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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: S7 E14

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the Season 7 finale! It begins with a re-introduction of all of the Queens, who each walk the runway in some fabulous outfits. Of course Katya & Kennedy Davenport are met with huge applause. Is anyone surprised by this?

When RuPaul comes out, lip syncing to her song “The Realness” (because obviously), she lets the audience know that she’s having a hard time deciding who to crown the winner, so each of the final Queens must do a final lip sync to a song created just for them.

First up, Ginger Minj, who lip syncs to a song about not being able to pray the gay away. You gotta hand it to Ginger: she’s quite the performer, which the judges point out when she finishes her performance. She sits down with RuPaul for a little interview before a clip package of all of her fans is played. One of the videos is from Ginger’s dad and let the tears flow! The two haven’t had much of a relationship so for Ginger to see her dad support her obviously means a lot. THE FEELS!

Can I also quickly mention that JOHN WATERS supports Ginger?! Okay, that’s all.

rupaul final 3Pearl’s song is about being a sleepwalker and it’s pretty darn boring. I get the irony but yikes! But the judges praise Pearl’s “awakening” during the competition. She admits that the fear of looking stupid held her back, but she finally just let go.

Aside from Pearl’s friends and family clip montage, they did an additional montage called “The Curse of Pearl,” which showcased the conspiracy of any Queen that crosses Pearl getting eliminated during that same episode. It’s actually kind of funny, and scary accurate!

And then there’s Violet Chachki, who performs a song about having too many daddies and not enough time. Her act is very Bettie Page-esque, with a striptease thrown in for good measure. Is it weird that I’m oddly jealous of Violet’s stripping skills when I have none? The judges love Violet’s sense of fashion and how she’s one of the few Queens that actually sews! They play her clip montage and alas, it’s pretty unemotional, but her friends and family are pretty funny.

Before the winner is announced, Ru spends some time talking to the eliminated Queens. Some highlights from the segment include:

Tempest DuJour in her finest attire
Tempest DuJour in her finest attire

– Jasmine Marsters receiving some positive words from her role model, Patti LaBelle. It’s a sweet moment concocted by Ru to counterbalance all of the negativity Jasmine has faced on social media.

– Apparently, Kandy Ho lived in Connecticut until she was ten before moving to Puerto Rico.

– Jaidynn Diore Fierce is out and proud and her mom loves her for it.

– Miss Fame brings a chicken out on stage, but doesn’t even speak chicken. I feel cheated!

– Katya tells Ru she wanted to tackle her, stuff her wig into her mouth & have Ru pee on her. So there was that…amazingness.

– Ru tells everyone to go see Kennedy Davenport live, which is kind of a big deal.

Next up, the Miss Congeniality Award! Last year’s winner, Ben de la Creme, comes out in a costume a la “Ginger/Sasha conjoined twins at the boob” with Michelle Visage and announces KATYA as the winner! Like anyone had any doubts. Katya wins a gold version of the Ru statue and, more importantly, cash.

Katya werking it at the RuPaul's Drag Race finale
Katya werking it at the RuPaul’s Drag Race finale

Then it’s time to announce RuPaul’s Drag Race Superstar for Season 7. Last year’s winner Bianca Del Rio – who is serving living statue realness – comes out to help crown the winner.

As is customary, Ru draws out the announcement, and at one point coughs, pauses, and asks for Katya. The audience, three remaining Queens AND Katya all freak out. But phooey, it was just a joke and all Ru wants is some water from Katya. The finalists are relieved. I am not.

And the winner is…VIOLET! With crown on head and scepter in hand, Violet does one final runway walk, claiming her win.

And there you have it folks! Till next time, always remember, the struggle is real so keep it fierce!

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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Ep. 7×10

rupaul the fake housewives

Let’s dive right in, shall we? This week’s mini challenge is kind of amazing. The girls are tasked to serve Rich Bitch Reality Realness by shooting title sequences for RuPaul’s fake new reality show, “The Fake Housewives of RuPaul’s Drag Race.” To give it that extra little oomph, Ru gives them clear plastic tape so the girls can nip/tuck their faces to their heart’s content.

Because I have an unhealthy obsession with the Real Housewives franchise, this mini challenge is everything. Please do enjoy all of the Queens’ pretend title sequence lines:

Pearl: Some people call me a slut, but I’m also an alcoholic.

Kennedy Davenport: I may not be the best cookie in the cookie jar, but at least I taste good.

Violet Chachki: When times get tough, I just breathe through my nose.

Ginger Minj: The secret to success is being God’s favorite.

Trixie Mattel: How did I sleep tonight? Ask your husband.

Katya: What’s the best part of being married to a sociopath? The constant threat of danger keeps you sooo thin.

Ru declares Violet the winner, though I thought this was Katya’s win (she was robbed!).

