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‘Face Off’ Recap: Movie Magic Part 2

It’s the finale!! Such a bittersweet moment!

We pick up right where we left off last week with Evan doubting his ability to make a third character. Mckenzie knows just how challenging it will be, so she has brought some additional help for the artists. In walks Ricky, Jason, and Libby, who are quickly snagged up by Nora, Ben, and Evan respectively.

Evan’s third character will be the fully evolved version of his other two infected characters. For Nora it is going to be a bit of a challenge to create her third character, which has to be even bigger than her hunter. Ben’s new character is a female meant to be sacrificed to his ancient alien character.

The finale is going to take place at Pulsa Rosa Ranch. Each finalist will have their applications and last looks in their very own makeup trailers.

First up for the screen test is Nora, who is micromanaging like a boss. Every last speck of dirt is placed according to her vision. When time is called they are all driven over to their set amongst the trees. Ve, Glenn, and Neville are there to watch how the characters perform and interact as well as what they look like on film. Patrick wants to see Nora’s hunter chase the prey character through a stream, which forces her to do some last minute waterproofing. Finally they get the footage of the larger ally character and Nora couldn’t be happier with how menacing he looks.

Second screen test goes to Ben, whose edges have come out far better than they did on his trial screen test. They have all learned from their previous mistakes and are knocking the priest and ancient down without a hitch. Their victim character, however, is having serious difficulties with edges and the beauty makeup application. To hide the bubbled edge, Ben throws down some blood to make the appearance of a wound before heading off to set. The first scene looks great and the contrast between the priest and the ancient really play well together. Unfortunately the mouth of his victim isn’t cooperating and has turned into an opaque mess. Along with the bubbled mouth problem, Patrick also asks that they get rid of the purple contacts. We will have to  wait and see if the messed up victim knocks Ben out of the top.

Evan is up finally and his third creature requires a lot of work. There’s only an hour left and the entire paint job still needs to be done. Patrick is fond of the new makeup choices and changes that were made on the first two characters in that they look far more human. Ve, Neville and Glenn seem very please with Evan’s new massive creature as well.

 

Filming is complete on all three short stories and now is judgment time. The judges get the opportunity to speak with each artist individually about their characters as well as view the final films.

In the end, this season’s champion of Face Off Season 9 is Nora!

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The next season returns in January so don’t forget to tune in!

Do you think Nora deserved to win? Let us know in the comments!

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Daredevil Season Finale Recap, Ep. 113, “Daredevil”

We’ve finally come to the season finale of Daredevil! I have to say, this has been one of my favorite shows to recap. Waiting a week to watch each episode was SO DIFFICULT but entirely worth the slow burn of Matt Murdock’s development into a proper hero. This season has far exceeded my expectations for what this show could be (and I wasn’t expecting much) and I’m already itching for season two! Now that’s out of the way, on to the finale!

Okay, so we’re starting off with me crying: it’s Ben Urich’s funeral and he is being laid to rest by Father Lantham. Matt and Karen are in attendance as well as Ben’s wife, Doris. Oh and Ben’s editor, Ellison, showed up, too. (Wonder how guilty he’s feeling for not taking Ben seriously about Fisk?) Noticeably absent? Foggy. Karen pays her respects to Doris and Doris is pleased to meet her, as Ben admired her. Karen tells her she blames herself for Ben’s death but Doris reminds Karen that Ben never pursued a story unless he wanted to.

Father Lantham speaks to Matt, who is obviously raging inside at Ben’s death. He also blames himself, which Lantham discourages, but Matt isn’t swayed and Karen “helps” him leave the funeral.

Back at the office, Karen accuses Ellison of being Fisk’s paid mole at the paper, but Matt reminds her that Ben never said he had evidence of that. Switching gears, Karen notes her disappointment in Foggy not showing up for the funeral. Matt takes the blame for that as well, and tells Karen she should go home to get some sleep. She tells Matt that she’s worried Fisk will discover she went to St. Benizet with Ben, but I think she’s more concerned with Fisk discovering her showdown with Wesley in that basement. She feels like trying to fight Fisk is hopeless since he has so many resources but Matt is like, “Hey! I said I would protect you after the whole Union Allied thing, right? Still binding.” Then Matt promises that everyone who’s in bed with Fisk will get what’s coming to them – including the big man himself.

Vanessa has recovered enough for Fisk to bring her back to his penthouse and she finds him staring out the window as she emerges from the bedroom. He’s been looking over money transfer documents to prepare for Vanessa to leave the country but she again refuses to leave without him. He indicates that something’s wrong with the numbers and says he’ll have Leland look into it.

