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First Two Minutes of ‘Once Upon a Time’: Season 5 Episode 1 Released at D23’s Snow White & Evil Queen Panel


So, I don’t wanna brag, but my BFF David and his amazing wife, Carolyn, went to D23 this weekend, and they attended the Once Upon a Time panel. I know you wish you were as lucky as me to have such cool friends, but try not to be too jealous. I’m going to share their exciting reports with you, and maybe, juuust maybe, it will get us yearning Oncers though another week of waiting and wanting for Season 5.

Jeffrey Epstein of D23 moderated the magical panel, welcoming series creators Edward Kitsis and Adam Hororwitz to the stage.

Here is a rundown of some things we learned from the Kitsis/Horowitz interview: 

Disney/Image Group LA
  • Henry regrets snapping his quill at the end of Season 4
  • We’ll see lots of Merida and Camelot early!
  • Iconography from Belle will be introduced, eg. the infamous enchanted wilting rose in a bell jar
Courtesy of Disney
  • There will be a big fight between Zelena and Regina
  • Zelena is “the Hannibal Lector if the show” and will “live up to her wicked name”
  • Emma is still the Savior, so being the Dark One will manifest itself differently for her that Rumple
  • The Dagger is kind of like a twisted magnifying glass that emphasizes the fears of the Dark One, so the Dark Swan’s experiences will be different from her predecessors’

The creator-writers were extremely coy when asked to elaborate on the promo photo of the Dark Swan standing in the foreground while Rumpelstiltskin looks on appraisingly behind her, saying “once fans watch the premiere they will definitely understand.” #vagueitup

(ABC/Jack Rowand)

The hundredth episode is coming up, so the Kitsis and Horowitz played an infuriating game of “yes, no, maybe” where the host threw out several names of previous characters and asked if fans would see them again on screen. Of course the gents answered “maybe” to all of them!

Mulan, Aurora, Rapunzel, Red Ridinghood, Ariel ,Baelfire, Ursula, and Cora were all thrown out and confirmed with hearty maybes. 

Fans were also treated to a viewing of an a bonus feature on the DVD set to release August 18. There will be a blooper reel which includes lots of line flubs, missed marks, crazy faces, giggle fits, and prop malfunctions!

After this hilarious break, Ginnifer Goodwin who plays Snow White/Mary Margaret and Lana Parrilla who portrays Regina/the Evil Queen joined the stage.  After that there was no end to the revelations!

  • Parrilla says that Regina and Snow’s connection moment was when Mary Margaret told Regina about the secret they were keeping from Emma; Regina and Mary Margaret realized that was what the relationship between them should have always been (Not gonna lie, fellow Oncers, I teared up over that one for real)
  • One of Parrilla’s favorite scenes from the series is when Regina takes Mary Margaret’s heart out to show Snow it has blackness in it
  • Parrilla’s favorite line is “I shall destroy your happiness… if it’s the last thing I do!” from the wedding in the pilot; it was the only line she spoke in the auditions, and it sold Kitsis and Horowitz on her as the Evil Queen
  • Snow got to get dark in the finale, and Goodwin really liked being Evil Snow because it was the polar opposite of the real Snow White
  • Goodwin admits she has a “laughing problem” that takes up a lot of filming time on set
  • Emma will teach Mary Margaret about what it means to be be shades of dark, and Goodwin says Emma will make the perfect teacher
  • Snow will feel like a failure as a mother because the very thing she and Charming had been trying to prevent before Emma was even born has finally happened
  • In the Season 4 finale, Emma saves Regina by taking on the Darkness; Regina is going to feel responsible and kind of annoyed about it because now “she has to save Emma” back; Regina hates owing people, but recognizes that no one else has ever sacrificed themselves for her in her whole life
  • Everyone wants to save Emma, but everyone will have different opinions and motivations regarding how. Hook obviously has his reasons! And his motives seem the most practical! 

  • Camelot will be visited and the majority of the core characters will be there, along with “some friends of Snow” who don’t get to go on adventures, which fans take to mean the Dwarves 
  • Camelot is timeline concurrent with The Land Without Magic and the Enchanted Forest, with a past, present, and future all its own
  • Merida is the first Pixar character to be brought in, and her introduction will be as impressive and memorable as Snow and Charming’s meeting, or Regina’s crashing the Charming’s wedding
ABC/Jack Rowand
  • Kitsis and Horowitz assure us that Merida will definitely interact with a lot of characters

Then Jeffery opened the floor to questions for the panel and a guy cosplaying Jango Fett asked Goodwin who her favorite character on OUaT is. She replied Rumpelstiltskin, which made Jango a little sad SINCE IT WAS JOSH DALLAS IN COSTUME. Dallas had not been billed as appearing on the panel, so his addition to the stage was extremely exciting for fans!

Disney/Image Group LA

After Dallas’ addition, we learned:

  • Green screen mishaps abound on set!
  • On the set of the Jolly Roger in Season 3, the cast was hauling rope and helping with sails but had zero idea what they were actually supposed to do
  • Sometimes in physical fight scenes, the cast feels like they are awkward and unconvincing, but when they watch the finished scenes, they are pleasantly surprised that they made it look so intense
  • Charming and Arthur are going to have “a full on bromance” in Camelot
  • Charming went from a shepherd, to a prince, to a husband, to a father, and he has a huge heart, but he wonders if he can still be the prince his people needs, and if he can still have the adventures and quests of his glory days
  • Goodwin says the set is very fertile! Many OUaT cast members have become parents either through new births or children by marriage. When asked if that’s changed their relationships with their on-screen families, Goodwin said that she perceives love differently and more deeply. Parrilla is a real step-mother now of two boys who “feel like her own,” and she had to learn quickly to balance life and work since getting married. When she works with Jared S. Gilmore, who plays her adopted son Henry, she sometimes thinks of her youngest, Matthew.
  • Goodwin is a charter D23 member and says this event “isn’t like work, it’s like coming home.”

