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Movie Review: ‘Lace Crater’

Lace Crater Fast Facts:

Director/Writer: Harrison Atkins
Cast: Lindsay Burdge (A Teacher), Peter Vack (6 Years), Chase Williamson (John Dies at the End), and Keith Poulson (Somebody Up There Likes Me)
Genre: Drama
Runtime: 83 minutes
Release: Opens Theatrically NYC + on VOD (Exclusively on FlixFling) on July 29th; Opens Theatrically LA on August 5th; National Rollout to Follow

Review:

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Ruth + Michael = Tru Luv 4eva (Lace Crater)

Lace Crater is a cautionary tale of why kids these days should not do drugs, drink, or have unprotected sex… with ghosts (even if they say they’re a virgin).

No, really!

When Ruth (Lindsay Burdge) and her 20-something year old hipster friends go on a weekend getaway to a pal’s family vacation home in the Hamptons (ooh la la!) they pop pills, down a couple of cold ones, and hang out in the hot tub, sharing secrets and telling ghost stories. While this sounds like the making of a stereotypical horror movie (see my review for The Levenger Tapes), things get really unique (i.e. weird) when Ruth returns to her room and stumbles upon Michael (Peter Vack), a ghost who “haunts” the house.

The two engage in awkward conversation that a middle schooler might call “flirting,” partake in drawn-out face touching that is supposed to be “foreplay,” and have a roll in the hay (or should I say… lilies on a casket). That’s right: Ruth and Michael have a magical night of Woman/Apparition sex as illustrated through dramatic zoom ins of burlap sacks and shaky cam shots of nipples. Alas, the next morning he doesn’t even make her eggs (we learn ghosts don’t eat or defecate), and she doesn’t even leave a note that she’ll text him sometime. Instead, Ruth goes back to the city with her friends.

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My dramatic re-enactment of a real Lace Crater scene

Sadly, what happens in the haunted house in the Hamptons doesn’t stay in the haunted house in the Hamptons: Ruth is quickly plagued with vomiting, hallucinations, bouts of strange ooze, and other disgusting symptoms that will make you swear celibacy. What’s worse is that she’s quickly slut shamed by all of her friends, her doctor is a joke (literally), and she has no idea what to do. The rest of the story is her plight to get answers and figure out what’s going on with her. Unfortunately, as Michael says, sometimes there are no answers and we just have to stop looking. So is the case with this film.

I have to admit, the plot to this story is so out there, that when I read the initial synopsis, I told myself, “NO WAY! I MUST WATCH THAT!” Unfortunately, the delivery of the film suffers for exactly that reason.

It’s just too weird for its own good.

I felt like it was trying way too hard to be whimsical and quirky, to the extent that a lot of the intended charm came off forced. For instance, I believe the dialogue was supposed to be realistic and relatable, but hearing all the awkward pauses and stutters were agonizing! Also, for a film that was relatively short (it clocks in at just 83 minutes), it felt unbearably long due to the choppy editing and haphazard pacing. I had mixed feelings on the aesthetics of the movie. Visually, it looks stunning: gorgeous colors, detailed sets, stylish wardrobes, unconventionally beautiful actors, etc. Any one shot would make a lovely photograph. However, everything appeared to be filmed via a handheld camera, so the cinematography was jarring, and, quite frankly, rather nauseating.

I was also very unhappy with the audio quality. Some parts were very quiet, almost inaudible, while others were booming. I began to wonder if the speakers were haunted, too! I feel like the film team should have invested in a dolly and an additional boom mic before starting production.

Though Lace Crater had an original plot and appealing visuals, it was literally and figuratively painful to watch, so unless you have the patience of a saint (or a ghost) I just can’t recommend it to you, GeekGirl World.

For a closer look at Lace Crater, check out the teaser trailer below:

What did YOU think GeekGirl World? Let us know in the comments section!

You can catch Lace Crater when it opens in NYC or on VOD (Exclusively on FlixFling) on July 29th, or catch it when it comes to theaters in LA August 5th.

Want more movie madness, darling cinephiles? Be sure to check out our other film reviews here!

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Film Friday: ‘Hello, My Name Is Doris’

When I first heard about this film, the fact that Sally Field was in it caught my attention, and after reading the synopsis I thought that it must be some dramatic angsty romance with a little bit of comedy to lighten the mood. I was totally, completely, and pleasantly WRONG! This movie is a wonderfully amazing, side-splitting, laugh out loud jaunt through a life interrupted on the verge of an awakening. I enjoyed every single minute of it! The character of Doris is so beautifully written and Sally Field is the perfect fit! Check out my full review below!

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Interview: Joanne Arnett, Creator Of Secret Admirer Handmade Cards

47dce2b4896924dc6cdc5bbf8c20867e_largeJoanne Arnett is an artist on a mission to spread love this Valentine’s Day. Her Kickstarter project, Secret Admirer, has already received a huge response with over 500 backers supporting her efforts to bring a little joy from Loveland, OH to their loved ones and secret crushes. I recently had the opportunity to chat with Joanne about art and romance in general.

Ari: When did you first start crafting and making art?

Joanne: I’m one of those kids who always wanted to be an artist. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t making something

Ari: Do you think handmade papercrafting is becoming a dying art?

Joanne: I visited the SOFA expo in Chicago this fall and there were some great paper/craft based pieces exhibited. Artists are working with the paper in books and maps and making something completely new. The Hansel & Gretel: a shadow theater note book project  currently running on Kickstarter is a beautiful example of contemporary paper craft. I think craft in general is experiencing resurgence and paper is certainly a part of that. So no, I don’t think it’s dying.

Ari: Where do you normally get inspiration from for your art or crafting ideas?

Joanne: I take a lot of inspiration from photography. The process of developing an image is sort of magic, and that experience of seeing an image appear is important to my work. I’m drawn toward awkward and imperfect images, bad yearbook portraits, mug shots, folk and outsider art.

Ari: What advice do you have for others, particularly women, who are interested in art and crafting as more than just a hobby?

Joanne: Get your work out there! You can make the best quilts, sketches, letterpress cards, whatever. But if you don’t get your work out there no one will know and others can’t enjoy it.

Ari: Did you ever expect such a huge response to your Kickstarter idea?

Joanne: Nope. I hoped there would be fifty people who wanted a $5 postcard so the project would be funded, and if things went really crazy well I might be 200% funded. Surprise! The response has been wonderful. I’ve started writing messages and each one makes me smile.  I feel so lucky to be sending out so many lovely notes.

Ari: What do you love most about Valentine’s Day?

Joanne: We should probably all tell those we love that we care about them more often than we do, so I think it’s nice that there is one day of year designated as a time to do just that.

RogueGalleryDetail
Rogue Gallery Detail

Ari: What would be your idea of the most romantic Valentine’s Day surprise?

Joanne: A bottle of champagne and a handmade card.

Ari: Are you inspired by any romantic movies and what are your favorites?

Joanne: I don’t know if this is really considered a romantic movie, but that moment when Johnny Depp swings past Mary Stewart Masterson’s window in Benny & Joon is just perfect. And I think Lost in Translation is a beautiful love story, although it’s about a different kind of love.

SelfPortrait
Self Portrait

Ari: What are some other art pieces you are working on?

Joanne: I am currently creating thesis work for a master of fine arts degree at Kent State University. I break apart the materials used in traditional photography, paper becomes cotton yarn and the metals used in light sensitive emulsions become silver wire, and I build portraits by weaving the new materials together. The image is visible when light bounces off the shiny wire, and it disappears as the viewer’s perspective changes. It’s exciting to create art in a way I’ve never seen before.

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