girls take turns reading, or throwing shade, at each other and the funniest girl wins. This challenge is a personal favorite of mine and really should be a week-long extravaganza with brackets and all that other sports betting stuff minus sports.

Although the gals are a bit lackluster (following tradition with this season), most did alright, except for poor Miss Fame who falls so hard on her face, I’m pretty sure Pit Crew members are still scraping false eyelashes off the ground. Trixie Mattel wins the challenge, but not gonna lie, I actually enjoy Pearl’s reads a bit more. You be the judge:

Trixie on Ginger Minj: “Did you ever save Carol Anne from the poltergeist in the TV?”

Pearl to Kennedy Davenport:  “Your eye is on the prize and your other eye is on the crown”


For this week’s Maxi Challenge, the girls are paying homage to John Waters & Divine by screen testing for parts in Ru-sicals (aka musicals) based on John Waters most iconic movie scenes. #JohnWaters4ever

As Katya exclaims: “John Waters has a filthy, twisted, delinquent sense of humor. He’s my hero.”

The girls have to break up into 3 teams:

  • Pearl, Fame, Violet Chachki – “Poo” based on Pink Flamingos
  • Katya, Kennedy – “Cha Cha Heels” based on Female Trouble
  • Ginger Minj, Trixie – “Eggs” based on Pink Flamingos

And here’s how it all goes down in a nutshell:

Cha Cha Heels

Kennedy plays Dawn Davenport (Divine) and Katya her mother. I swear, Katya can turn a one-liner into a Broadway show, she has that much presence. She takes a basic role and makes the mother bigger and funnier than life. Kennedy does a pretty good job in the Dawn role – she can carry a tune and uses good physicality to amp up the comedy. But (and this is thanks to editing), she almost ruins the scene by hesitating before toppling the Christmas tree over onto Katya. Thanks to the ability to have more than one take, the tree is toppled and Katya goes down! Funny FTW.


Ginger plays the Edith Massey character to a T, or so I’m going to assume because I have admittedly never seen Pink Flamingos in its entirety. Shame on me. What I do know is Ginger is an awesome combo of creepy weird and adorable and it works perfectly. Trixie plays Divine’s character and is okay, but mostly overshadowed by the larger-than-life Ginger. Sorry Trixie, but at least your wackadoodle make-up was on point for the scene!


“Poo” is truly the best way to describe this train wreck of a scene. It’s no secret that Pearl, Fame and Violet are no funny Queens, but when a stuffed dog outshines your performance, you know you’ve got problems. This is one of the most iconic scenes in John Waters’ cinematic history (I might be a wee dramatic on this one, but I’m sticking by it!) and these three Queens simply flop. Pearl plays “Good Divine,” and she is at full Benadryl-induced capacity. On the other side of the spectrum is Fame, who plays “Bad Divine.” She’s so over the top, and in her own head that not even Michelle Visage’s boobs can penetrate the terrible character she’s created for herself. And then there’s Violet playing “Middle Divine,” who apparently assumed that haphazardly placed padding would do the trick. It doesn’t.

This week’s main stage category is Ugliest Dress Ever. I actually love the idea of the girls dressing down for the runway. It makes all of us common folk feel normal. In the workroom, there’s a strange underlying tension thing going on between Fame & Pearl. I personally hope it’s sexual. Hey, a girl can dream. Some of the girls discuss the hardship of being a professional female impersonator because blahblahblah…Fame & Pearl action now!

Anyway, tonight’s guest judges are:

John Waters – No surprise here. Also, this is not John Waters’ official Twitter, but this is funnier because it’s his mustache’s Twitter. Way better IMO.

Demi Lovato – Thanks for providing the lip sync song girl!

The girls strut down the runway in their ugliest garments. Katya and Ginger rule this category with Katya in a pee meets poo-style yellow dress with brown trim and Ginger in some lime green amazeballs frock. Oddly enough, Violet turns it out by serving us some literal clown realness, but what makes her appearance is her decision to strut down the runway as if she’s wearing couture.

On the other side of the coin, Fame and Pearl opt for “pretty-ugly,” emphasis on the pretty. Pearl admits she wants the judges to think she looks cute, thus negating the entire challenge she’s tasked with. Fame wears what looks like a giant Hershey’s Kiss wrapper, so in her eyes it’s ugly, but John just tells her she needs “ugly lessons.”

During critiques, Ru shakes it up by asking the girls which Queen should go home and why. No surprise, all the girls except for Fame and Violet choose Fame. Violet votes for Trixie and in the ultimate shade-off, Fame calls out Pearl because she feels she’s “too cool for Season 7.” Fame tries to defend herself by telling Pearl directly that she’s previously said this to her, but Pearl claims that’s BS. Thus enter more tension.

Ru announces Ginger as the winner of the main challenge and in my opinion, it’s a well-deserved win.

Fame and Pearl end up in the bottom two, and no shocker, have to lip sync to Demi’s “Really Don’t Care.” The two are so boring and lackluster. When two Queens are asked to lip sync for their lives, I EXPECT to see some passion and/or cool s**t. In Fame’s defense (yes I’m going to defend her), she’s working with a shapeless tent of a dress and any dance movements goes unnoticed. Meanwhile, Pearl does some hair flips. The only highlight of this lip sync is when they both flip each other off in unison during a part of the song. So there was that.

In the end, Pearl gets to stay and Fame is asked to Sashay Away. Look, Fame is not the sharpest tool in the box, but I’m going to miss that chicken clucking goofy weirdo Queen. Pour one out hunties.

It's only fair to share...Share on Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Share on Tumblr
Pin on Pinterest
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.