So the Castor base was in Mexico! Helena hustles up some money so she and Sarah can eat, drink, and be merry at a cantina, but Sarah worries where their ticket back home is. Indiana Siobhan shows up instead of her proxy and Helena wants to rip her limb from limb but Sarah intervenes. Helena promises Siobhan that she’ll kill her at the first opportune moment, and the cantina’s proprietor invites Sarah to go have a shower in her room to let Helena and Siobhan talk things out.
Alison goes over her election talking points as Donnie assists her in “self-monitoring” to keep Dyad at bay. She talks through the next steps in the Hendrix town domination plot: turn in signatures, candidates mixer, get mom to turn over ownership of Bubbles, and Donnie meets Jason with $30,000 to bring to Mr. Pouzihno for their new cache of pills. On the way over, Alison frets over her mother, who seems to be one of many people who gets under Alison’s skin. Inside Bubbles, Connie criticizes both Alison and Donnie immediately so Alison steers the conversation back to business and gives Connie the ownership contract to sign. Connie says she must read it over because lawyers make so many mistakes (and she’s qualified to notice them in such a contract), so Alison turns to leave and is slapped in the face by a Marci Coates endorsement poster on the wall. Instead of confronting her mother, though, Alison leaves for the candidates mixer.
Cosima and Shay canoodle at Shay’s apartment when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Delphine looking for Cosima. I don’t think anyone taught her about boundaries. Delphine pushes her way into the apartment and Shay leaves her and Cosima alone to talk. While Cosima rips into Delphine for stalking her, Shay turns on the shower in the bathroom and eavesdrops as Cosima and Delphine get to the reason Delphine’s there in the first place. Delphine says Cosima’s levels of the misfolded protein are worrying and leaves a specimen cup for a urine sample. With Delphine gone, Cosima calls Scott. She asks him to cover for her at work, and even though she’s agreed to submit a urine sample, Scott wants to talk about the “Rachel might know the code” thing. Cosima tells him to just cover for her, and she’ll deal with that later.
Alison unpacks election materials with Donnie at the high school as Jason shows up for their meet. He’s concerned that they haven’t acquired Bubbles yet, but Alison promises it’ll be theirs by tonight. Stopping short of peeing on Alison’s leg to mark his territory, Donnie kisses her before climbing into Jason’s truck.
Inside the high school, Alison hobnobs as she guides her materials to her booth and Felix is her event planner and campaign manager, natch. Alison gets a text from Cosima asking for her pee which she is willing to provide so long as Cosima doesn’t think she’s a urine courier. Marci strolls over to spit some venom toward Alison and Felix and Felix vows to dismantle her. Then Alison gets a call from Connie, who alarms Felix by saying she’s having a heart attack. Alison doesn’t take this too seriously and tells Felix that her mother does this all the time and she’s going to go check on her. She tasks Felix with turning in her signatures to Sarah Stubbs and Felix reminds her to return within the hour.
Jason tells Donnie that Mr. Pouzihno, aka Pouchy, will be the only supplier he’ll ever need and admonishes him not to use dorky words like “copacetic” during the meet. As Jason’s thinking he should have brought Alison, Donnie tells him that they won’t have a problem as long as Jason isn’t thinking of moving in on his family. They bury the little hatchet and go inside Ming Auto. Donnie impresses Pouchy’s niece, Louisa, with his Portuguese and just as they make the hand off, Louisa finds Alison’s election signatures in the envelope instead of money. Donnie stutters through an apology and offers to go retrieve the correct envelope, but Pouchy sends Jason to get it while Donnie waits with him.
Back in the cantina, Siobhan tries in vain to apologize to Helena, who only wants to fight. Siobhan asks how Helena plans to care for her child, and Helena is all, “I have a boyfriend named Jesse and we’re going to raise them. Now let’s take this outside.” Siobhan refuses so Helena begins to hit her until Siobhan hits back. She immediately regrets it and embraces Helena, telling her that she’s family now.
Alison arrives at Bubbles and Connie is feeling much better. But then she tells Alison that she can’t sell her the store. At the high school, Felix panics as they call for the candidates to pose for photos and texts Alison. Connie doesn’t want to turn her store over to “Mr. Chubbs” (Donnie’s actual given surname) and her underachieving daughter and this lights a fire under Alison. She vows to win the election and rushes back to the high school. Cosima arrives at the high school for Alison’s pee and is grabbed up for Alison’s photo op. Felix intercepts her and does one of his famous makeovers so Cosima can try on her Alison shoes. Sarah isn’t the only clone with acting chops!
Scott sends Cosima a “Where are you?” text and Delphine arrives at the lab with Rachel for her protein testing. Rachel notices one of her paintings and Scott shows her the copy of Dr. Moreau, so she asks if Scott can teach her a board game he had been playing so they can have time together without Delphine.
Like a true campaign manager, Felix guides Cosima as Alison (who can’t see anything without her glasses) to the photo area – just as the real Alison shows back up at the high school. Then Jason arrives to fill Alison in on the accidental signatures/money switcheroo and they scope out the right envelope sitting on the table in front of Sarah Stubbs. Alison tells Jason to wait outside while she switches the envelopes and sends Felix a 911 text – and then Connie shows up! This is getting complicated.
