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Gotham Season Finale Recap: Ep. 122, “All Happy Families Are Alike”

After a tumultuous first season, the finale of Gotham is here! The episode begins with Selina and a couple of other presumably homeless teens spying a small barge coming ashore as they warm their hands by a trashcan fire. Moving closer, Selina can see that it’s Fish Mooney, dressed in black, with a few companions. Fish greets Selina and tells her, rather ominously, that soon it will be a brand new day.

Bruce listens to news of the violence on the streets while he contemplates his father’s secrets. He smashes a photo of Thomas as Alfred walks in, concerned that Bruce is wasting his time looking for secrets. They recall the evenings when Thomas would lock himself in the study and play classical music for hours and Bruce wasn’t allowed to disturb him. Bruce wonders why Thomas would need to lock the door while he was in the room and becomes convinced that his father’s secret is in there with them.

Falcone heads to the docks to buy a chicken? As he inspects one, two people ride up on a motorcycle and he notices too late that one of them has a rocket launcher that they are not at all shy about using.

Jim spies a couple of officers giving a prisoner a taste of police brutality and, though visibly disgusted, does nothing. (SINCE WHEN?) A green uniform named Griffin Katz salutes Jim fervently and Jim tells him to knock that off because he’s going to be targeted again any time now and Katz shouldn’t hitch himself to a lame horse. He goes to the ME’s office where Lee is giving Barbara a final checkup. (Is Lee the only medical doctor in Gotham who could have checked Barbara’s vitals?) Lee tells Barbara she needs trauma counseling but Barbara just wants to thank Jim for saving her life. Lee insists that Barbara get counseling and Barbara agrees only if Lee will be her counselor and Lee reluctantly agrees. (WHAT?) Then Bullock tells Jim that Falcone just got hit 20 minutes ago and is at the hospital. He adds that the powers that be at City Hall switched their support to Maroni, and Jim thinks this is a terrible idea.

In the hospital, Falcone awakes to find he’s been manacled to a gurney. Penguin and Butch arrive to bring flowers and bullets to Falcone. Falcone’s relief at Penguin’s arrival is short lived as Penguin quickly spills his end-game like a villain who thinks he’s home free. He tells Falcone that he’s been plotting this since they met and, scalpel in hand, says he’s going to be the King of Gotham. Falcone says Penguin’s going to burn in hell and Penguin’s all, “YOU FIRST!” and moves to cut his throat – just as Jim arrives and arrests Penguin and Butch for attempted murder. After cuffing them to the radiator, Jim frees Falcone, who says if he has two days at his safehouse, he can retake Gotham. Penguin insists that Maroni’s guys are about to come kill Falcone right now, and when he steps in the hall and finds it deserted, Jim knows he’s right.

He calls Bullock and tells him what’s up and asks if he’d come back him up. Bullock is reticent (surprise) and tells Jim to think about the fact that this stand really may cost him his life. Just then Tommy Bones walks in and, though surprised to find Jim there, leaves right away – but not for long. Jim goes back in to rally his troops, calling Falcone his least worst option, and Penguin calls in one of his favors: he says since Jim arrested him and Butch he’s responsible for them. Jim agrees and, stepping back out into the hall, finds Commissioner Loeb marching in with some of Maroni’s guys. He calls Loeb a disgrace and says he can’t wait to see him dead or in jail so Loeb chucks up his deuces and leaves, leaving the mobsters free to open fire on Jim.

A firefight ensues wherein everyone wastes bullets and moves down the hall and into a waiting room. Jim takes guys out sporadically as he uses pillars and desks for cover and eventually hits them all when Bullock arrives. He’s ready to get Jim and Falcone out of there but Jim breaks the news that Penguin and Butch have to come, too, resulting in Bullock’s comic disapproval.

Maroni calls Tommy while marching up to the hospital and gets no answer just as an ambulance with Jim at the wheel comes barreling down the alley. He and his guys open fire but cause negligible damage and Jim and the others get away.

Bruce and Alfred are pulling apart the library and Alfred would like to know what exactly they’re looking for. Bruce just says, “When we find it, we’ll know.”

And Jim has driven everyone over to a Falcone warehouse in which they should be safe. That is, until Selina strolls in with a rifle and Fish joins her with the rest of her newly acquired army and a new look, to everyone’s shock.

At Barbara’s apartment, she tells Lee that she feels like her life is a dream that she’ll wake up from soon and Jason will be coming for her.

Fish reunites with Butch to find him damaged. He doubts it’s her and she asks what they did to him, to which he responds, “Nothing good.” She gets a call from Maroni and tells him she has something he wants and they need to talk.

Now handcuffed, Falcone tells Jim he’s still got his knife in his sock, just in case. Selina taunts Jim as he silently asks her to help, and laughs at his predicament. Fish returns and reacquaints herself with her captives, telling them of her deal with Maroni. She need only hand over Falcone’s head to get massive territory and influence. As Butch is overwhelmed by the effects of his brainwashing, Fish promises she’ll make Penguin and Falcone die slow and painful deaths for what’s been done to him. For Jim, they’ll keep his death simple, and she’s cool with Bullock and he can go. Selina asks how she’s planning to kill them, and Fish has found a protegee.

Barbara tells Lee that Jason knew her instantly and could see right through her, but why wouldn’t he when she told him everything about herself immediately? She leads the conversation to Jim and asks Lee if Jim ever hits her out of passion. Flabbergasted, Lee says no, of course not, and confirms that she is dating Jim. She asks if that makes Barbara uncomfortable and with her now-familiar doe-eyed expression says no and hurries off to get them something to eat. (Do not eat anything this woman gives you, Lee!)