Jeffery then asked if the castmembers are Disney fans and rapid-fired a series of questions at the panel, wanting to know their favorite Disney things:

  • Dallas’s favorite Disney movie is Toy Story
  • Parrilla’s favorite Disney song is The Little Mermaid’s ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls,’ whose title she sang menacingly
  • Goodwin’s favorite Disney song is ‘Baby Mine’ from Dumbo

Epstein then asked them what their favorite Disney merchandise is. It was a good time to mention that both Snow White and the Evil Queen both have collector’s dolls being released this week. Goodwin and Parrilla were available for signing the limited edition dolls available for purchase at the Expo.

Courtesy of Disney
  • Dallas’ favorite Disney merch is a black Mickey Mouse t-shirt that he wears often
  • Parrilla’s favorite Disney item is a vintage Evil Queen figurine that her sister gave her

Epstein asked them about their favorite rides:

  • Parrilla quickly answered “Tower of Terror!”
  • Dallas somewhat predictably chose “Indiana Jones!”
  • Goodwin surprised and delighted many by proclaiming “Haunted Mansion!”

Lastly, The cast and creators hinted that Season 5’s overarching themes will be:

  • “Things aren’t always what they appear to be” 
  • “Love is a very dangerous weapon”

And then they revealed the one thing all Oncers were waiting for — A sneak peak at the first few minutes of the opening scene of Season 5, Episode 1!  Enjoy it here, then tell us what you think about it in the comments below!


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‘Behind the Magic’ of ‘Once Upon a Time’ at D23

This weekend Disney held its annual D23 Expo for fans where they unveiled future projects, big changes, new merchandise, and panels with celebrity interviews!

The Once Upon a Time panel, An Evening with Snow White & the Evil Queen, opened with a special behind the scenes feature. Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas hosted the Behind the Magic tour of the Once Upon a Time set, showcasing Storybrooke and its environs!

Here is a recap of their quirky and rather adorable tour through the sets and lots that house their television home.

  • Goodwin introduces us to the lot where their main streets are laid out. This includes Granny’s diner where Josh Dallas is found cooking behind the counter
  • Fun fact: Dallas wanted to work as a cashier when he was little because he thought they got to keep all the money
  • In the Mayor’s office, the cast chairs are usually set up in the foyer; Mary Margaret’s song bird painting still hangs in the elegant but austere black and white office
  • Outside Goodwin loses Dallas again, but she finds Eduardo Castro, the head costume designer who points her in the possible direction of her husband
  • Down another hall we find a live set, the Blanchard loft– where we find Dallas asleep in their bed where they have been known to make … tacos *achem*
  • Mary Margaret has a collection of clocks and pictures of herself And Emma decorating her loft; the rarely seen bathroom is shown to ooh and aahs of the crowd
  • Dallas spots Jennifer Morrison, clad in her trademark red leather jacket, as she does her best Bigfoot-running-off-camera impression; Lana Parrilla wanders in munching on a pastry as Dallas whispers frantically, “It’s Lana, it’s Lana! Don’t look her in the eyes!” Parrilla turns to the camera and treats us with a look reminiscent of Mara daring the riders on Indiana Jones to make eye contact
  • Dallas leads us out to the back lot where he has once again lost Goodwin; at Stage 6 we find the outside of Mr. Gold’s pawn shop; inside we hear cackling from the back room, and we find Goodwin maniacally fiddling with the Dark One’s dagger
  • While Goodwin waves the Dagger around dangerously, Dallas tries to point out the more interesting props while avoiding the pointy end; Goodwin absconds casually with the Dagger
  • Dallas attempts to follow Goodwin and looks for her at Kraft Services; upon spotting her, he reminds her he will always find her; she offers him a piece of cheese…. skewered on the end of the Dagger

Thus concludes our Behind the Magic tour, written and hosted by Goodwin and Dallas! If you’d like to see the whole thing in glorious HD, look for in included in the Once Upon a Time DVD box set available August 18.

Did you attend D23? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Surviving the Summer Break for ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fans – Graphic Novel Review – ‘Out of the Past’

 Kalinda Vazquez and Corinna Bechko
ART BY: Pascal Campion, Betsy Peterschmidt, Vanesa Del Rey, and Janet Lee
RELEASE DATE: April 14, 2015

With just 48 days to go (from time of this publishing) to the Season 5 premiere of Once Upon a Time on September 27, I’m champing at the bit while trying to amuse myself with OUaT related activities. I don’t know how you’re faring, but I feel that if we were all on a raft right now, I’d imagine you as a big hot dog and you’d see me as a giant hamburger.

I’m actually getting antsy. Like, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, huffing loudly as I wait for my computer to boot up, grinding my teeth watching my tea heat in the microwave antsy. As I’ve explained before, I’m deeply emotionally invested in OUaT. It’s not just about romantic relationships either. I need to know more about the characters’ history and motivations. I need to know more about how magic works. I need to meet new characters and see new realms. I need ten minutes alone in Gold’s shop, darn it! I don’t even want to steal anything– I just wanna see what surprises and secrets my non-HD TV is missing!

Well, I can’t have any of those things, so this week I settled for something that was new-to-me to tide me over another seven days. Once Upon a Time: Out of the Past was published by Marvel in April 2015. But I’ve been obsessively writing fanfic busy doing important grown up things, so I haven’t made time to read it before now. But I’m actually glad I waited, as I really needed to digest this last season and appreciate where the main characters from this graphic novel started and where they ended up.

Unlike its predecessor Shadow of the Queen, this volume is comprised of four stories. It focuses on events prior to the series start for Hook, Rumpelstiltskin and Belle, the Evil Queen, and Jefferson. Hook’s story reunites him with his brother, Liam, long-thought dead. In Rumple and Belle’s story, we find out that Belle’s devotion to keeping her promise to Rumple isn’t just about pleasing him but being true to her word. In Regina’s story we see yet another painful motivator fueling her quest to destroy Snow White. And in Jefferson’s story we learn that the Hatter wasn’t always so mad.

Out of the Past is co-authored by Kalinda Vazquez and Corinna Bechko, and illustrated by four artists. Each story has its own unique style, but all remain true to the feel of the series we love. Hook’s story, Dead in the Water, is illustrated by Pascal Campion, and it’s a gorgeous homage, intentional or not, to Mary Blair’s days at Disney.