For their Maxi Challenge, the girls must…DANCE! #PrancingQueens The dances are actually mash-ups for opposing styles, which makes for some quirky, if not WTF-moment-esque routines. Because Violet won the mini challenge, she gets to assign pairs:

Violet & Katya: Tango/Vogue

Ginger & Trixie: Country/Robot

Kennedy & Pearl: Charleston/Twerk

See? These are some veeerrryy strange mash-ups, but you know it’s gonna be HILARIOUS!

To top it all off, Ru informs the girls that for the first time in drag herstory, they must make themselves up as half woman/half man.

Don't drop Ginger, Trixie!
Don’t drop Ginger, Trixie!

The Queens rehearse with Carson Kressley & Kym Johnson (Dancing with the Stars). All of them struggle in their own way – Pearl doesn’t know how to twerk (duh), Katya freaks out over all of the choreography, but it’s Ginger who has it the worst. Her insecurity is visible from space. Dancing is most definitely not her forte and she worries that not only will she fail, but she’ll bring Trixie down with her.

The ladies get ready for the main stage and Katya actually admits that she’s starting to, *gasp,* like Violet! She admires how confident she is and strives to be like that. It’s a tender moment, and a win for Violet considering she typically comes off as an Ice Queen.

On the main stage, our guest judges are:

Comedienne Rachael Harris

Alyssa Milano, who’s uber pregnant and announces that she plans on naming her baby RuPaula (she doesn’t, liar)

rupaul s7 e10 outfit

The girls walk down the runway in their half woman/half man looks. Here’s a necessary breakdown:

Pearl: Hellooo man side. So hot! More beard! Her woman side reps the roaring ‘20s.

Kennedy: I just remember her ass is nice.

Ginger: Stomping down the runway like a Clydesdale in heat.

Trixie: Giving ho-down realness. Her man side loves Jesus because don’t all people who listen to country love Jesus?

Violet: Her lady side feels like a Spanish prostitute, then BAM! Pablo on the other side.

Katya: Her woman side is a Flamingo flapper and her man side is quite possibly the best douchey abusive boyfriend ever (I obviously don’t condone abuse, but in Katya’s drag case, I’m okay with it).

Next up, the pairs take the stage and each dance to their mash-ups. I don’t think I’ve said the word “strange” enough, which it is, but it’s also pure camp and everything RuPaul and her fans love. I was gagging over the ridiculousness of it all.

While Pearl is not the best dancer by any means, what she lacks in skill she actually makes up for in enthusiasm. I guess she took an upper in the morning. Kennedy looks effortless (though according to Carson, she was boooring). Trixie does just fine with the dance, but it’s obviously Ginger is as uncomfortable as a pig in heat (is that a real saying?).

Side note: poor Ginger actually breaks down during critiques, and admits dancing is in public is one of her biggest fears because she fears people will judge her due to her weight. It’s an oddly honest moment and one many people can relate to (I’m raising my hand FYI).

Anyway, this challenge is actually Violet’s to win. She tangos and vogues likes nobody’s watching. Katya is a fine partner, but Violet is the clear standout.

RuPaul has a hard time picking a winner/loser because she feels everyone did so well. But alas, a decision must be made and Violet & Katya are the winners of the main challenge. Did we ever have our doubts? Violet sure didn’t!

Ginger & Trixie are in the bottom two, and let’s face it, we know who’s gonna win before the song even comes on, which is “Show Me Love” by Robin S (I LOVE this song). Ginger lip syncs her little heart out, showing bits of comedy to keep the judges laughing, and sure enough, she’s declared the winner. Trixie is told to sashay away…again.

To end this recap on a funny note, I shall be stealing Pearl’s made-up word “Flah-zee-dah.” I have absolutely no idea what it means and I don’t think she does either, but it’s a good word that just rolls off the tongue for no reason whatsoever.

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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: 7×9

As per tradition, the episode opens with the girls heading back to the workroom following Jaidynn’s elimination. Poor Queen, no one even mentions her. Instead they throw shade at Trixie being brought back on to the show. All the girls’ eyes squint in disapproval as poor Trixie looks around the room with her giant, overly glittered bug eyes in confusion. Cue opening credits.

The Library is OPEN!
The Library is OPEN!

The following day, RuPaul enters the workroom and announces, “In the Great Tradition of Paris is Burning, Bring out your Library Cards!” The girls squeal in delight because that phrase means it’s the Reading is Fundamental (mini) challenge! Basically the girls take turns reading, or throwing shade, at each other and the funniest girl wins. This challenge is a personal favorite of mine and really should be a week-long extravaganza with brackets and all that other sports betting stuff minus sports.

Although the gals are a bit lackluster (following tradition with this season), most did alright, except for poor Miss Fame who falls so hard on her face, I’m pretty sure Pit Crew members are still scraping false eyelashes off the ground. Trixie Mattel wins the challenge, but not gonna lie, I actually enjoy Pearl’s reads a bit more. You be the judge:

Trixie on Ginger Minj: “Did you ever save Carol Anne from the poltergeist in the TV?”