Fisk and Leland meet at a garage of sorts as Leland fills him in on the current structure of their enterprise. Leland adds that they’ll need to find a replacement for Madame Gao’s heroin trade, as she is in the wind, and implies that maybe she wasn’t their ally after all. Then Fisk shows Leland the documents he had been reviewing in his penthouse: evidence of the transfer he ordered Wesley to make before he was found dead. Fisk says there are some irregularities with his accounts and Leland brushes it off as cover for the authorities should they come sniffing around. As Leland gives the document back, his hand shakes almost violently and he begins to sweat noticeably, even though it’s freezing outside. The jig is finally up and when Leland confesses, Fisk assumes that he killed Wesley because he discovered the irregularities and that he was responsible for the attack at the benefit. Leland denies the former, but cannot skate around the latter, as Fisk has realized that Gao was in on the attack as well. Leland confesses that the poisonings were meant for Vanessa to nudge Fisk back on track, and somehow this man doesn’t think his life is in danger as Fisk becomes more irate by the second. He tells Fisk that they’re going to part ways amicably because he’s got leverage: the missing Detective Hoffman. He’s paid Hoffman $10 million to wait for daily calls from Leland ensuring his safety; if he doesn’t get a call, Hoffman will go to the feds and spill his guts about all his dealings with Fisk. Thinking he’s covered all his bases, Leland asks if they have a deal and Fisk is like, “Mmm, no,” and punches him square in the face. Looks like another Wilson Fisk Signature Beatdown! Leland tases Fisk but doesn’t take him down, so Fisk gets revenge for Vanessa by throwing Leland down an elevator shaft. Then he orders his men to sweep the city to find Hoffman and kill him.

Matt tears up the heavy bag at the gym as Foggy arrives. He tells Foggy that he tried going out and knocking some heads, but Ellison wasn’t available for a chat so he’ll try again tomorrow night. Foggy asks if Matt wants to talk about his anger issues and Matt’s like, “You’re not my priest – who you would have met if you’d shown up for Ben’s funeral.” Foggy says he got a call from Marcie when he was on his way to the funeral and she’s copied some good, incriminating documents on Fisk. Matt thinks Foggy is being irresponsible involving Marcie and packs up to leave, vowing to go after Fisk again. Foggy worries what will happen to Matt this time, since he found him nearly dead the last time Matt went after Fisk. He tells Matt to use the law to combat Fisk like he always preached to Foggy and Karen, saying they’ll take them down together. Matt’s like, “Oh, so we’re a ‘we’ again? We can’t go back to the way things were, but we can try to move forward.”

So they do…directly to the police station to see their buddy Mahoney. After Foggy hands over some more (good) cigars for Mahoney’s mom, he begins to spill about the fire at Madame Gao’s warehouse and his run in with the man in the mask. They fill Mahoney in on pieces of their investigation, namely that they think Fisk murdered Ben for visiting his mother, and Mahoney says they found no evidence of that at the scene. A couple of officers exit the building saying they’re looking for Mahoney inside, and Matt hones in on one of their cell phone conversations: the officer is talking about the hunt for Hoffman. When Mahoney goes back inside, Matt fills Foggy in on his suspicions and they realize they need to get to Hoffman before Fisk’s men find him.

At the office, Matt, Karen, and Foggy are three researchers once again as they comb through the documents Marcie smuggled to them. Karen wonders if Hoffman will actually testify against Fisk if they find him, but Matt is sure he will based on the disappearances of all of Fisk’s other allies. Then she asks how they found out about Leland hiding Hoffman, and Foggy and Matt lie badly about a run in with the man in the mask, saying they think he’s trying to do the right thing. Foggy doesn’t think these documents will help them nail down Leland, but Matt makes an important point: men of financial privilege will not often use their own money for something when they can use someone else’s, just as Karen finds a property rundown that is one property short but shows no profit loss. With the location of the missing property in hand, Matt lies smoothly that he’s going to report this info to Mahoney, but he really leaves to go investigate himself (plus a mask). Foggy sees right through this but Matt tells him this is where law meets real life and he can’t risk losing Hoffman to dirty cops.

Driving across town, Fisk gets a call which seems to imply that someone had located Hoffman. Fisk gives the order for the closest team to move in and specifies that there be no survivors.

Leland’s guys distribute dinner as they keep a watchful eye on Hoffman – and the clock. Leland is due to call in eight minutes or less. No call and they’re blowing that popsicle stand. Just then, a team of dirty cops burst in and execute every single guy watching over Hoffman. They’re about to kill Hoffman (who has squeezed his eyes shut) but instead of a single shot, we hear lots of punches thudding and shots flying wildly until Hoffman finally opens his eyes to see the man in the mask beating down the last cop. Hoffman is wearing a blood mask (so popular this year) and shaking like a leaf when Matt pulls up a chair to talk to him. Matt tells him that he can go turn state’s evidence on Fisk rightnow or he can wait for Fisk to send more people to kill him. Hoffman isn’t convinced that he won’t be killed anyway, so Matt tells him to turn himself in to Brett Mahoney specifically and get linked up to a couple of lawyers who can’t be bought. He says he’s going to follow Hoffman as he turns himself in and Hoffman won’t like what happens if he doesn’t.

And so, bloody and fearful, Hoffman approaches Mahoney at the station saying he needs to make a statement. Fast forward and Hoffman is being represented by Nelson and Murdock as Hoffman prepares to give a video statement before a federal panel. Matt relays that Hoffman isn’t seeking a deal but only wants to provide evidence as a sort of penance, and Hoffman is ordered to start at the beginning, leaving no details out.