Rumbelle’s story, “Truth and Daggers”, is some of most gorgeous watercolor work I’ve ever seen. I confess, I can’t say with certainty whether or not Betsy Peterschmidt did the entire chapter by hand, but if she did, then I want to lie prostrate at her feet and kiss those fingertips… if she’d let me.


Vanesa Del Rey and Esther Sanz’s work in Regina’s story “Ghosts” has a classic feel with a modern edge, perfectly befitting a story like Once Upon a Time.

Lastly, the art of “Tea Party in March” by Janet K. Lee is easily my least favorite offering.


While the storytelling and layout are nice, the style is just shy of bad fanart that one might find attached to mediocre fanfics. And let it be known that I have produced my share of both mediocre fanfics and fanart, so I think I know what I’m talking about. But just because I didn’t like the style doesn’t mean it wasn’t appropriate for the story. Campion’s art was rough and eerie like the seas the Jolly Roger sailed, while Peterschmidt’s watercolors were soft and dreamy and warm, like the light that Belle brought into Rumple’s Dark Castle. Del Rey and Sanz’s work was dark and gritty, like Regina’s sadness and vengeance. All their art was befitting their main characters and their story, and Lee’s work regarding Jefferson is no exception.

I think that if you’re missing something original while you wait for Season 5 to commence, then Out of the Past is an excellent tide over. The art is (mostly) gorgeous, and the stories are excellent additions which are true to the characters’ mythos. Both paper and electronic copies include bonus material like character sketches.

All comics come with a price, though, and in my opinion, the $17.99 or less you’ll shell out for this book is well worth it.

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Surviving the Summer Break for ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fans – Eating Our Feelings Looking at Past Roles

We’re getting closer to the Season 5 premiere of Once Upon a Time but we’re still a month and a half away! I feel like we’ve been looking forward for most of our summer journey together as Oncers, desperate for tastes here and there of things to come. This week we’re going to go back in time with the help of the Internet Movie Database to see what some of our beloved stars were doing before they wound up in the Enchanted Forest. Let it be known! Thar be SPOILERS ahead!

Ginnifer Goodwin – Snow White

Most Snow White role: Margene Heffman, third sister-wife and entrepreneur on HBO’s polygamous drama Big Love from 2006-2011.
I’m not saying Snow White was practicing polyandry when she lived with the Dwarves, but Margene and Snow do have a lot in common. They are bright, spirited, loving mother-types to many, and both have a closet full of skeletons no one saw coming.

Least Snow White role: Maya in Comedy Central’s first original movie Porn ‘n Chicken in 2002. I couldn’t find a clip of her as Maya, so I’m just basing my assumption off the fact that what I did find searching for “Porn ‘n Chicken” didn’t really say “motherly fairy tale princess” to me. And, while we can’t stop you from doing it, we don’t want to tell our readers to Google “porn and chicken,” so here’s a clip of Goodwin on Seth Myers talking about how her son is Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones.

Videogame roll: Roll from Mega Man. Though not a robot that we know of, she’s sweet, protective, and clever. She’s also good with a broom!


Jennifer Morrison – Emma Swan

Most motherly role: As Winona Kirk, in 2009’s Star Trek, Morrison gave birth to yet another little boy who was destined for more than his humble beginnings, who grew up without a proper father, and who went on to strange new lands to defeat creepy villains.

Least motherly role: Zoey Pierson from How I Met Your Mother.

Not only does she not become Ted’s future wife or mother to his children, but she’s likened to Cinderella’s evil step-mother when it’s revealed that her step-daughter hates her.

Bakery roll: Cinnamon roll. The Charming family quirk of liking cinnamon on their hot chocolate is endearing, and Emma has proven she’s very layered. It’s worth getting past her hard outer layers to reach her soft and warm heart.


Lana Parrilla – Regina

Most regal role: Trina Decker from CBS’s Swingtown.

Though an airline stewardess, Trina lived a very affluent life with lots of time for extracurricular activities.

Least regal role:  Janet Grafton from several 2004 episodes of NYPD Blue.  Nothing says blue collar like patrolling a beat in your home burrough. Throw in a failed marriage and this show has Parrilla in her realist role.

Sushi roll: The “Sexy Roll.” Good or evil, fancy or down to earth, Parrilla is always alluring. And it’s not just her physical assets that make her so. Parrilla’s acting chops have only gotten more honed, making her versatile and in regal command of her stage.


Josh Dallas – Prince Charming

Most mighty and heroic role: Fandral, Thor’s friend and brother in arms from 2011’s Thor is one-third of the Warriors Three and is as princely and charming as Dallas’s OUaT counterpart. Sadly many of Dallas’s scenes in Thor were deleted and he was unable to reprise his role in Thor: The Dark World because of scheduling conflicts filming OUaT.

Least mighty or heroic role: Node #2 in a 2008 episode of Doctor Who called “The Silence in the Library.”

Dallas played the face of Mark Chambers, a man who donated his face to the library to be a pleasing visual representation most likely to appear pleasing to the user, in this case Donna Noble. Skip to about the 10 minute mark to facetime with Dallas.

Lunch roll: The hero roll. From lunchtime staple to party platter necessity, the hero roll is loved by all. Bonus, sometimes the nicer ones come with a little decorative sword!


Robert Carlyle – Rumpelstiltskin

Highest grossing role: Portraying Gaz in 1997’s The Full Monty, this was Carlyle’s, and the UK’s, highest grossing film to date, raking in $45,950,122 after a budget of only $3,500,000. Please enjoy this clip of Rumpelstiltskin embarrassing Baelfire.

Lowest grossing role: Funny enough, Carlyle also starred in a film titled Once Upon a Time in the Midlands about a petty thief who tries to get his babymama back after a decade. It had a budget of $3,041,025 but only made about $172,564. That’s right, you did the math in your head correctly. That’s about 5%. This may or may not have been a student film, I’m not sure.  See if you can sit through the trailer longer than I could.