At Falcone’s warehouse, Maroni has shown up and offers praise to Fish’s resourcefulness and resilience. Penguin speaks up to Fish, saying that even though he knows he’s to die, she should keep Falcone alive because if he’s gone Maroni will try to kill her.

Penguin: Why would he need another boss in town? Another rival?
Maroni: That’s where you’re wrong, smart guy. A) She’s not a rival, because she’s not a boss. She’s an underboss.
Fish: An underboss takes orders. I don’t take orders.
Maroni: I know. Relax.
Fish: I’m relaxed.
Maroni: I don’t think you are, babes.
Fish: Please don’t call me “babes.”
Maroni: You see? Not relaxed. “Babes?” Really? It’s a term of endearment. It means I like you. I misspoke. You’re not a underboss, and you’re not a babe. You tell me what you are.
Fish: What we are, Sal, are partners.
Maroni: Whatever you want. Partners. I’m Partner #1 and you’re Partner #2, that’s the deal, right? I’m #1 and you’re…?
Fish: Number 2.
Maroni: There you go. Simple math. One, two, babes. Oops, sorry. That’s the last time, I swear. Guys, can you feel the buzz in the air? That’s victory, redemption, power! When this old man dies a new day begins. We will rule Gotham! We are building a dynasty. We will whip this town like a rented mule. Right, babes? Relax, I’m kidding you. Guys, no seriously. Don’t call her “babes.” Or “toots” or what have you. It’s a woman’s lib thing.

And Fish shoots Maroni dead in front of everyone like, “I am relaxed.” (God, I love her!!!) After a moment where everyone is stunned, they scatter and gunfire begins. Butch and Selina scatter, Bullock cuts Jim, Falcone, and Penguin free and head in different directions.

Lee presses Barbara about what actually happened to her when Jason kidnapped her. She changes the subject, asking if Jim has told Lee he loves her yet, but Lee changes it right back, asking, once again, what happened.

Jim, Bullock, and Falcone have made it outside and determine that if they can get to 7th Avenue without being spotted they can find a place to hide out and regroup. But Falcone drops a bombshell: he’s quitting. He doesn’t want to rule Gotham anymore and plans to retire down south. They see some of Fish’s people are onto them and hide in a shipping container, and are quickly found by Selina and some others.

Selina brings them back to the warehouse to Fish’s pleasure. Fish says she killed Maroni because he vexed her, but who knows? They could be looking at the new Queen of Gotham. Falcone takes this opportunity to break the news of his retirement to her and she’s like, “So, what? I’m just supposed to let you live?” Then Penguin comes back and sprays the warehouse with an automatic rifle and takes kills almost everyone there as Fish heads to the roof. When he chases after her, Jim, Bullock, and Falcone hop in the car and bolt.

Barbara describes her brainwashing to Lee and says she didn’t realize they were going to her parents’ house until they were halfway there. She says Jason tied her parents to a chair and made her tell them her childhood issues. Lee presses her on what those issues were, so Barbara’s like, “Oh, just how my mom always called me ‘piggy’ and they never nurtured my self-esteem. Kid stuff.” Lee doesn’t think this is kid stuff, and Barbara says they just never understood who she was. Barbara says when she was killing them they gaped at her like fools, and Lee clarifies that Jason killed them. But Barbara’s like, “No, I killed them. I stabbed them several times, then I slit their throats,” and grabs a kitchen knife. Lee springs out of her seat and Barbara gives chase, and when she wields the knife Lee locks herself in the bathroom.

Lee tries to make a call but gets no signal as Barbara gives us her best The Shining impersonation by hacking down the locked door. Jim, Bullock, and Falcone arrive at Barbara’s building and board the elevator, just as Barbara breaks through and unlocks the door. Lee breaks a mirror and makes herself a shiv, and when Barbara opens the door they charge at each other. Barbara has several wild slaps for Lee and they crash against furniture and grapple on the floor. Finally Lee gets the upper hand and bangs Barbara’s head into the floor a few times, knocking her out, just as Jim and the rest arrive.

And on the roof of Falcone’s warehouse, Fish lies in wait for Penguin with a pipe. She ambushes him with a few well-placed strikes but he finds his opportunity and gets some hits of his own in. They fight to the edge of the roof and as Fish tries to choke the life out of Penguin, Butch arrives with a gun. Confused by his brainwashing, Butch struggles with what to do with Fish’s and Penguin’s conflicting instructions. He shoots both of them and breaks down at having hurt Fish, who forgives him for it. Penguin hits Butch over the head and, with a final kiss off, throws Fish over the edge of the building into the choppy water below. Pleased beyond measure, Penguin climbs to stand on the edge and proclaims to all the he’s the King of Gotham.

Nygma stands distracted in the records room and Ms. Kringle approaches him with her note from Office Domestic Violence. She’s noticed the clue he left her and he describes it as an amazing coincidence. With slight disbelief, she accepts the lie that he had nothing to do with the letter and she leaves – just in time for Nygma to begin a downward spiral monologue. He laughs hysterically and chides himself about leaving a clue because Kringle will keep digging. He tells himself to let it go, reminding himself that he has no chance with her regardless, and with flashes of memories cut with the many levels of this breakdown, we see Nygma losing his grip on reality and going mad(der).

On Barbara’s balcony, Jim and Falcone have a word. Jim tries to convince Falcone to stay, but Falcone says Gotham needs a strong lawman like Jim to grab it by the neck and shake it hard. Jim doubts his efficacy so Falcone gives him the knife he’s been carrying, saying it belonged to his father. Jim’s father and Falcone once were close and says that he was one of the most honest men he knew, but he still carried a knife.