Then we have a montage! It’s Turk Barrett being run down by the FBI! It’s a bunch of crooked cops being led out of the 15th precinct! It’s Ellison Caldwell being arrested at the Bulletin! It’s Landman being surrounded as he gets to work (and as Marci looks on in her car)! It’s Senator Cherryh being carted out of his offices!

The arrests are all over the news and Fisk ties up loose ends as he prepares to be arrested. He tells Vanessa that she needs to do something for him and explains a plan as the FBI files into the building. With them breaking his door down, he proposes to Vanessa and is then led outside to a media frenzy. He is cuffed and put into a secure transit vehicle with armed guards in the back while reporters continue to shout questions at him.

Matt, Foggy, and Karen celebrate the news of Fisk’s arrest and they toast to all the people who suffered at the hands of Fisk.

In the transit vehicle, Fisk begins to tell a biblical story about a man on his way to Jericho. The traveler was set upon by thieves on his way until a good Samaritan rescued the man and put him up in an inn using all of his money because he loved his city and everyone in it. Fisk says he always thought he was the Samaritan in the story but realizes that he’s actually the ill intent who set upon the traveler. Just then, his whole police escort is stopped on a bridge and they come under assault from a group of mercenaries. The cops call for back up and are taken down one by one and the assault is televised.

Foggy puts Karen in a cab and tries to convince Matt not to go get involved. Matt asks him to trust him and Foggy relents, telling Matt to go be a hero.

With all the cops down, the mercs prep to retrieve the package. One of the guards in the back with Fisk kills the other and Fisk is freed and escorted to a delivery  truck to be taken to another location. He yells to his team to take out anyone who tries to follow by ground or air.

Matt heads back to Melvin Potter, who has finished Matt’s new suit. Matt is pleased, but Melvin wants to know if this means Betsy is for sure safe from Fisk. So Matt’s all, “I’m a man of my word, Melvin.”

Standing on a rooftop, Matt listens for chatter about Fisk just as the delivery truck pulls into a warehouse and he is transferred to a smaller delivery truck for Summerville Department Stores. When one of the mercs announces that the package is en route with an ETA of 18 minutes, Matt hears this and springs into action. Fisk speaks to Vanessa (who is waiting by a helicopter for a swift extraction) and tells her to leave without him if he hasn’t arrived in 20 minutes’ time. He adds that if he doesn’t make it, it isn’t the end of their relationship but an inconvenience, promising that nothing will ever keep them apart.

As the driver announces a 15-minute ETA, the truck is hit through the windshield by a stick and flip over onto its side. Fisk exits the vehicle with a gash on his head, and Daredevil jumps down onto the truck to confront Fisk. One of the mercs opens fire and Matt does some fancy stick work while Fisk makes a break for it. Matt corners Fisk in an alley (giving us a full view of the new costume!!!) and Fisk begins to rant about how Daredevil robbed him of his ability to make the city a better place. Then he says he’s going to kill him, and Matt’s like, “COME AT ME, BRO!”

They start fighting and each get in some good hits, but Daredevil is doing the most damage until Fisk begins to use his brute strength to throw Daredevil into walls and dumpsters and run at him like a bull seeing red. Daredevil recovers as Fisk finds a pipe to use, but Daredevil’s better: he uses his pipe to lay Fisk out. With some strategic hits to the head area, Fisk is disoriented but gains the upper hand and lifts Daredevil above his head only to throw him bodily onto the ground. He continues to strike and scream at him on the ground until Daredevil declares that this is his city and rises up to knock Fisk down with his sticks. Fisk taunts him that one man in a silly little costume can’t make a difference, so Daredevil hits him with a final leaping punch – just as Mahoney shows up in his squad car. Mahoney realizes that Daredevil is the man in the mask and accepts that he has just caught a fugitive, and so calls it in.

Vanessa disappointedly waits at the helicopter when Francis (presumably) tells her that it’s time to go, now or never. Slipping the engagement ring Fisk gave her on her finger, she boards the helicopter and they lift off.

Back in the alley, Mahoney cuffs Fisk and wonders what he should call the city’s new savior in his reports as Matt scales the walls like a parkour master. And Karen grabs up the newest Bulletin which dubs him Daredevil. She, Matt, and Foggy discuss the new moniker and its applicability as Foggy finally installs their sign on the office. Then he bails to help Marcie find a new job since her bosses are mostly under indictment. Matt and Karen send their thanks but Foggy reminds them that Fisk still needs to go to trial, which could easily be a year from now. Matt chooses to focus on how Fisk is in prison where he belongs and revels in the fact that they put him there. As Karen goes to enter the office, Matt stops her, saying he’s noticed something weird in her voice for a while. He says he thought it would go away when Fisk was put away but it hasn’t, and she basically says putting Fisk away has left deep scars that they can’t forget. Matt says they can promise to move forward, together, and they head into the office.

Fisk is kept in a small windowless cell and sets about passing the time: with his bruised and cut up face, he stares at the latest white stucco wall in his life, seemingly biding his time.

And Daredevil stands on a rooftop surveying his city and, hearing a scream, leaps into action once more.