Totally not gross roll: Scottish sausage roll. I really don’t feel I should have to explain this one. Have you had one of these? Make them and eat them with no apologies to your heart, waistline, or doctor.


Colin O’Donoghue – Killian Jones

Best dressed role: Duke Philip of Bavaria from 2009’s The Tudors is arguably the most opulently dressed character O’Donoghue’s played. It’s a far cry from his pirate garb, which, while practical, is undeniably the uniform of a rogue and scoundrel. Watch his doomed romance with Mary Tudor, as played by OUaT’s Sarah Bolger, here.

Least dressed role: Lead gent in Christina Perri’s music video for The Words, O’Donoghue doesn’t just appear shirtless, but also takes a pensive bath before bed.

It’s crucial to the plot, I tell you! Fun fact, Perri dedicated The Words to Hook and Emma’s romance, making her the ultimate fanvid creator.

Protip Roll: Rolling your shirts to fit more of them in your luggage.

“Not that Colin O’Donoghue needs more shirts.”

the majority of the fangirl community

Giancarlo Esposito – Sidney Glass

Giancarlo has the distinguished honor of having what I think is undeniably the most international Wikipedia introduction ever:

Giancarlo Giuseppe Alessandro Esposito (born April 26, 1958) is a Danish-born American actor, director, and producer of African-Italian descent.

Most notable role: Gus Fring, Walter White’s boss and haunted sociopath from Breaking Bad, 2009-2011. Here he is imparting his wisdom, “a man provides.”

Surprising role: Mickey, the camp counselor at Camp Echo Rock in Season 14 of Sesame Street.

Check out his scenes here, and especially enjoy the one where Big Bird thinks he’s getting mugged by the future meth kingpin of the Southwest.

Edible roll: A chocolate Danish. I won’t lie; I made myself laugh at that one.
All this talk about sushi and danish have left me hungry, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch Season 4 again and eat my feelings.

What are some former roles from OUaT stars that you think are interesting? Tell us in the comments below!


Streiber, Art. BIG LOVE Season 2: Ginnifer Goodwin. Digital image. N.p., 15 Aug. 2007. Web. 2 August 2015.
CBS. How I Met Your Mother. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.

CBS. Swingtown. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
BBC. Doctor Who: Josh Dallas. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
Fox Searchlight. Robert Carlyle OBE. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
Perri, Christina. “The Words.” Head or Heart. Atlantic Records, 2014. Music Video.
PBS. GiancarloEspositoBigBirdRusty. Digital image. N.p. 4 September, 2014. Web. 2 August 2015. 
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Surviving the Summer Break for ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fans –7 Songs for 7 Ships


I really can’t explain my psychosis using only human words. My level of obsession and emotional dependency on my fandoms is off the charts most days, and it works its way into every little corner of my life. I make fandom-themed meals. I casual cosplay daily. I’ve made major life decisions because I’m confident that so-and-so fictional-character-I-admire would approve. And for as long as I can remember I’ve been able to compile a soundtrack in my head to accompany whatever fictional ship, or relationship, I’m currently jonesing on.

It has become a kind of therapy during this long summer as we await the September 27 return of Once Upon a Time for me to find meaning in everything. So as I drive my tiny tornado of a toddler back and forth to play group and the grocery store, my mind is blissfully allowed to wander along with the DJ’s playlist. What I’ve set before you today is but a tiny taste, an amusebouche if you will, of the audio buffet I’ve laid out in my brain. I pick at it every few minutes, and thus my fandom belly grows ever fat-full. But #YOLO, amirite? Besides, imaginary bikini season isn’t for another year.

I hope this small repast leaves you sated until next week and tides you over as we get closer to the fall premiere.  Make sure you let us know in the comments what songs make you think of your favorite characters and ships!

Song: Cheerleader – OMI
Ship: Outlaw Queen – Robin Hood/Regina
Lyrics that make it perfect:

When I need motivation
My one solution is my queen
‘Cause she stays strong


Right out of the gate we get a reference to a strong queen. Yeah, it seems pretty obvious, but I’m more interested in the “motivation” and “solution” part. To me that implies Robin gets lots of support from Regina, and together they’ll find an answer to their problems. We saw evidence of their united front against Zelena at the end of Season 4, and previously we saw that Regina encouraged Robin to do the right thing and stick with Marian before all the cray cray started. And Regina’s not just strong: she STAYS strong.

This is also a great, positive song that makes me less stressed out about all the soap opera drama they’ve had to endure lately. And while it’s a given that Robin is part of Regina’s happy ending….

Regina is also part of Robin’s. And him recognizing that is key to their success.

Treat yo’ self with the original, unremixed version here.


Song: What Kind of Man – Florence + the Machine
Ship: Rumbelle – Rumple and Belle
Lyrics that make it perfect: *pfft* How about literally every word in this song? Like, literally every single word. I haven’t explicated a poem since I was in high school, but I’d be very happy to do so for this song right now. Ok, fine, I’ll narrow it down to three parts.

You were on the other side
Like always, you could never make your mind

Rumple has always set himself apart by virtue of being the Dark One. He tries to play house with Belle, tries to have this human life, but he ALWAYS chooses the darkness.

And with one kiss
You inspired a fire of devotion
That lasted for twenty years

Okay, so maybe it was 28 years, but whatever, you get the point. You have to admit, “devotion” is definitely a word that one could use to describe Belle’s love for Rumple.

What kind of man loves like this?
What kind of man?

What is Rumple? Is he a man? Is he the Dark One? What kind of man beats someone with their cane in a dark alley for the amusement of his hope-to-be girlfriend?

What kind of man flays a robber alive in his dungeon? What kind of man lies and controls the woman he says he loves and makes her an accomplice to his schemes? Maybe he isn’t really a man anymore after all.

Listen to the Saturday Night Live version here!


Song: The Perfect Storm – Brad Paisley
Ship: Captain Swan – Hook/Emma
Lyrics that make it perfect:

She’s so complicated that’s the way God made her
Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane

In my opinion this is another song where every line is simply dead on for this pairing. But I think these two lines sum it up nicely. Killian recognizes that Emma is not the definition of “perfect.” But she is the definition of “perfect for him.” He accepts what a whirlwind she is, and he sees the very best in her.

