
After what seemed like an eternity of a summer without Once Upon a Time, the first half of Season 5 has blown by! And while I haven’t been this season’s biggest fan, I still remain committed to seeing my friends in Storybrooke through, no matter how ridiculous their adventures may be.
We had a double episode this week, so let’s just get right to it! Here are some things we learned in the first episode, “Birth.” A recap of the second episode of the evening, “BAERS!” “The Bear King” can be found here. (No, seriously, every other word in that episode was “bear.”)
Things we learned in this week’s episode:





And Emma and she tells him it’s all for him.






Hook comes to Gold’s for advice, and Belle is on point.


Hook learns Emma has stolen some squid ink.

Gold says Emma has the face of regret.

Emma is told that she can’t light Prometheus until she’s ready to give up the Darkness.


Henry gives Emma some motivation to give up the Darkness by channeling a fanfic I wrote about how he and Hook have been conspiring to buy Emma a house.
Motivated by the promise of real estate, Emma confronts Arthur and Merlin in the forest where her parents, Hook, and Regina are being held hostage.

Zelena seems stupidly susceptible to Emma’s party tricks.

Emma ties Zelena to a tree, then gets into it with Merlin.




Back in Storybrooke, Zelena has massive gas labor pains, and Regina and Robin arrive to find Zelena pulling a Bella Cullen.

Out in the middle of town, Hook throws himself from the highest parapet to force Emma to appear, then forgives her for whatever she’s trying to atone for.
He tells Emma his life history via his trophy-rings-turned-reminders of people he’s killed. He declares his undying-until-the-next-betrayal love for her.

Emma brings Killin back to her house for some Netflix and Chill Youtube and spooning Call of Duty and Chestbumps revelations and poison lipstick.


Dr. Whale is going through a mid wife life crisis.

Belle and Mary Margaret bust into Zelena’s room to warn Regina that Emma needs the cries of a newborn to complete her spell.

Back in Camelot, Merlin feels really awkward about trying to kill everyone.


Hook manages to slip out of his shackles.
And then Hook slap Arthur so hard he got blurry for a minute.


Everyone returns to Granny’s and Emma tries to get the Prometheus flame to spark. Regina tries to get Emma to let her guard down by gently and lovingly using the Dagger to force her to confront her fears.

Mary Margaret’s enduring optimism has no chill.

In Storybrooke, Zelena’s baby is coming, ready or not.






Shoving all the dark magic into Zelena and then cutting her down with Excalibur is the simplest way the Dark One can think of to fix what’s wrong.
In yet ANOTHER flashback…


Outside of Emma’s house, a discussion Regina and Mary Margaret should have had weeks ago is happening.


Not having many options, Hook agrees to remove Zelena’s power-sucking bracelet so they can magic themselves out of Fort Nutzy-Kookoo.



Zelena and Hook escape the basement, but Hook stays behind to search for the squid ink to use against Emma to make her tell him the truth about her plan.



Hook splashes Emma with the squid ink and begs her to tell him what she’s up to. But before they get anywhere, Zelena comes in and —


Zelena asks a not-dead Hook if he’d like to see what Emma’s been hiding all this time.


Back in Camelot, Emma is set to reunite Excalibur and the Dagger.
But when she does, Hook keels over.
Merlin doesn’t bother to tell Emma the wound Killian received by Excalibur earlier will kill him once Excalibur is made whole. Because… Why would that even happen?
But apparently she can reunite the blades to also save him?

So she magics him out of the diner to do the dirty work.

Out in a field of Meadow Mist(™) Roses, Killian sports a dollar store Halloween make up kit gash on the side of his neck. Hook begs Emma to let him die rather let the Darkness save him.

Emma does not listen.


At least Arthur is ok.

So… there are two Dark Ones?

How do you not know the Darkness is in you? Even if you lose your memory, how do you not feel it?


PHEW! What a ride! I didn’t understand half of it, and I took notes! But there you have it, the big reveal about what Emma’s motives have been.