All images courtesy of Marvel and Netflix.

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Orphan Black Season Finale Recap: Ep. 310, “History Yet to Be Written”

Is it just me or did this Orphan Black season finale sneak up on us? Nine episodes already?! Ah, well. We’ve gotten SO MUCH information about the Leda and Castor clones this season that I’m not even mad. Let’s see what the finale has for us!

Rachel dreams about her father as she recovers from surgery and wakes in an empty but meticulously decorated room. After Dr. Nealon doesn’t respond to her, she climbs into her wheelchair and grabs a note on the table. It must have said, “You’ve got a new eye,” because she then grabs a hand mirror and removes the bandage over her left eye to reveal…an enhanced eye that is not an exact copy of Rachel’s eye after all.

Sarah, Felix, and Art join Scott at a warehouse of sorts that Art says is so tied up in police bureaucracy that they’ll be safe hiding out there. Scott is building what looks like a quarantine room and Siobhan escorts Kendall inside, threatening to incinerate her if it looks like Castor is about to get their hands on her. Sarah intervenes but she, Felix, and Scott walk away still worried about impending attacks from Castor and Topside.

Rudy struggles to keep a hold on himself as he waits for Coady and Mr. Benchman (yeah, that’s the actual name we’re rolling with). When they arrive, Benchman confirms his lack of faith that Rudy will live much longer with a placating “We appreciate your service” and Coady tells Rudy that she has another assignment for him. She tells Rudy that Sarah found and apprehended the Castor original, but since neither she nor her buddies can be located, he’ll have to strike at the only one who hasn’t gone underground: Alison.

Alison holds a small rally and giveaway near a school bus to continue to solidify support for her campaign and Marci Coates comes by to try to shit stir, as usual. Alison doesn’t let Marci bother her or her megaphone and continues to campaign.

And at the Hendrix home, Donnie has a surprise for Helena. She wonders if he’d planned for them to ride Alison’s election school bus, but he has something much better for her: Helena’s bar boyfriend, Jesse (remember him?).

Shay hears a small knock at the door and it’s Cosima (sans Delphine) come to apologize for accusing her of being a spy. Leaving the door open for Cosima, Shay tells her that Delphine is nuts and threatened to bleed her out in her bathtub which shocks Cosima. Cosima is still confused as to why Shay would lie about herself and Shay’s like, “Says you! I don’t even really know who you are at all, do I?” Shay tries to get Cosima to tell her the truth, but when Cosima says she can’t, Shay gives her the boot.

Delphine slips a small gun in her jacket pocket as Ferdinand arrives at Dyad. After a bit of banter, Ferdinand demands that Delphine turn over the original so he can return her to Topside and be Delphine’s boss. Delphine says that’s not how it’s going to work and Sarah walks out, telling Ferdinand that she’s going to offer him a deal.

After realizing that Sarah wasn’t held in the basement when he last visited but pretending to be Rachel, Sarah bargains some of Kendall’s DNA to Ferdinand in exchange for his killing off Castor, calling him the lesser of two evils. Delphine tells Ferdinand about Coady weaponizing the Castors and Sarah offers to give Ferdinand Coady as well, making sure to threaten to incinerate Kendall if he tries any funny business (everyone wants to incinerate Kendall!). He thinks she’s bluffing but Sarah’s all, “I’m immune, so…”

Back at the safe house, Cosima arrives to take blood and tissue from Kendall, but Kendall doesn’t like the look of her at all. Brushing that aside, Cosima is friendly and gentle with Kendall and encourages her to remove the ridiculous white suit she’s wearing. When Cosima tries to make conversation by telling Kendall that the clones call each other sister, Kendall flies off the handle, saying she doesn’t give a flip what those copies of her have to say and threatens to gut Cosima if she touches her. Cosima tells Kendall that she has her to thank for her life and that she’s her last chance at a cure, so Kendall finally relents and allows Cosima to take her blood.

Sarah and Felix arrive at room 207 in a sketchy building (thanks to Art) and he kicks the door in quite impressively to reveal Mark and Gracie inside. Sarah confronts Gracie about giving the Castor affiliates the book and chides the couple about being blind to Coady’s motives. Mark says he and Gracie just want to enjoy the little time he has left together before the gene takes him out, too. Seeing an opportunity, Sarah tells him that she wants to take Coady out of the game, leaving Mark free to be with Gracie, but he needs to tell her what Coady’s next move is going to be first.

Siobhan has little love for Kendall left and laughs at Kendall when she decries her poor treatment. By way of a bath, Siobhan tells Kendall that she’s preparing a sulfuric acid bath for her which puts Kendall on edge. Siobhan is finally ready to get revenge for Kendall killing John (even though Kendall maintains she didn’t start the fight that ended in his death, only finished it) and assures Kendall that if it seems like Castor is about to get their hands on Kendall, she will put Kendall in the bath.