And after searching the entire library, Alfred wants he and Bruce to throw in the towel. Bruce says his intuition is nearly always correct and Alfred’s like, “There’s none so blind as men to believe their intuitions to always be correct.” This jogs Bruce’s memory of what Lucius Fox said to him about his father being a Stoic and he searches for a book on Marcus Aurelius, a historic Stoic. In the book, he finds a small remote which Alfred discourages him to activate, saying it could be a bomb. Ignoring this, Bruce presses the button which activates classical music – and opens a secret door behind the fireplace. Bruce and Alfred peek into a rocky stairway and in the distance we hear leathery wings and squeaking.

The Questions: How will Bruce feel when he finds out about Selina’s new life of crime? How much longer will Nygma be able to work with the GCPD? Is Fish actually dead? Will Barbara end up in Arkham? What will Penguin do with his newfound power? And what implications are to be found knowing that Thomas Wayne “created” the Batcave?

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Gotham Recap: Ep. 119, “Beasts of Prey”

As she takes a look out one of the facility’s windows, Fish Mooney notices something: a helicopter. Not only that, this helicopter might be able to transport her to a nearby piece of civilization. She makes her rounds as manager, greeting transplant patients and addressing their needs, and then heads outside to take a better look at the helicopter. An alarm blares as she exits the facility and as soon as she approaches the bird, a Jeep full of armed guards pulls up. The guard wearing Indiana Jones’ hat emerges as the leader. He tells Fish that she’s not supposed to be outside, even if she is the doctor’s new assistant, and he’s the guy who catches the poor souls who try to escape (and who aren’t killed by the churning waves surrounding the island). Fish tells The Catcher she’s heard a lot about him and apologizes for being outside and he’s like, “Just don’t do it again or I’m going to be forced to kill you.”

Bruce is having a lunch date with Jim, but it’s not just a social call. Jim asks him if he is helping covering up the identity of the person who stabbed Alfred, but Bruce denies it. He seems to be compartmentalizing the woes he would normally bring to Jim or the GCPD after they failed to nab his parent’s killers, so he’s fixated on bread thickness and sandwich quality. Jim tries to convince Bruce to stay out of “whatever Alfred’s planning” to do to the person who stabbed him, but it’s clear Bruce isn’t going to be swayed but just Jim’s opinion.

Over at the GCPD headquarters, Officer Len Moore lays the flattery and charm on thick as he fills Jim in on a cold case. Grace Fairchild was stabbed to death and the detectives on the case dumped the case when they couldn’t get anywhere. Jim says he’s got a full plate but Len insists, saying that Grace’s family deserves justice. But it isn’t until Len tells Jim that when he and some of his younger cop buddies grow up they want to be just like Jim Gordon and help clean up Gotham that Jim agrees to take the case.

Jim visits Lee to pick her up for a dinner date and she asks about his new case. Jim gives her the highlights of the case: Grace had been reported missing four months before her dead body was found, the last person to hear from her was Grace’s mother, and she was supposed to be going to a bar in the South Village but there are no leads as to which one. Lee, always full of helpful information, lives in the South Village and tips Jim off to the reemergence of speakeasies in her neighborhood and implores him to catch the “monster” who killed Grace – who could have been her friend, they were so close in age! – so gruesomely.

Fish visits her old pal Kelly in the lower level of the facility, who is probably suffering an infection from the unauthorized organ harvesting he suffered. He’s (justifiably) wary of Fish, but she tells him, very confidentially, that she has a plan to escape and he’s all ears.

Back at Wayne Manor, Alfred is prepping to go look for Reggie in all of Gotham’s shooting galleries, because that’s practical. He’s looking very unsteady, using Bruce’s desk for support, and Bruce tells Alfred that he is in no condition to conduct such a search by himself. Bruce says that he will accompany Alfred and just as he begins to protest, Alfred begins to bleed again in earnest from his stab wound.

Our dear Penguin wants to buy a bar. So he’s speaking with Lydia to try to convince her to take his offer to come on as a silent partner, but Lydia’s like, “EFF OFF!” Penguin insists that his interest in her bar is totally above board (ha!) and that if she doesn’t want money, surely there’s something he can do for/offer her instead?

Lydia: My granddaughter, Antonia, is beautiful, virtuous. An angel. And she’s been seduced by a silver-tongued guitar player. Lucifer himself.
Penguin: A tragedy.
Lydia: You make her come home and I’ll consider your offer.
Penguin: Madame, she will be home for Sunday mass. You have my word.

Gabe, Penguin’s protection, thinks the bar is worthless, but Penguin knows a diamond in the rough when he sees one.

Meanwhile, Jim is trying to convince Bullock to help him investigate Grace Fairchild’s murder and Bullock is balking at the idea of working more. Bullock thinks Jim only wants to take this case to further prove that he’s a super cop, but Nygma actually has new information about the case. He’s found four speakeasies with liquor licenses in the South Village that the original detectives missed, giving Jim his only solid leads. Jim asks Nygma to try to locate a missing piece of evidence from the case, item 3A, and Nygma enthusiastically enlists to find it. After one last (weak) statement of protest, Bullock agrees to help Jim.

Fish has included five of the big guys imprisoned at the facility in her escape plan. She tells them that she’s going to need stone-cold killers, not whipped-ass victims, to help her get off the island, and plans to use a boat on the shore to take the six of them to the mainland. One of them isn’t impressed, though.