I never meant to fall like this
But she don’t just rain, she pours
That girl right there’s the perfect storm


Killian was taken with Emma from the day he met her. He’s wrapped up in her and all that she is. He loves her passion, her courage, her toughness. But he loves her kindness, her gentleness, and her weaknesses just as much. This is going to be especially important in season 5 when Emma’s dark side comes out to play!

Check out this fan video that CaptainSwanHook made just for me!


Song: Honey, I’m Good – Andy Grammar
Pairing: Every guy who’s with someone, with a little bit of Ruby thrown in
Lyrics that make it perfect:

It’s been a long night here, and a long night there
And these long long legs are damn near everywhere


After a long day of fighting Wraiths and Flying Monkeys, the gents settle down at the diner bar for some shots and beers, served up by Ruby. Ok, this one is more of a somewhat non-canon gigglefest. It’s no secret that Ruby, whether intentional or not, catches the eye of many a man in Storybrooke. I feel that every man in town who is true to his woman has probably looked at Ruby at least once, sighed heavily, and squared his jaw in courageous determination and said to himself “nah.”


I have a running fanvid in my head of David, Killian, Robin, and even Grumpy (yeah, yeah, I know) having tempting interactions with Ruby and firmly resolving to return to their true loves. Hey, no Ruby shaming there. In the immortal words of Little Richard, the girl can’t help it.

Here’s the original video. Every time I watch it, someone starts cutting onions around me.


Song: Someone Like You – Adele (with a few pronoun changes)
Pairing: WarriorPrincess SleepingWarrior – Mulan/Aurora (C’mon, wouldn’t have Warrior Princess been WAY better? Why am I not in charge of naming ships? *hits Colin O’Donoghue over the head with champagne* MINE!!)
Lyrics that make it perfect:

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.


Nope. Nope. Nope. Goodnight, party’s over. *clutches heart*

Also this part:

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

Mulan’s love for Aurora was forged in the fires of battle. You don’t melt a love like that down easily. Here. I dare you to listen to this song and look at this picture and not cry.



Song: Blank Space – Taylor Swift
Pairing: AuthElla – Cruella/Isaac
Lyrics that make it perfect:

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin

But also:

Got a long list of ex-lovers
They’ll tell you I’m insane

But mostly:

Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream


This song is all about writing a story to fit ones wants and desires, and Isaac the Author was famous for that! Couple that with a genuinely psychotic, sadistic Cruella, and you’ve got yourself the kind of doomed-to-fail romance that is a Taylor Swift break up song.

The similarities between Tay Tay and Cru Cru in this music video are actually a little creepy, to be honest.


Song: Am I Wrong – Nico & Vinz
Pairing: Grumpy and Nova
Lyrics that make it perfect:

Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?


And very much this:

Walk to walk and don’t look back, always do what you decide
Don’t let them control your life, that’s just how I feel


This song is all about saying “I don’t have to be what you tell me to be.” For better or worse, that’s a sentiment most of us can relate to, and one that Grumpy made his anthem for a while until the Blue Fairy pretty much hit his nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Does anyone have a fly swatter?

Check out the video in all it’s awesomeness here.

What songs make you think of your favorite OUaT characters or ships? Do you think you can do better than the songs I picked this week? Let us know in the comments!

ABC. “Images,” July 27, 2015. Television.

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Surviving the Summer Break for ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fans – 5 Fan Theories About Season 5

We’re still riding the wave of new Once Upon a Time season 5 info that came out of San Diego Comic-Con last week, and message boards and blogs are still abuzz with speculation and rumors.

So instead of enjoying a new, shiny, much anticipated episode of Once Upon a Time (which is a long 69 days away as of today’s publishing), we’ve complied some interesting (and likely accurate) fan theories from around the internet, which we’ve presented in no particular order except perhaps based on our own amusement. Be sure to add your own thoughts on these and other theories you support down in the comments!

5. Rumpelstiltskin is Prince Adam

There are several versions of this theory, but all of them pretty much agree that Mr. Gold’s first name in Storybrooke will eventually be revealed to be Adam, more specifically Prince Adam, the human version of Beast from Beauty and the Beast. Fans believe that the red-headed Seer (who Rumple was seen guarding during the Ogre Wars early on in the series) is the equivalent of the old woman from Beauty and the Beast who came to Prince Adam’s castle peddling flowers and prophecy, eventually cursing him. Fans further believe that Rumple’s own blackened heart is a representation of the enchanted rose whose falling petals bring Prince Adam/Beast closer to his demise.

“I need to have Belle clean out from behind the refrigerator more often.”

Why this works: This is totally plausible because Rumple is obviously the Beast from the titular Beauty and the Beast, and all the other little details support that: there’s a giant castle full of enchanted items, the trade of Maurice’s life (and those in his kingdom) for Belle’s companionship, the defeat of Gaston, and of course this moment:

Belle, that chip is like a whole inch wide.

While Rumpelstiltskin and Prince Adam are traditionally two totally different people, there’s really no reason why they couldn’t be the same one. Rumple is about two hundred years old – that’s more than enough time for him to fit in two lives.

“I’m over 200 years old, but I still got moves.”

What this means for Season 5: Mr. Gold having a first name that sounds both strong and kind would represent his transformation from beast into prince. His heart, which much like the rose that lost its petals, is now restored. And while the Beast may not forget his monstrous past, it would be clear that these changes would put him on a new path. Restoring Gold’s humanity may very well be the thing that’s needed to solidify his role in helping to save Emma from the Darkness.

4. Killian is actually King Arthur’s son

Why it works: Hook is as old as Rumpelstiltskin, so his timeline stretches far back enough to include something as old as Arthurian legend. Plus, Killian knows his way around a royal ball, including the parts you can’t fake, like waltzing.

“So, pfft, this DJ, amirite?”