Delphine tells Dr. Nealon that Ferdinand thinks Rachel is dead and has been nosing around, so he offers to move Krystal-as-Rachel to a private facility right away. As Delphine looks “Rachel” over, she notices that she’s wearing acrylic nails, causing Krystal’s hand to fly up and backhand Delphine so hard she hit the floor. Krystal sits up in a panic, freaking out at 1) recognizing Delphine from the salon and 2) being in a recovery room with bandages over her eye. Delphine shoos a nurse away and calms Krystal down and peels the bandage off Krystal’s eye to confirm that she’s isn’t Rachel. Krystal continues to freak out while Delphine sighs in exasperation.

Meanwhile, Rachel tries out her new eye and realizes she can see incredible depth and detail. She notices finches in the room and shouts for someone to tell her what exactly is going on.

Helena and Jesse sit in his tow truck while she catches him up on the highlights of her life since they last saw each other: break self and sestra out of prison, get new mom (Mrs. S), move in with other sestra and make soap, teach children karate. He loves her adventures and is so happy to see her again that they make out and get grabby as she straddles him in the driver’s seat. Helena tells Jesse that even though she has “science baby” inside her, he will be her first – when she gets a call on her clone phone. They put their romance on hold for a little longer as Helena goes off to help her family.

And the votes are coming in as Alison and Donnie stand near the polls excited to see democracy in action. Rudy lurks nearby and spies on Alison and Donnie but isn’t seen as they head to the campaign bus.

Sarah and Felix return to the safe house with Mark just as she’s finished preparing the bath. Siobhan is surprised to see Mark but Sarah asks her to trust her.

Rudy slips into the crowd boarding Alison’s campaign bus and follows after her in a van.

In real time, Sarah reports to the gang that Rudy is, in fact, tailing Alison like Mark said (Siobhan still doesn’t trust him). And since part of Sarah’s plan includes a beat up Mark, she punches him a couple of times in the face.

Alison drives her campaign bus back to her own neighborhood, gets out behind her house and walks into the backyard as the bus drives away. Rudy suffers a short glitch but recovers and follows Alison into the backyard. He’s about to make a move to enter the house when he hears a noise in the garage. There, we see Alison duct taping screws to her hands like weapons and when Rudy goes inside he finds that it’s actually Helena. She tells him they’ll fight by prison rules and offers him duct tape for his knife. He declines and she’s like, “You’ll be sorry when I slice your bicep,” and they get to it.

Coady gets a video call from bloody-faced Rudy who says he came across Helena. He shows Kendall to Coady, claiming that Helena lead him to her, and we realize it’s Mark-as-Rudy. Looks like the Leda clones aren’t the only actors! He sends Coady their location and the trap is laid.

Helena continues to fight and taunt Rudy as he continues to glitch. She encourages him to hang in there because it’s almost over.

Coady, tailed by a few vehicles, arrives at “Rudy’s” location.

Helena takes advantage of Rudy’s glitching and drives one of her screwdrivers through his right bicep, just like she promised she would.

Outside the safe house, Coady waves a handful of armed soldiers on as they cut open the gate and move forward.

Rudy drops his knife as Helena removes her screwdriver from his arm and he falls to the ground.

And a man puts a bullet in Coady’s driver’s head. Then Ferdinand joins her in the back seat, telling her that she won’t find what she’s looking for there.

Still alive, the most feral clones have a heart to heart. Helena lies down on the floor next to him as Rudy tells her that when he was young he and his brothers would sleep together in a corner like puppies. She says she was made to be a killer when she was nine. He tells her the Castors had a purpose just like the Ledas, so she’s like, “No, because you’re a rapist,” as he bleeds out on the floor.

As Sarah has confirmed that the Castors (minus Mark) are down for the count and Ferdinand has apprehended Dr. Coady, Siobhan decides to have a little chat with Kendall about Kira. Siobhan uses the fact that Kira is technically Kendall’s niece to convince her to start spilling vital clone information and Kendall says it all goes back to Professor Duncan. Kendall says that five years after he harvested her, Duncan visited her again to tell her what he’d done and explain that he now feared for his life because of Neolution. Duncan told Kendall that he hid her identity from everyone because his science had been corrupted, so Kendall went to Siobhan to help hide Duncan and so Duncan could steer the one child who managed to escape monitoring, Sarah, to Siobhan’s care. Kendall and Siobhan share a tender moment at this when Sarah gets a text message that “they’re here.”

Delphine questions Dr. Nealon about where Rachel really is and who he’s working for. He tells her to turn on the monitor in the room and we see footage of Rachel in her tidy room yelling for someone to tell her anything. Then Nealon spills that he has always worked for Neolution, steering operations from the inside of Topside and the Castor organization.

Felix arrives at the safe house with Ferdinand and his body man.

Delphine says Neolution was nothing but pop science but Nealon says Neolution has infiltrated and run all aspects of Leda and Castor since the very beginning, calling them Neolution’s Adam and Eve.

Ferdinand greets everyone very cordially and instructs his man to get to the business of drawing Kendall’s blood.