Big Guy #1: A boat? Pfft.
Fish: Do you have a better idea?
Big Guy #1: I heard a chopper land the other day. Why don’t we fly outta here?
Fish: Do any of you know how to fly a helicopter? … … I didn’t think so.

Bullock complains about all the legwork he’s having to do as he and Jim enter the last of the four uncanvassed speakeasies. This time, the bartender recognizes Grace and remembers having a conversation with her. She says Grace’s date was hot and classy, and we flash back to the evening in question. Grace and her date have drinks and she asks why the hell he’s still single. He says what he’s looking for frightens people.

Guy: It’s nothing weird.
Grace: Well, what then?
Guy: What I’m looking for is unconditional love. Unconditional, real, intense love.

Grace buys the line and goes home with him. As he hangs up their coats, we get a peek into a closet, filled with large metal handcuffs, chains, and a literal ball and chain. Grace continues to flirt, completely oblivious to the danger she’s in, and the guy is pleased she’s so willing to stay. Back at the bar, Bullock gives the bartender his card in case the guy comes back in and Jim is even more determined to solve the case.

Bruce writes down the addresses of three gun ranges as Alfred sleeps on the couch and ventures out into the city alone. He visits Polk Gun Range first – just as Penguin happens by. Bruce is buzzed in and Penguin enters another building for an interrogation. Gabe has trapped the silver-tongued guitar player with a bike lock to a large pillar, but the guitar player refuses to leave Antonia. Shooting him is a dumb idea, so Penguin, knowing that guitar players live or die by their fingers, gives Gabe some pliers and orders him to “lose” the guitar players fingers (we even get to see one of them fall off!). That’s one way to ruin someone’s livelihood!

And in the ME’s office, Lee gets a visit from Jim and Bullock just after she finished Grace Fairchild’s autopsy. She says the results were a little strange.

Lee: She was missing for over four months. Usually with this kind of abduction, there’s a lot of trauma and abuse to the body, but not this time. Other than the stab wounds to her heart and her throat, her body is mostly pristine.
Bullock: That doesn’t add up, unless… You ever consider she ran off on her own? That her going missing has nothing to do with her murder?
Lee: The findings would certainly support that.
Jim: Maybe. No. No, Fairchild had a good job. a mortgage. Hell, she called her mother the night she went missing. No, she didn’t run away, she was taken. And whoever took her kept her locked away till he was good and ready, and then he killed her. I know it.

We flash back to the morning after Grace met the guy in the speakeasy and the guy has prepared a lovely breakfast. Grace emerges from the bedroom and he offers some plans for the day, but Grace says she’s already running late for work meetings. He tells her to reschedule, which she says she can’t do, but she’d like to see him again. He at least wants her to have some breakfast, but she insists that she has to go, but he won’t let her hand go. Jason grabs her wrist and tells her that, no, she doesn’t have to go.

On Captivity Island, Fish slips into Dulmacher’s office after he leaves and her manicure is still impeccable. She looks in his desk, finds two keys labelled 024 and 050, respectively, and pockets them. Just as she’s about to leave, Dulmacher returns to find her standing in his office. She picks up a letter opener off his desk and tells him that she was looking for supplies. He rightfully predicts that she was trying to escape and pulls a gun on her. He says he’ll shoot her in the stomach if she doesn’t tell the truth, so she comes clean (so to speak).

Fish: Every night when I close my eyes I pray to God that nightmare doesn’t come. That living, breathing man, stitched together with arms and legs that weren’t his. That nightmare you created. I’ve face dangerous men, but none like you, Dollmaker.
Dulmacher: So you’d rather take your own life than end up as one of my creations?
Fish: Yes.
Dulmacher: Well, Miss Mooney, try something like this again and your nightmare will come true. I will bring you back from the dead if I have to, and make you into something the world has never seen. Was there something else?

Back in the rougher parts of Gotham, Bruce is being eyeballed by every sketchy person on the street and runs into Cat. He tells her that he’s looking for Reggie, but he couldn’t find him at any gun ranges. Cat lets him know that when Alfred said Reggie would be at a “shooting gallery” it wasn’t the literal kind and the two head off in the right direction.

Lydia has Antonia back, and she’s bawling her eyes out. She has only so much sympathy and backhands Antonia, telling her to go clean herself up. And Penguin arrives wanting to discuss terms.

And Nygma has found a photocopy of item 3A: a painting of a broken heart. Bullock is shaken up by this because he’s seen it before; this guy is a serial killer. And we flash back to Jason and Grace having dinner. She sits in handcuffs and they make strained conversation. She apologizes for the undercooked lamb, and after a taste he agrees. Grace begins to whimper as she apologizes again, which ticks Jason off. He doesn’t think he and Grace are going to work out. It’s not Grace, it’s him (NO SHIT). He blindfolds her and chains her with her arms above her head, taking a Polaroid to add to his collection (there are already a dozen photos), and he chooses a weapon to get started.

Gabe wants to know why Penguin wants Lydia’s bar so badly and, with a photo of Maroni in the background, Penguin explains that his motivation is simple, really: this is where he’s going to kill Don Maroni.

Fish absconds to the basement prison to gather the troops for the escape. She takes them to the side door she used earlier and lays out the plan.

Fish: As soon as this door opens, an alarm will go off and we will not have much time.
Clint: What about the gate?
Fish: Unlocked last night. Take these keys and get the boat started as soon as you get there. I’m coming but I need to go get Kelly. Call me sentimental, but I cannot leave him here. And you better not leave me.