He’s also an excellent swordsman, and what better teacher than the man who defended Britain from the invasion of the Saxons?

When Killian was a lieutenant in the royal navy, he and his brother spoke of an enemy their King wished to defeat, which is possibly the aforementioned invading Saxons. They’d also been sent on a mission to find an item in Neverland that was rumored to cure any affliction, which is similiar to the legend of the Holy Grail. Killian’s authority as Captain was accepted unanimously after his brother’s death.

“We set sail for the dark side! They have cookies!”

Could this be because he was the respected son of a king? Becoming a traitor to the King would have solidified his new lifestyle as pirate. Perhaps the story that Hook told Baelfire about his father becoming a fugitive and abandoning him was actually a half truth that was based off of Killian’s father betraying him with his lies and desire for a weapon that would destroy their enemies in a dishonorable manner.

What it means for Season 5: Killian would have some obvious ties to Merlin, and they might be more painful and complex than we can imagine. Merlin is said to have influenced Arthur greatly as a child, tutored him, and set him on his path to greatness. This would effectively make Merlin a kind of grandfather to Killian. As we know OUaT father-son-grandfather relationships don’t usually come with the warm fuzzy glow of a Norman Rockwell painting.

And this was it ending quietly.

Moreover it would make his quest to protect Emma’s heart even more personal if the man he had to find was the man who raised his own father. Hook has lived as a pirate for so long, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about his former life before Neverland. If all those emotions get dredged up, it has the potential to solidify him as a hero, or tempt him back to the ways of a villain (Dark Emma may be very attractive to Killian).

You’re evil… I’m evil… Let’s date!

3. Merida and Mulan were an item, or at least very close

Why it works: Merida. Bows and arrows. Robin Hood. Merry Men. Mulan. Boom, cannon. But to put a finer point on it, Mulan left Aurora heartbroken and she joined up with Robin.

That awkward moment when your tears are as swift as a coursing river.

It’s reasonable to believe that in the time between their leaving Rumple’s castle when Neal followed the Shadow to Neverland and Robin meeting up with the Storybrooke refugees later in the season after Pan’s curse that the Merry Men and Merida crossed paths. Merida is a strong woman who defied her parent’s and society’s limitations and expectations of her, finding the courage inside of her to make a change for the better, and in turn helped save her people from a terrifying enemy. I’m pretty sure she and Mulan would at the very least have something to talk about around the campfire.

Mischievous, doesn’t listen, prone to trusting witches, and magic nearly killed her whole family. Yeah, she’ll fit right in.

What it means for Season 5: Regardless of whether or not we see Merida in Storybrooke, having her appear in an Enchanted Forest backstory episode about what happened to Mulan after she left Aurora to take Robin up on his offer would be spectacular. And if Mulan and Merida have romantic leanings, perhaps it would give Mulan hope that there are more princesses in the sea than just the lovely-but-attached Aurora.

2. The Blue Fairy will stop masquerading as Lawful Neutral and show her true colors as Lawful Evil now that the Savior has fulfilled her destiny and gone Dark

Why it works: Reul Ghorm is notorious for maintaining order and discipline and for touting the strict importance of following the traditional rules of fairyhood. But she’s also shown that she can and will choose to lie when it seems that a larger agenda needs to be furthered, as evidenced very early when she lied to Snow and Charming as to how many people the magical wardrobe would be able to hold in order to allow Marco to send Pinocchio along to the Land Without Magic.

Yeah, you’d know all about secrets, wouldn’t you, you sketchy moth…

What it means for Season 5: Magic of the Blue Fairy’s caliber can make things super complicated if it serves to hinder and not help the quest to save Emma from the Darkness. It would serve as a fantastic challenge for Regina and a (we assume) magicless Mr. Gold to defeat Blue in order to advance towards Merlin. #bossfight

You’re on your own, Regina.

1. Merlin is Lily’s father

There is an entire dark corner of the Internet devoted to this kind of fanfic.

Why it works: At the end of Season 4 Lily wanted to stay in town to see if she could find her father. Emma said she’d help, but now we need to find Merlin in order to save Emma. A new character, who happens to also be traditionally of demonic origins, who likes dragons, is coming into the mix right when Lily starts looking for the guy who would have impregnated Maleficent in dragon form? Yeah, that’s pretty solid.


What it means for Season 5: Lily will play a much bigger part in Emma’s life as she and Maleficent help the Charmings, Hook, and Regina find the Sorcerer Merlin. Lily won’t just be driven by her revenge (like she was when she searched to find Malificent), but rather by her love for Emma and the desire to reunite her family. Emma has turned dark, so now it’s Lily’s turn to turn light. Hopefully any involvement on Lily’s part won’t see her sacrificing her life for Emma.

Do you think any of these theories hold water? What are your theories for Season 5? Let us know in the comments!

ABC. “Images,” June 20, 2015. Television.

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The #DarkSwan Leads ‘Once Upon a Time’ Panel at Comic-Con

My editor had to gently remind me more than once this weekend that we were reporting on all of Comic-Con, and not just on Once Upon a Time. But the latter is all that’s been on my mind.

I’m a well-rounded and cultured geek, but my heart really belongs to Once and it yearns for any scrap of news about it. This weekend did not disappoint.

While I did not have the personal honor of standing in line for four hours, snacking on hastily made-in-my-motel-room peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and readjusting my cosplay headpiece, I did get to delve into the up-to-the-minute news as it splashed across the Twittersphere: The Dark Swan is coming!

Property of ABC, via Twitter

Let’s not beat around the beanstalk. Here’s the video, courtesy of ABC:

Ok, I have a lot of questions about this trailer:

  • Why is Emma in Rumple’s old cell? How did she get back to the Enchanted Forest? Has time been rewritten?
  • Who caught her and how?
  • Why did Emma crush the guard’s heart when she could have used it to control him and either release her or do her bidding? Is Emma there of her own accord?
  • Why does everyone always get an evil makeover when they go bad? How does magic know to put you in black leather and slick your hair back? Where does one get lipstick in a dungeon?
  • Are… are those Rihanna’s rings?