Nealon brags that Topside will soon deliver the original’s genome to Neolution whether they realize it or not, but Delphine still isn’t clear on the “why” of it all. He chuckles at how misguided she is and presents her with a one-time offer to join Neolution. She declines, saying he’s “finished,” and calls the guards, but none come. Nealon’s mouth begins to bleed and he leaps out of his seat at Delphine. As he strangles her on a tabletop, a wriggling something begins to emerge from his mouth and he tries to drop it in her mouth, but Delphine shoots him in the chest just in time. Rattled, Delphine watches as the little wriggler creeps back into Nealon’s body and he tells her that she won’t live till morning before dying.

Ferdinand’s man finishes taking samples of Kendall’s blood and Sarah gets a phone call.

It’s Delphine, who is extracting the little wriggler from Nealon’s bloody mouth. She tells Sarah she can’t give the genetic material to Ferdinand because both Leda and Castor are run by Neolution. She says they’re all pawns and Sarah should tell Ferdinand that Rachel is alive and being held by Neolution. Sarah tells Siobhan and Ferdinand what Delphine has just said which perks up the ears of Ferdinand’s man. Ferdinand grabs Siobhan’s bat and, screaming that he hates Neolutionists with a fiery passion, beats his man to death. Ferdinand prepares to destroy his man and tells the rest that they’re now on the same side. He encourages them to leave and enact their plan to hide Kendall once more, saying they needn’t tell him where she’ll be but he’ll be in touch.

The whole of clone club meets at Bubbles and Alison serves them dinner when she gets the call about the election: she beat Marci Coates by 56 votes!

Delphine shows up at Shay’s place to apologize for terrorizing her. She hands Shay a Dyad business card to give to Cosima and says to tell Cosima that she can tell Shay everything if she wants and she won’t stand in their way then leaves. Shay looks at the Dyad card and the number 324B21 is written on the back.

At the dinner, Helena wonders if mother-sestra will be joining them (no), Cosima and Scott discuss the intricacies of a chimera DNA source, and Felix needs someone to say something understandable (Donnie thinks the beef is the bomb). Everyone toasts to Beth and then to Kira, and Donnie encourages Alison to make a toast. She’s proud of everyone working together to build a family together (and helping her win the election) and thanks Donnie especially for being a great husband (even if he was monitoring her). Cosima gets a call and steps outside.

Delphine needed to meet with Cosima but says she can’t stay, she only wants to make sure that they keep Kendall Malone hidden deep underground. Cosima’s like, “Mrs. S has that kind of thing on lock,” and Delphine is slightly relieved. Cosima tells Delphine that she knows why Delphine did all the sketchy things she did and she’s sorry for blaming her for having to do them and they kiss. Delphine tells Cosima to give her sisters all her love then drives away.

As Delphine pulls into a parking garage and exits the car once more, we see someone approaching her from nearby and she realizes she’s being followed. She stops and puts her bag on the ground, turns around to ask, “What will happen to her?” and is shot from a distance with a silenced bullet. The shooter approaches but we never see who it is before Delphine drops to the ground.

Rachel gets a visitor: Charlotte, the youngest clone. She’s wearing a leg brace on her right leg and tells Rachel that “she” said Rachel was to be her new mom. Who is she? Professor Duncan, Rachel’s mother. Duncan enters the room and welcomes Rachel home, to Rachel’s surprise.

Out in the snow, Kira see two snowmobiles riding toward her and runs to them, reuniting with Sarah. Siobhan and Kendall jump off the other one and Sarah relishes seeing her daughter again.

And that’s all folks!

All images courtesy of BBC America.

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Game of Thrones Season Finale Top Five Recap: Ep. 50, “Mother’s Mercy”

OMG it’s the season finale! That being the case, there are more than just five crazy moments in tonight’s episode, because there just has to be. I will try my best to order them from least to most outrageous but there were many that were equally outrageous.

First up is one of the most touching moments thus far this season. It starts with Jaime, Myrcella and Trystane getting ready to sail back to King’s Landing. Bronn has a flirtatious moment with Tyene one last time and Ellaria kisses Myrcella goodbye.g2 It seems her allegiance is holding firm as she has turned a new leaf. On the boat Jaime hesitantly tries to talk to Myrcella about love and how you can’t really choose who you fall in love with. He is bumbling through it adorably when Myrcella tells him she knows. She knows and is incredibly happy that he is her father. Awwwwww. Finally some honest love for Jaime and he can reciprocate and embrace being a father at long last. Then Myrcella’s nose bleeds and she collapses in his arms, apparently poisoned. Almost forgot what show I was watching. Back on the beach, we see that Ellaria’s nose also begins to bleed, meaning she put poison on her lips before she kissed Myrcella, poisoning them both. She takes the antidote from her necklace and drinks it. If what Tyene told Bronn about the poison is true, Myrcella is certainly dead.