The five guys run toward the boat and Fish goes back to the basement. Dulmacher cuts her off and tells her he warned her about trying to escape. The rest of the prisoners exit the cell and beat the pulp out of Dulmacher and prepare to leave with her, holding hands like kindergarteners. The group of five reach the gate and find it locked: Fish set them up as a distraction and has led the other prisoners to the chopper. Surprise of all surprises, she can fly it! Just as she lifts off The Catcher puts a well-trained bullet in her side and she fights through the pain and blood loss to keep the helicopter in the air.

Bullock fills Jim in on Jason’s serial killing MO.

Bullock: He abducts young, single, attractive women and he keeps them, sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months. Then he dumps their bodies around Gotham.
Jim: How many has he killed?
Bullock: A dozen, maybe more. Every time he kills he leaves a broken heart at the crime scene. It’s his calling card.
Jim: So who is he?
Bullock: No one knows. Thinking is, he’s educated, decent looking, rich. But that’s just a profile. Some of the guys call him the Don Juan Killer. Most call him The Ogre.
Jim: Why haven’t I heard about this guy before?
Bullock: It’s the GCPD’s dirty little secret. Only a handful of senior detectives know anything about this guy and they aren’t leaking it to the press because The Ogre retaliates against any cop who investigates him. He kills the people they love. He hasn’t been caught yet because no one’s been stupid enough to investigate.
Jim: Until I came along.
Bullock: How did you catch this again?
Jim: A fellow officer asked me to look into it.
Bullock: Who? Which one?

Good questions! In some dilapidated warehouse, Bruce and Cat find Reggie and Bruce learns about heroin “shooting galleries.” Bruce wants to know who sent Reggie to his house and, to make him talk, Cat holds his stash out the window, threatening to dump it. So Reggie spills: he says he never meant to stab Alfred, but he caught him stealing Bruce’s documents. Bruce strong arms Reggie some more, and Reggie warns Bruce that he shouldn’t deal with these people, that he should leave it to Alfred. He tells him a woman named Mathis and a man named Bunderslaw are the ones who hired him, and he dealt with Bunderslaw directly. Bunderslaw wanted to know what Bruce knew, and he was scared enough to hire Reggie to infiltrate Wayne Manor and steal evidence. Bruce tells Cat to give Reggie back his drugs, but Cat drops them out the window anyway. So Reggie claps back.

Reggie: Don’t patronize me! I may have vices, yeah, but I’m a professional. You want me to tell Bunderslaw that you’re onto him? Because he’ll come after you. And there’s nothing that you can do to stop him. You’re just silly little children. I’m gonna tell on you.

Reggie spots the drugs dropped just on the sill outside and reaches out the window for them, and Bruce spots an opportunity to commit his first murder. He decides not to, but Cat’s like, “You’re not telling on us!” and pushes Reggie out the window. Bruce takes a look outside and sees Reggie’s body on the ground below, blood pooling rapidly around his head.

And back in the locker room/cop interrogation hot spot, Bullock and Jim are hemming up Len Moore, who spills easily, tells them that he was ordered by Commissioner Loeb to convince Jim to take Grace Fairchild’s case. He said Loeb told him all the sweet things that Jim would want to hear to make him want to take the case, and he didn’t have a choice because Loeb has all of the dirt. Jim is upset that he’s been hoodwinked into this and is worried about Lee. Bullock tries to convince Jim to simply drop the investigation if he wants to protect her, but Jim can’t let a serial killer keep killing. He calls Lee and leaves an urgent message, then spots Loeb across the room and boy is he pissed.

Jim: You! You son of a bitch! You set me up!
Loeb: Detective, I don’t know what you think –
Jim: Don’t talk, listen. I tried to work with you. But now you crossed a line. You come after the one I love. From here on, we’re playing my way. No more games, no more deals. I’m going to find The Ogre and I’m going to put him behind bars. And when I’ve done that, I’m coming after you, Commissioner. You’re done.

The Questions: Will Bruce be pissed that Cat’s a killer? How exactly is Penguin planning to kill Maroni? Did Fish and her merry band of escapees make it to safety? And…will she survive? (I don’t want an answer to that last one.)

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Gotham Recap: Ep. 18, “Everyone Has a Cobblepot”

Bruce has been sitting by Alfred’s bedside making sure he doesn’t lose another beloved adult figure. Jim arrives with a timely bagel for Bruce and begins to ask about Alfred’s attack. Alfred lies and while Bruce follows his lead, Bruce wonders why they lied when Jim is called away.

Alfred: Reggie’s a mate and you don’t set coppers on your mates, do ya?
Bruce: But he almost killed you.
Alfred: I’ll sort him out.

Pretty sure you don’t stab your mates in the chest as a rule, either. Alfred tries to leave his room but Bruce puts some bass into his voice and tells Alfred to get back in bed.

Meanwhile, Fish Mooney wakes to find Dr. Dulmacher at her bedside. He’s really pleased with her control over the “facility.” She thinks that Dulmacher should make her his right hand because *cue Trina’s “The Baddest Bitch”*

Fish: I woke up hungry and alone and in less than a week I brought this place to a standstill. You’ve had me as your enemy. Wouldn’t you rather have me as your friend?
Dulmacher: Hmm. Eat something, you’ll need strength. Oh, and we gave you a new eye, but it doesn’t match the gorgeous original.

Fish New Eye
Non-hereditary heterochromia.

Fish removes the gauze covering her left eye to find an eye so blue as to be at home on a White Walker. Isn’t she doing some damage to that fresh transplant by exposing it so soon?