Fan enthusiasm is running high, and cosplay is already happening!

Screenshot 2015-07-11 at 3.46.01 PM

And while there’s a ton of love for the 5th season of Once, there is also trepidation:

Colin O’Donoghue, who plays Captain Hook, had this to add at the cast’s panel earlier today:

“He found love with Emma, so he’s desperately trying to hold onto that, be the better man and keep her heart safe. But he has been a villain and his girlfriend’s nasty now… in a good way. He really struggled with staying on the right path, so it’ll be interesting to see where he goes now.”

To which series creator Edward Kitsis added:

Screenshot 2015-07-11 at 3.42.55 PM

Of course there are the other loose ends season 4 left us, like Rumple’s fate, Zelena and Robin’s unborn baby, and Henry’s status as the Author. According to the panel, we do know that Rumple may no longer be the Dark One, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still a tricky deal maker. You don’t do a job for nearly 300 years and just forget how its done because you got fired.

Hmm… Maybe he might need a refresher course…

*nervous fidgeting* Sorry, I just can’t stop thinking about what this all will mean for Emma and how it will affect her whole life going forward. We’ve seen just how twisted Once villains can become if left too long in the dark side. Will Emma be able to overcome ripping out an innocent man’s heart? And what else has she done since we last saw her on the streets of Storybrooke?

No matter what new tidbits and revelations come, we do know one thing for sure:

Girl, I feel ya!

You can follow all the #OUAT Twitter action by using #DarkSwan and, of course, #OnceUponATime.

Did you see the panel for yourself?  What do you think of the Dark Swan’s arrival? And where are Emm’s eyebrows??

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Secret Warriors Coming to ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’

We all pretty much expected that season three of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. would continue the hunt for Jiaying and the other fugitive inhumans, but now thanks to Variety we know that some new key players from the comics will be joining S.H.I.E.L.D.’s cause: the Secret Warriors.

The Secret Warriors are a team of agents with superhuman powers that former S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury assembled. They were originally introduced in the Secret Invasion tie-in issues of Mighty Avengers, but the Secret Warriors gained the most notoriety as part of a comic series of the same name.

Included among the Warriors is Daisy “Quake” Johnson, better known by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. fans as Skye (Chloe Bennet).

These individuals have remained Agents-of-Shield-Skyemostly hidden due to the Caterpillar initiative (which Coulson briefly discussed with Skye last season).

And speaking of Agent Coulson, he will most likely begin scouring the world this season for inhumans to recruit to his dwindling team. But with these extraordinary powers at large, Agent Coulson surely won’t be the only one tracking down new inhumans.

The Secret Warriors should definitely add some excitement to the upcoming season, which premiers September 29th on ABC!

What are your theories on where the story will go? Let us know in the comments below!

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Surviving the Summer Break for Once Upon a Time Fans – SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODY

C’mon, we all knew it had to come to this eventually. It’s been six weeks since the season 4 finale of Once Upon a Time, and that’s six weeks of wondering things like “Where’s Emma?” and “Is Rumple okay?” and “MERLIN???” Look, I’ve tried to keep my mind and yours busy. I’ve tried crafts and fanfic and cosplay and genealogy. I’ve even tried being a parent and working! *gasp shock horror* But none of that is working.

There’s really only one thing left to do, and that’s to begin drinking profusely until the season 5 premiere on September 27, which is practically October, ABC!

This is not an unfounded plan. For a place full of heroes, there’s plenty of alcohol in Storybrooke. It would seem that after one gets ripped out of the Enchanted Forest and lands in Maine, every man is given a flask and every woman is given a bottle of scotch. It would also appear that there’s a sketchy bar in town, but people still prefer to do shots at Granny’s. Whether breaking bad news or celebrating a good win, there is liquor aplenty in town. And let’s be honest, if you were realm-jumping like it was catching the bus to work, you’d probably need a belt once in a while too.

To be fair, liquor is treated with seriousness just as often as it is tempered with humor in OUaT. For every gin joke at Cruella’s expense, we have an example of the consequences of over imbibing, like Leroy landing in the drunk tank or Will Scarlet and Hook nursing hangovers.

The key is not to drink alone, I think. There’s strength in numbers, and if you surround yourself with good friends, drinking your sorrows away can be therapeutic and cathartic. We’ve all been there, right?

Things start out innocently enough. You and your friends get together for a well deserved night out.

There’s the friend that sticks with one drink all night because he’s the oldest and he wants to make it home alive and mixed drinks might kill him.

That other friend who’s like, “We came together, we leave together!!!”

And when she starts going on like that, all you can think is

I mean, you love her, but c’mon.

There’s the friend who’s trying really hard to avoid their ex but runs into them evvvverrrrywhere…

And when it happens it kinda throws a wet blanket over the whole night.

But it’s always fun to take the mickey out of that friend in the group who ALWAYS gets carded, even though they have a mortgage and two kids. What is that about?

There’s the one friend who barely drinks because they’re taking selfies all night.
You’ve got the friend who gets a little over-the-top on a full moon Saturday night.

And you’ve got to run interference between her and her next drink because

That wouldn’t be so bad, but sometimes you’ve got a friend who SAYS they’re chill, but picks a fight with anyone who brushes against them on a crowded dance floor, and you have to be on point guard all night.


Say you’re sorry. I got white Russian spilled on my silk blouse when I rescued you last time.

You can always tell when the night’s getting on. People start talking with their hands.

Or deciding around midnight they’re gonna skive off work Monday no matter WHAT.

Unavoidably some guy comes up and offers to buy you a drink.
But drinks are $9 and rent is due.

Don’t ask, but DO make sure you watch the bartender make it.

Oh, and watch out for aggressive pick up lines.

Just when you think everything’s settled down, someone’s like, JELL-O SHOTS GUYS!!!!


Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Jell-O shots are no joke.

So instead you order some white wine or a Manhattan to try and class yourself up a bit.

BUT THEN your one friend walks in late to the party like

Usually she’s the friend who says

But it’s not daytime now.

Eventually you drink the rest of your friends under the table and you guys are the last ones still partying.