Connie says she has something very important to tell Alison, so they go to an empty classroom to talk. Connie tells Alison that she didn’t think Alison’s father was good enough and reveals that she had their in vitro clinic switch his DNA for someone else’s who was “better stock.” Stunned, Alison tells Connie to stay put and runs into Jason in the hallway. She engages him to stall her mom, and upstairs, the photo op is over and Cosima wants her Alison pee so Felix arranges for them to meet later in the bathroom.
Scott begins to outline the rules to Agricola but she’s like, “I die. I don’t seriously want to play this game.” But Scott is like, “How do you expect to maintain our cover if we don’t actually play?”
Felix catches up with Alison and she lets slip about the $30,000 she’s trying to get back. She hesitates to tell Felix what’s going on, who threatens to quit, so she tells him everything: she and Donnie are drug dealers now and unless she can get Pouchy the money in that envelope, Donnie’s in trouble. Felix recognizes the name as the same guy who had Vic’s finger cut off and Alison is a little more worried.
At Pouchy’s, Donnie tries to smooth things over but nobody likes his chatter. Under the threat of the same paper cutter that took Vic’s finger, Donnie swears that they’ll get the money. Louisa leaves to get the money herself, adding that if she doesn’t have it in half an hour Donnie loses his nose.
Felix distracts Sarah Stubbs as Alison tries to avoid Marci and stealthily switch her envelope. Marci sidles up behind her, asking if she’s committing voter fraud and generally trying to rattle Alison before being called away for sound check.
Jason walks the halls with Connie and they discuss Bubbles and Donnie. He charms Connie by telling her that Alison is a lot like her and does a good job convincing Connie that Alison will “wear the pants” in the business so Connie will have nothing to worry about.
Alison gets a call from a distressed and sweating Donnie who says Pouchy now wants her to meet his niece in the parking lot now. She tries to hand the cash over to Louisa, but Louisa’s adamant that Alison join her in the car.
Meanwhile, Marci Coates is trashing Alison in her speech, so Felix rushes to Cosima for another acting job. He gives Cosima Alison’s talking points and tells her to memorize them, but of course she can’t see clearly without her glasses so he tells her to improvise.
Louisa counts the money as Alison waits impatiently. Alison says she doesn’t have time to for her to count it all, so spitefully, Louisa starts over. Sarah Stubbs calls Alison for her speech and Cosima as Alison heads to the stage, just as Pouchy’s goon scoots their paper cutter closer to Donnie’s nose. In the nick of time, Pouchy gets a call from Louisa and they release Donnie.
Cosima as Alison wings it and causes lots of concerned whispering in the audience among her increasing coughs. Luckily, the real Alison and Felix are standing just off stage, so Cosima heads back to the restroom and Alison resumes the speech. Jason catches up to Cosima as Alison and tells her that her talked Connie into the deal, then acts very much the creep and steals a kiss that he says he’s “owed.” Henotices something off, though, as Cosima as Alison says she has to pee and scurries to the restroom. Alison stumbles through her speech and eventually lands on “family” as her campaign’s agenda.
Sarah emerges freshly washed and finds a beat up Siobhan. She tells Sarah that Helena is outside walking off her anger and that they’re going to be a family. Simultaneously, Alison goes on to liken her whole community to family, making Marci seem like a heartless wretch who wants to kick their family out of the district. Sarah tells Siobhan about Paul’s death and her dream about Beth, and Siobhan tells Sarah about how she’s looking after Gracie now. Alison begins to appeal to the audience with her platform of creative solutions over exclusion, and promises to be the mother hen who keeps the chicks together, earning a big round of applause (and a little scowl from Marci).
In the bathroom, Cosima is Cosima again and tells Alison that Jason kissed her. She’s waiting for Alison to pee but, hearing Cosima’s continued cough, Alison refuses and asks what’s really going on. Cosima deflects but Alison insists that they need Dyad when it comes to their health and Cosima agrees to let Delphine test her urine. Connie marches into the bathroom and tells Alison how proud she is of her speech and gives Alison the signed ownership contract for Bubbles. Connie adds that she’s not concerned about Alison because she’s confident that she’ll cut Donnie loose like a sack of rotten potatoes when the time is right just like she did, adding that Jason might still be waiting for her, and Alison is about to have a moment. She beckons Cosima and reveals to Connie that they’re clones. Cosima makes a hasty exit and Connie rationalizes that Alison and Cosima must be half sisters and that she was duped by the in vitro clinic. Alison lets her have that lie.
At Shay’s, Cosima has a bath as Shay pours her some wine. Shay thinks Cosima has something to tell her. At the same time, Rachel wants to discuss the code back at Dyad. She says the book contains her and her father’s secret language, but Scott’s like, “He didn’t leave it for you, though, did he?” Cosima confesses to Shay that she has a serious health issue as Scott shows Rachel pages from the book and gives her a pencil to get decodin’. And Cosima lies about the specifics of her disease, just as Shay notices that Cosima is bleeding from her vagina and comforts her. Rachel begins to connect the dots of the code, but she tells Scott that she’ll only talk about it with – you guessed it – Sarah.
The Questions: Can the Leda/Castor disease be transmitted via non-heterosexual sex? Should Shay be worried? Will Gracie be happy to see her former roomie Helena again? How will Marci Coates try to undercut Alison next time? And – this is the big one – what will the Dr. Moreau code reveal?