Arnold Flass has been exonerated and Harvey Dent and Jim are pissed. Jim is especially upset because it appears that Commissioner Loeb greased the wheels on this deal and is supporting Flass for president of the police union. Jim visits Loeb to get to the bottom of things but gets pushback instead: Loeb doesn’t feel the need to explain himself to Jim, but does show him a video of Harvey Bullock confessing to doctoring the evidence against Flass (which we know he didn’t do). I wonder what Loeb’s dirt against Bullock looks like?

Confronted by Jim, Bullock says he was just protecting his job and his freedom. “Do you honestly think you’re the only one who had orders to take a punk down to the end of the pier and put a bullet in his head? The difference is, my Cobblepot didn’t come back.” I mean, yeah, we know that. If Jim didn’t put that together after Bullock was initially so adamant that he kill Oswald, I may have been giving him too much credit. Bullock tells Jim that almost every GCPD cop has an “Oswald Cobblepot” and Commissioner Loeb is blackmailing all of them to stay in line. And so Jim’s mission becomes clear: stave off Loeb’s power source.

Edward Nygma is still in love with Ms. Kringle and uses the most roundabout way to tell her that while Flass was just released, he thinks she could do, like, so much better.

Nygma: That guy’s a gorilla, you can’t have had much in common. He’s a bad guy.
Kringle: I appreciate your concern, but I’ve realized there are far better men in the world than Arnold Flass.

That’s $1.45 for your coffee, buddy.

Jim and Dent meet at a diner to talk about stealing Commissioner Loeb’s cache of dirt on GCPD officers. In trying to find out where the cache could be hidden, Dent mentions that Loeb had a wife who died suspiciously by falling down the stairs. Dent is disappointed in Bullock’s confession but is careful not to bad mouth his too much in front of Jim. Then, knowing how tight cop partners become, it dawns on him where to start looking for the cache: Loeb’s first GCPD partner, Charley Griggs. Jim and Dent take Griggs to the GCPD locker room and put the screws to him. It doesn’t take long before he’s singing like a canary. After all, Loeb has something on him, too.

Griggs: I told you, I don’t know anything. If I did, I’d say talk to Xi Lu on Huron Street.

Dent wonders if they should bring Bullock to Xi Lu’s but Jim is against it. Harvey is suspicious.

Fish continues to work her magic on Dr. Dulmacher, convincing him of her worth. “If you wanted to kill me, you’d have done it already and you certainly wouldn’t have wasted this beautiful eye on me.” Dulmacher takes her to his office and begins to explain why he has this facility: he’s interested in the line of demarcation between oneself and another when mixing and matching body parts. When does one stop being themselves? Fish isn’t impressed and wants a management deal already, so Dulmacher shows her his latest creation: it’s the Office Manager from last week’s episode, kind of. His head has been crudely attached to several female body parts and he is horrified. And so is Fish for once. Dr. Dulmacher, AKA the Dollmaker.

Selina visits Bruce in the hospital during one of Ivy’s hospital sweeps: a few times a week Ivy sneaks in and steals food from the sickies. She hugs Bruce and he is beside himself, so naturally he spills his guts to her.

Bruce: Alfred was stabbed by an old army buddy and I think it was my fault.
Selina: What are you talking about?
Bruce: I had a meeting with the board of Wayne Enterprises to tell them I was investigating them so they sent someone to infiltrate. If I find him, I can find out who hired him.
Selina: You’re nuts. Look at Alfred right now. Do you want to end up like him?
Bruce: I don’t expect you to understand. I’ll give a shout if I need anything.

We’re law enforcement tough guys so tell us what you know!

Jim and Dent turn up in the basement of Xi Lu’s and find about a dozen men counting a large amount of money. Xi Lu plays it really cool and denies knowing Loeb at all so Dent skips directly to the threat of police and ADA interference in their obviously shady business dealings. Just then Xi Lu gets a phone call. Apparently the caller doesn’t think Jim and Dent should live, and Xi Lu gives the order to the dozen to brandish their kitchen knives and attack! Jim and Dent run out the way they came but end up trapped in the alley out back until Bullock barrels through the gates for a timely rescue.

A safe distance away, the group discovers Griggs set them up. Bullock is all, “Why didn’t you tell me? You know I love to ask hard.” Next thing you know, Jim and Bullock have picked up Griggs and Bullock has his head out the rear passenger door thiiis close to the asphalt and is asking the hard questions. Once again, Griggs folds like a paper airplane. “It was Falcone! And you two are dead men!” The detectives know they need someone with information on Falcone, which leads them to our dear Penguin. Natch.

Penguin is only too happy to assist his dear friend Jim, but is of course cognizant of his own predicament being a lieutenant of Falcone’s. Jim tells Penguin that he’ll give him a favor to bank, no questions asked, as well as five minutes with Loeb’s dirty files in exchange for his help. A really dicey agreement.

In the facility’s basement, dissent is growing because Fish hasn’t returned. Until now. One mouthy prisoner wants to know when their conditions will improve like she promised, and she orders the one guard that was left behind released. Then she snaps her fingers and the guards grab her basement right hand and another woman because they were on the “show of faith” list from above.

Mouthy Prisoner: I told you, didn’t I? She working for them now!
Fish: I warned you not everyone would live. Their sacrifice means your survival! And my promise remains the same!

Jim, Bullock, and Penguin arrive at the place where Loeb keeps 20 years of dirty secrets, but Bullock is suspicious of the location.

Penguin: What would you prefer, Detective Bullock? A sign that says “super secret blackmail horde”?

Flippers up, Penguin.