But then it starts to go downhill. She starts talking about the one that got away…

You gotta take her phone away before she starts calling people she shouldn’t.

And then you end up on opposite sides of the bathroom stall door trying to convince her she’s still “got it.”
And the rest of your friends are out in the bar waiting for you.

But pretty soon the party dissolves and you guys leave holding each other up.

And after a bout of awkward good-night-kiss talk


It’s like FINALLY


It’s all good to go out and have some fun, especially when you’re trying to drown your sorrows over the summer break. Just remember to ease up if the pineapples start hitting on you.

Are you handling the summer break any better than we are?

What’s been your favorite diversion so far?

Do you have any OUaT-themed drink suggestions?

ABC. “Images,” June 22, 2015. Television.
Individual image credits provided in the alt text.

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How to Survive the Summer Break: A Guide for Once Upon a Time Fans – An Ode to Fanfic

When I find myself in times of Summer,
writing fanfic sets me free
Typing words of drabble, let it be
Sitting in my room of darkness,
the cursor blinks in front of me
Slashing all the pairings, let it be

Ugh, are you kidding me? It’s only June?

I’ve been spending any free time I have (mostly the hours between 10pm and 4am) delving back into the world of writing fanfiction. I’ve got a nice little Hook/Emma story simmering over in Google Docs. Besides watching Once Upon a Time on Netflix and hulu+, writing fanfic has been the only thing that’s kept me half sane in regards to surviving the long days between now and Season 5.

All those things I said about sticking together in last week’s entry? Yeah, I’m a total hypocrite who can’t take her own advice. What did I say? I said that we’ve got to distract ourselves, we’ve got to stay positive and busy if we wanted to make it to the fall. Did I do that?

Regina knows what’s up. She’s let herself get carried away by sadness, let herself become embittered against a world that just refuses to stop spinning in the midst of my her pain. Regina and me, we’re like sisters.

Eh, on second thought, nevermind.

The thing is, this is the price of magic. It always has been for me. And if you’re the type who happily, recklessly, willingly, gives into the abandon of fandom, then you understand that the yearning and the angst is totally worth the magical squees and sparkles. Except…
It does. It really does. And that price can be rough. These characters, to whom we grow attached, who touch us emotionally and intellectually, who make us laugh and give us hope, or who thoroughly infuriate us to the point of throwing things at the screen or launching a book across the room, become part of our lives. For some of us, they are characters who come into our lives for an hour at a time, or a dozen pages here and there, and they affect us for the length of the interaction. And for some others, like me, they are people who stick with us for decades, if not our whole lives. No matter how deeply each of us individually relates to these fictional folks, one thing is for sure: they have a power over us. This is why hiatuses, summer breaks, cancellations, even seasons or books that don’t meet our expectations, affect us so.

Something that has always helped me get through the rough times has been fanfiction, or fanfic, the act (some say the art) of writing out one’s own versions of already established stories. To the uninitiated it can be a confusing concept. “What’s the point of writing something you can’t sell?” “Why write stories about something that’s over?” “Who reads this stuff?” “Don’t you have anything better to do that write stories that belong to someone else?” These are all frustrating things that some people say about those who write fanfic for fun, entertainment, and (my personal favorite) therapy. But they’re understandable reactions. Fanfic is what happens when passion can’t be contained. And, naturally, not everyone has the same amount of passion for the same things.!!%3F!


There are two kinds of people.

Fanfic is great because it’s based on an already established template of characters, settings, and history, and provides us with plenty of directions to go forward. Or we can scrap all that, go AU (alternate universe) or OOC (out of character) and write whatever we want. We get to just jump in and play! No messy pages and pages of character notes, no dithering over history, no having to start from scratch to get to the good parts. It’s all of the payoff without having to lay the groundwork.

Fanfic can also range from a few lines to novel-length works spanning hundreds of chapters. Stories can be influenced by cannon events (facts established by the original show or book), by some song the author heard that morning on the drive to work, by other stories, and by real life events. But really, fanfic can go in any direction, take the characters anywhere, and fulfill the wishes and wants of fans.

Of course, sometimes those wishes and wants are… Well, let’s just say they’re not always in line with the mainstream. Fanfic lives primarily on the internet, and, like most things that reside here, it can range anywhere from rudimentary and bland to complex and *sigh* somewhat disturbing.
But fanfic means freedom, and that freedom is different for everyone. While one end of the spectrum may not be for everyone, the fair majority of fanfic readers and writers have very open minds. Fanfic, whether simple, silly, serious, or scary, coexists on the web and defies judgement. It explores new possibilities, analyzes working theories, dissects relationships, and helps us relive the moments that affect us the most.

And on those days when it feels like the next season or the next book is hundreds of years away, fanfic can bridge the gap between where we’ve been and where we’re going. It can help us bide the time, which, when it comes to survival, can make the difference between giving up and soldiering on.

Fanfic is cheaper than therapy, and you can do it anywhere. You can write it on your phone, in a notebook, on the computer, or even on a napkin. You can write on your break, take voice notes in the car, or stay up until the sunrise getting those last lines of dialogue perfected. And you can read endless stories, too. People are publishing new ideas every single day. While you might hit the occasional end to your niche interests, the characters you like rarely have an end.

But it’s important to remember that fanfic is like Lay’s potato chips: you can’t eat just one. Unless you accidentally start on a story that is absolutely against your moral fiber, you’ll probably get hooked. Just be careful if you have to work the next morning. Stronger people than you have fallen into the pit.

So in the meantime, as we burn ourselves out on watching the last four season on repeat, waiting for Once Upon a Time to return this fall, we can rest easy knowing that there are more stories out there for us to read. And when we tire of those, we can write our own!

Some fanfic confuses us.

Some fanfic freaks us out.
But all of it can remind us of what it was that made us fall in love with the original stories to begin with.
Because in the end, we all like happy endings.

I hope that if you have never read fanfic before you won’t hesitate to open up your search engine and enter your favorite show or book and add “fanfic” to the end if it. You might be insanely surprised to see what’s out there.

Hope it tides you over til the fall!

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