Pearl to Kennedy Davenport:  “Your eye is on the prize and your other eye is on the crown”

rupauls-drag-race-pearl-ru-season-7-episode-9

For this week’s Maxi Challenge, the girls are paying homage to John Waters & Divine by screen testing for parts in Ru-sicals (aka musicals) based on John Waters most iconic movie scenes. #JohnWaters4ever

As Katya exclaims: “John Waters has a filthy, twisted, delinquent sense of humor. He’s my hero.”

The girls have to break up into 3 teams:

  • Pearl, Fame, Violet Chachki – “Poo” based on Pink Flamingos
  • Katya, Kennedy – “Cha Cha Heels” based on Female Trouble
  • Ginger Minj, Trixie – “Eggs” based on Pink Flamingos

And here’s how it all goes down in a nutshell:

Cha Cha Heels

Kennedy plays Dawn Davenport (Divine) and Katya her mother. I swear, Katya can turn a one-liner into a Broadway show, she has that much presence. She takes a basic role and makes the mother bigger and funnier than life. Kennedy does a pretty good job in the Dawn role – she can carry a tune and uses good physicality to amp up the comedy. But (and this is thanks to editing), she almost ruins the scene by hesitating before toppling the Christmas tree over onto Katya. Thanks to the ability to have more than one take, the tree is toppled and Katya goes down! Funny FTW.

Eggs

Ginger plays the Edith Massey character to a T, or so I’m going to assume because I have admittedly never seen Pink Flamingos in its entirety. Shame on me. What I do know is Ginger is an awesome combo of creepy weird and adorable and it works perfectly. Trixie plays Divine’s character and is okay, but mostly overshadowed by the larger-than-life Ginger. Sorry Trixie, but at least your wackadoodle make-up was on point for the scene!

Poo

“Poo” is truly the best way to describe this train wreck of a scene. It’s no secret that Pearl, Fame and Violet are no funny Queens, but when a stuffed dog outshines your performance, you know you’ve got problems. This is one of the most iconic scenes in John Waters’ cinematic history (I might be a wee dramatic on this one, but I’m sticking by it!) and these three Queens simply flop. Pearl plays “Good Divine,” and she is at full Benadryl-induced capacity. On the other side of the spectrum is Fame, who plays “Bad Divine.” She’s so over the top, and in her own head that not even Michelle Visage’s boobs can penetrate the terrible character she’s created for herself. And then there’s Violet playing “Middle Divine,” who apparently assumed that haphazardly placed padding would do the trick. It doesn’t.

This week’s main stage category is Ugliest Dress Ever. I actually love the idea of the girls dressing down for the runway. It makes all of us common folk feel normal. In the workroom, there’s a strange underlying tension thing going on between Fame & Pearl. I personally hope it’s sexual. Hey, a girl can dream. Some of the girls discuss the hardship of being a professional female impersonator because blahblahblah…Fame & Pearl action now!

Anyway, tonight’s guest judges are:

John Waters – No surprise here. Also, this is not John Waters’ official Twitter, but this is funnier because it’s his mustache’s Twitter. Way better IMO.

Demi Lovato – Thanks for providing the lip sync song girl!

The girls strut down the runway in their ugliest garments. Katya and Ginger rule this category with Katya in a pee meets poo-style yellow dress with brown trim and Ginger in some lime green amazeballs frock. Oddly enough, Violet turns it out by serving us some literal clown realness, but what makes her appearance is her decision to strut down the runway as if she’s wearing couture.

On the other side of the coin, Fame and Pearl opt for “pretty-ugly,” emphasis on the pretty. Pearl admits she wants the judges to think she looks cute, thus negating the entire challenge she’s tasked with. Fame wears what looks like a giant Hershey’s Kiss wrapper, so in her eyes it’s ugly, but John just tells her she needs “ugly lessons.”

During critiques, Ru shakes it up by asking the girls which Queen should go home and why. No surprise, all the girls except for Fame and Violet choose Fame. Violet votes for Trixie and in the ultimate shade-off, Fame calls out Pearl because she feels she’s “too cool for Season 7.” Fame tries to defend herself by telling Pearl directly that she’s previously said this to her, but Pearl claims that’s BS. Thus enter more tension.

Ru announces Ginger as the winner of the main challenge and in my opinion, it’s a well-deserved win.

Fame and Pearl end up in the bottom two, and no shocker, have to lip sync to Demi’s “Really Don’t Care.” The two are so boring and lackluster. When two Queens are asked to lip sync for their lives, I EXPECT to see some passion and/or cool s**t. In Fame’s defense (yes I’m going to defend her), she’s working with a shapeless tent of a dress and any dance movements goes unnoticed. Meanwhile, Pearl does some hair flips. The only highlight of this lip sync is when they both flip each other off in unison during a part of the song. So there was that.

In the end, Pearl gets to stay and Fame is asked to Sashay Away. Look, Fame is not the sharpest tool in the box, but I’m going to miss that chicken clucking goofy weirdo Queen. Pour one out hunties.

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