Penguin wants to wait in the car until it’s all clear, but Bullock and Jim are immediately against that friendly suggestion. Just then a man gives a knock on the car window and invites them all in for tea. Marge and Jude are very sweet and friendly, but Marge begins to ask questions about their unannounced visitors. Why weren’t they notified that the police would be coming by for an inspection? Marge steps away to grab some keys as loud thudding is heard upstairs, then comes back with a shotgun she is not afraid in the slightest to use. She and her husband unload at Jim and Bullock and they subdue the couple, leaving Penguin to stand guard. Upstairs, Jim and Bullock find a haggard looking woman who is clearly unstable. She’s Miriam Loeb, the Commissioner’s daughter.

Back at the GCPD, Nygma has finally gathered the courage to ask Ms. Kringle out for dinner, but she already has plans with her new boyfriend, Tom. Tom has the simplest of riddles and Edward tries to hide his seething hatred.

Miriam has always lived in the farmhouse. She says her father comes by every Sunday to visit and they play checkers. She knows nothing of a cache of files, but Jim isn’t so sure that she doesn’t possess some useful info. Jim asks her about her mother, but she would rather talk about her new hobby: making jewelry from the bones of starlings. She captures them when they land on her windowsill and smashes their heads with her thumb. She’s in love with the popping sounds breaking bones make. Animal cruelty alert! Jim asks Miriam if that’s how her mother died, and she explains that no, it’s not like with the birds.

Miriam: I had to use a candlestick on her. She wouldn’t stop singing, either. She knew that it was my night. I was supposed to perform at dinner, not her.
Jim: So you hit her and she stopped.

Downstairs Penguin is overcome by Marge and Jude who drive away. Penguin wants to see the files as agreed, but Miriam comes downstairs instead.


Miriam: Who is he? He looks like a bird. I love birds!

(Girl. No, you don’t.)

Jim arrives back at Commisioner Loeb’s office and presents Loeb with one of his daughter’s jewelry creations, sure to be all the rage in Spring. Loeb says Miriam is sick and didn’t mean to hurt her mother, and goes on to say that Jim can expose his family scandal and he’ll simply weather the storm. But Jim knows that Loeb has been covering this up to keep Miriam out of Arkham, and that he’ll do what it takes to keep her out. Loeb offers to resign but Jim wants nothing to do with that.

Jim: No, you’re not resigning. You step down and I’ll have someone else to deal with. Odds are, he’ll be Falcone’s lapdog, same as you. With you, I have leverage.
Loeb: What do you want?
Jim: Flass is tried fairly and you’ll send all your dirt on GCPD officers to Harvey Dent.
Loeb: No, if I do that I’m dead. I love Miriam, but I love living, too. You can have Bullock but not the rest.
Jim: One more thing…

Now, instead of backing Flass, who is probably in handcuffs and en route to prison, Loeb publicly backs Jim for the union presidency. Bullock is a little salty until Jim gives him his Loeb file.

Bullock: You know, you tell yourself, “I’ll just do this one bad thing. All the good things I do later will make up for it.” But they don’t. Penguin’s gonna come asking for that favor. Be careful.

And back at the Penguin’s club, we find out that Penguin released Marge and Jude, but is backing out of his deal to send them to Arizona. Now there’s only one ticket available and they have to figure out who gets it. Jude isn’t into being separated from Marge after 20 years, but Margie is ruthless. She begins savagely attacking Jude, finally strangling him with his scarf as Penguin approaches with a shotgun.

Margie: What time’s the train?
Penguin: Oh, there’s no train. I just needed your help. I was down to one shell.

And he kills her.

Dullmacher asks Fish if the prisoners would like a salsa night. She doens’t think so, but he likes it so Salsa Tuesday is coming up nevertheless. Dulmacher is proud that she was able to deliver on their deal and shows her why he trusts her so much: they’re on a frozen island, miles and miles away from civilization with no way for her to escape.

The Question: There’s only one. Where are they going from here? The show isn’t airing a new episode until April 13!

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Gotham Recap: Ep. 16, “The Blind Fortune Teller”

This is positively spoiler laden, so if you haven’t watched the episode or don’t want potential future plot points ruined, STOP RIGHT NOW. Seriously. Stop reading now because below, SPOILERS ABOUND.

As ruthless as our dear Penguin can be, he is no judge of talent. He proves that to us this episode by hiring his mother as chanteuse for his recently acquired club. Ever the mama’s boy, he unleashes that ruthless side and a bottle of liquor when someone (rightly) begins to heckle her vocal stylings. That vociferous clubgoer will find it hard to smile in future, methinks. Mr. Zsasz, on orders from Falcone, brings back Butch, Fish Mooney’s former right hand, to help Penguin turn his struggling club around and simultaneously make his bladder drop. Only when Mr. Zsasz reveals he’s been torturing poor Butch into docility does Penguin relax and realize that he now has a meek hand puppet who will help him be the success he knows he is on the inside.

Barbara is the worst. The literal worst. Why exactly does she think Jim will be just waiting for her after she basically skipped town on him and went back to her ex? Don’t be mad that he upgraded in your absence! Girl, get your life together. And ask a couple of questions about these two random girls who have obviously been eating up all your food and using your apartment as a squat. But instead of throwing some cold water in her face and asking the important questions, she makes friends. So that’s something, I guess.

We meet the Flying Graysons and their practically life-long rivals, the Lloyds, while Jim and Lee are on a date at the circus. And boy do they love to throw bows. I mean, these families HATE each other (they yell as much during the brawl!), but we get a glimpse of the future when we meet the parents Robin, Gotham City’s favorite sidekick who we all know from comics canon. Good thing they get past the blood feud and get married or we couldn’t have a Boy Wonder!