g7Next up we have Sansa and her terrible plight in Winterfell. While Ramsay is away taking care of Stannis, Sansa decides it is up to her to get the message out that she needs help since Reek betrayed her last time. She cautiously makes her way to the broken tower and climbs it. As she is doing this we see Brienne is still diligently watching for the signal when Podrick informs her he has just seen Stannis’ army marching toward Winterfell. Brienne takes one last long look at the tower before heading off. A split second later the candle light appears in the tower window. Sansa succeeded, but was a little too late. Sansa quickly heads back to the castle avoiding Ramsay’s men and bumps right into Miranda and Reek. Miranda has her bow trained on Sansa and is all too happy to inform her that Ramsay has plans for Sansa’s lady parts after he is done getting a couple of heirs from them. Miranda decides Sansa doesn’t need all her other parts to give Ramsay g8what he wants and can help by removing some of them now. As she draws her bow back, Reek grabs her and tosses her off the wall into a courtyard below where it looks like her head shatters on the ground. Sansa is shocked Reek had it in him to protect her (and so am I, honestly) but there is no time to be grateful as Ramsay has just returned. Reek turns to the other side of the wall, climbs up and helps Sansa up, too. They take each other’s hand (whaaat!) and, with a last “do or die” look between them, jump outside of castle wall into what we hope is a much thicker and softer snow bank.
g9Speaking of Stannis, he is indeed marching on Winterfell. However, this is only after learning all his sellswords abandoned them despite the change in climate and warmer night which Melisandre credits to the sacrifice made to the Red God. Oh, and his wife hung herself because of that sacrifice. And then Melisandre took off on horseback. Basically everyone deserted him, but Stannis decides it is still a good idea to continue and march on Winterfell. As he is preparing for the siege, Ramsay and his men surprise him and overtake his army.  It is a pretty short battle and there doesn’t seem to be many that make it through. Stannis takes out two of the last of Ramsay’s calvary but is wounded in the process. Brienne shows up after hearing of the march from Podrick and informs Stannis of who she is. She was Kingsguard to the late Renly Baratheon and she knows it was a shadow with Stannis’ face that killed Renly. Stannis admits to the accusation and Brienne passes judgement on him. She says all the correct words you’re supposed to say when sentencing a person to death, gives Stannis the chance to have last words, which he declines, and kills him in one fluid motion. Like many GoT deaths, we don’t actually see him die per say, but we can definitely hope for it.

Next up is the trouble in Meereen. Daenerys flew off with Drogon and now they have to go find her. Good news is that Grey Worm is up and walking but he feels like a failure for not having been well enough tog5 fight for Daenerys. Daario makes perfect sense finally when he suggests he and Jorah go look for Daenerys while Grey Worm, Missandei, and Tyrion stay and run Meereen. The city will trust and listen to Grey Worm and Missandei and Tyrion is the only one with experience running a city this size so Jorah and Daario head off. Oh, and hey, there’s Varys! He has his “little birds” everywhere and will be sure to be an asset to Tyrion here in Meereen. On to Daenerys and Drogon who is terribly injured and just wants to lie there on top of a hillside and get better even though Daenerys tries to convince him to take her back to Meereen. Being the stubborn teenage dragon he is, Drogon turns his back to her after she attempts to ride him again and decides to take a nap. Frustrated, Daenerys walks off to see where she might be and if there might be some food around. As she is walking though, she is happened upon by an enormous Dothraki khalasaar! Daenerys quickly drops her ring – which I’m sure will come into play next season – before they close in on her. Looks like she’s back at square one.

g1We now check in with Arya and her quest for vengeance. Meryn Trant is actively pursuing his pedophilic and violent ways and has three young girls standing before him. He canes the first and second, satisfied with their ear and yelps of pain, but when he canes the third she makes no noise. She just stands, with her long hair covering her downturned head and takes it. He canes her again, in front this time, and again she just stands. Trant hits her once more on the head actually breaking the cane and again she makes no noise. Presented with this new challenge he sends the other two sobbing girls off and focuses on the third. Trant being the horrific person he is punches the small girl in the gut, knocking her to her knees and the wind out of her. She then stands and pushes her hair aside and stares him in the eye. The girl then tears off her face and we see Arya standing there before she lunges at Trant. She gouges his eyes out with a short knife then repeatedly stabs him in the gut. She takes him from behind, making sure he knows that she is Arya Stark and he was the first on her list for killing Sylvio Forel, and then slits his throat. (Hooray!!!) Arya returns to the House of Black and White and tries to sneak the face back into the g11Hall of Faces. Jaqen and the waif catch her and Jaqen explains that Trant’s life was not hers to take. Because she took a life that was not hers to take they must now pay a life. The Waif grabs and holds Arya as Jaqen opens a bottle the poison from the fountain outside and approaches her. Arya starts to freak out but cannot get loose and watches as Jaqen pours the poison into his own mouth and falls down dead. Arya is let go of and she is angry and upset that her friend is dead. The waif explains he was not her friend as she turns into Jaqen. The man on the floor’s face has changed also and Arya pulls off face after face before finally ending with her own face on the person lying there lifeless. Jaqen explains that the faces are as good as poison to someone who is not yet no one and Arya then begins to lose her vision. Her eyes turn white and she is now blinded.