And of course we have the strong-minded Dr. Lee Thompkins who is dating Jim and really giving him a run for his money! I love it so much. She challenges every little patriarchal quirk Jim displays and never takes his guff. She is no pushover (unlike certain blondes we could mention) and she has no problem flexing her knowledge or calling BS when she needs to. I admit I don’t fully trust her but she is a breath of meadow-fresh air for Jim.

Arguably the biggest draw to this episode is the appearance of Jerome, the young man who will become the Joker. He is the son of a snake dancer at the Grayson/Lloyd circus who has just been found dead. Oh, and he killed her. Surprise! After masterfully pretending to be distraught at his mother’s disappearance and shutting down Gordon’s implications about sex and sexuality, he finally breaks character and devolves into a psychotic laughter-laden tirade about his trifling mother. He just really couldn’t take her nagging about him doing the dishes when she’s getting laid in the next room. (Did anyone notice that the actor who played his father – the eponymous Blind Fortune Teller – also played Felix Faust on Constantine recently?)

I feel like every scene including Fish Mooney should be soundtracked by Trina’s “The Baddest Bitch.” She has zero patience for anyone telling her what to do or how to be. With her newly acquired scarf and sweater, she is running the nameless prison she’s been relegated to – and it took her like three days? All of the prisoners ride for Fish.

She’s all, “Hey, captors. I’m the new ‘shot caller’ here. We need food, water, blankets, and the latest Vogue and you’re going to bring them to us.” And they’re like, “I’m not doing that. Hand over that prisoner. Someone needs a kidney transplant.” And Fish is all, “Bitch, please. You’re not in charge here. Watch me tell these guys to savagely beat that prisoner to death with a hand motion.” *commence beating* “Now go get someone with authority.” Fish is everything.

Then we have young Bruce who is throwing these corrupt Wayne Enterprises board members so much shade I thought a solar eclipse had happened. After continually blowing his meeting requests off, they thought he was going to come in with some fluff like, “Do you guys have a tablet to spare so I can play Angry Birds?” And their faces were absolutely priceless when Bruce pulls out his composition notebook and starts laying into them about how a few of those dirty buggers were definitely working with the criminal underworld to control the Arkham project and some subsidiary is into chemical weapon manufacturing and he wasn’t having that. “If I were a man I would be chairing this board.” BOOM.

All in all, it was a great episode. I get sick of Jim’s antiquated ideas about relationships, but with each episode we see how he becomes more and more of the iconic, hard-nosed, “what’s right is right” Gordon that comics fans know and respect. There was offensively little Nygma, a slight blow because I enjoy him so much, but this show is really ramping up to become something so awesome. The characters continue to be compelling and I can’t (always) predict the storyline, two hallmarks of great programming if you ask me.

Can’t wait for next week! Who’s holding Fish? Who is Red Hood (for those of us who don’t already know)? And who’s breaking into Wayne Manor trying to take out a kid this time?!

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Costumes to avoid this Halloween

You spent hours shopping in the stores and online looking for the perfect, modern, socially relevant Halloween costume, and finally your searching has paid off! You’re feeling confident, looking absolutely amazing and are ready to show that Halloween party what you’re made of.

Yet when you get there, things are looking spookily familiar. Turns out, you’re not the only one who had that perfect, modern, and socially relevant costume idea. Now the scariest part of your Halloween isn’t that creepy, realistic zombie in the corner who must have hired the makeup team from The Walking Dead, or the mystery of what actually is in the punch bowl, but the constant comparisons to another person’s costume.


Don’t be a cliche this Halloween! Here’s a list of some Halloween costumes for guys and gals to absolutely avoid this year.


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This Halloween season we’re sure to see plenty of Robertson-would-be’s. All you need is camouflage pants, a semi-dirty black shirt, and a full, scratchy fake beard and voila – you’re a redneck millionaire. Add a blue plastic cup full of iced tea (or at least a drink costumed as iced tea),and then you can be the goofy, loveable and at times incoherent Uncle Si. It’s no secret that the world is in love with Duck Dynasty right now, and the costume itself is actually really easy and inexpensive. But that’s why you need to avoid it. In fact, many party stores and costume retailers are already carrying their own versions. Sure, it’s a great, crowd pleasing costume, but if you’re going to be out in public with many other costumed characters, you might want to reconsider this one.

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Continuing on with the TV costume trend, the notorious, fictional drug lord Walter White (Bryan Cranston) is another addition to this year’s costume ‘don’t’ list. Fan’s are still reeling from the recent series finale of the enormously popular AMC series Breaking Bad, so this Halloween we’ll definitely get to see many different variations of Walter White, including the basic bald caps and glasses to his crystal meth making safety gear.




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An obvious inclusion, as well as a perennial favorite. Whether it’s the basic cat ears and whip, Michelle Pfeiffer’s messy stitched getup, Halle Berry’s original take, or a vintage take with Arkham City’s sexy yet functional suit, you can’t hit a Halloween party without seeing some variations of Gotham City’s sexy anti-hero, Selina Kyle.


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A lot of pop stars utilize wacky, colorful get-ups in their performances, which makes recreating that as a costume extremely fun. The problem is, most of the time people have the same idea, and Halloween gatherings tend to look more like the VMA’s or a look-a-like convention. So while your Nicki Minaj costume may be supreme, chances are someone else is channeling her as well. Expect to see plenty of Nicki’s, Lady Gaga’s, Kesha’s, Katy Perry’s and, a perennial, Amy Winehouse’s this Halloween season.



Know of some more cliched costumes that we should add to the list? Let us know down below in the comments!

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