g10Okay, gather your emotions and prepare. We next come to Cersei, still looking fabulously terrible in her cell as she is once again prodded to “confess.” Looks like she has reached her breaking point, or she is just being Cersei and trying to find the next manipulative way out of this predicament, and agrees to talk to the High Sparrow about the “Mother’s Mercy.” Cersei confesses to fornication with her cousin but still adamantly denies that her children belong to anyone other than Robert (keep the lie alive?). The High Sparrow agrees to allow her to return to the Red Keep for confessing, but she will still undergo a trial for the accusations about her and her children and she also must atone before being set free. Cersei is taken and sprayed down before her hair is completely shorn off and she is taken outside in rags to stand before the entire city. The High Sparrow announces her confession and that she must atone for her lying and fornication. Cersei is then stripped of her rags and she is forced to walk from the temple to the castle naked while a nun walks behind her yelling “shame” and ringing a bell. Cersei is literally going on a “walk of shame.” Now, Cersei is probably one of the more hated characters ever as she is manipulative and horrifically mean to animals and kids and pretty much anyone that’s not one of her kids. This walk that Cersei must endure seems neverending and includes people throwing excrement and food at her, spitting on her, calling her every terrible name in the book, flashing their breasts and penises to her as she walks barefoot, naked, and bleeding through the city. It is the only time Cersei appears truly vulnerable and she breaks down and begins sobbing as she nears the castle gates. I will leave the discussion of whether she “deserves” this up to you. Once inside the castle it is only Qyburn that wraps her up and is sympathetic to her plight. He has a new addition to the Kingsguard and this “mountain” of a man-thing comes in and scoops Cersei up in it’s arms. Qyburn, now a Game of Thrones Dr. Frankenstein, explains the “man’s” silence by saying he has vowed not to speak until all of Cersei’s enemies are dead. As Cersei is being carried off we see that calculating and vengeful look return to Cersei’s eyes.

Lastly, we come to Jon Snow. He returned with the wildlings last week and now has sent them on to the fieldsg3 to be farmers and everyone except Sam hates him. Sam is worried for his and Gilly’s safety and talks Jon into sending him off to train to be a maester. The most adorable and funny conversation this whole episode happens here when Jon and Sam talk about sex. Sam and Gilly leave with little Sam and Davos finally arrives. Melisandre is not far behind to arrive back at Castle Black after having ditched Stannis. Melisandre makes it clear Stannis’ army did not fare well and Davos asks about Shireen. Melisandre’s face gives him his answer without going into the detail that Melisandre is to blame for Shireen’s death, and she disappears without a word. Later, Jon is in his quarters when Olly comes in with great news: one of the wildlings reports having met Jon’s uncle Benjen and says he is still alive. Woo-hoo! I knew there was a reason they brought up Benjen on the “previously on” at the beginning of the show. Jon heads outside to where the wildling is and when the crowd around the wildling parts to let him through he is face to face with a wooden cross with the word “TRAITOR” written across it. Jon is surrounded by Ser Alliser and his other brothers in the Night’s Watch and they are angry. Ser Alliser leans into Jon, driving a dagger into his stomach and declares, “For the Watch.” The others follow suit, each one delivering a stab into Jon’s stomach and proclaiming, “For the Watch.” Finally, Olly comes up and he and Jon stare intently at each other as Jon’s eyes well up and Olly finally jams his own dagger into Jon. Jon collapses as blood pools around him and the scene cuts to black so you can see your own horrified sobbing visage staring back.

Yet again our hearts are of no concern!!! Yet again we do not actually see the life leave him and I cling to the hope that this is not the end of Jon Snow. Then I remember what show I am watching… Any other show and I’d say Jon is certainly not dead, that Melisandre will bring him back or he jumped into Ghost before dying (all purely speculation and HOPE) but with this show, those conjectures are less likely than the probability that he is actually dead.

Let us know what you think will come about in Season 6 (as this season overtook the pacing and plot lines from the most recent book in the series) and your thoughts on each character’s various fates here at the end of this season.

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iZombie GIF Crash Course: A Guide to the First Season

So I’ve been crushing hard on CW’s new dramedy, iZombie. I would love to have been recapping it, but Tuesday night was Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. night and you know how that goes. But, in honor of tonight’s season finale, I wanted to clue you geeks and girls who haven’t been watching in to this very layered take on the zombie trope while also giving you regular viewers what you want: GIF recaps of your favorite moments! (Caution: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!)

iZombie is based on the Chris Roberson Vertigo comic title of the same name but has some notable differences. The CW show features Liv Moore, a recently minted doctor and assistant coroner who has a devastating secret: she’s a zombie.

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But she’s not menacing, I promise! Well, not all the time. See, she does need brains to survive, but she’s not out there killing people to get them. Instead, she uses her sweet work hookup to nab some brains from the bodies who pass through the morgue.

Her boss, Ravi Chakrabarti, is devastatingly handsome figured her out immediately and decided to help her continue to pass for human.

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He also helped convince Detective Clive Babineaux that Liv is a psychic when, in reality, she gets flashes of memories and vicariously adopts character traits from the owners of the brains she chows down on.

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Now she and Babineaux solve crimes together! Each week, Liv eats more brains and her changeable behavior is a constant source of comedy. Observe:

Stoner Liv

Drunk Radio Host Liv

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Super Upbeat High School Cheerleader Liv

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And on. Meanwhile, Liv’s ex-fiancee, Major Lilywhite (yes, that’s really his name!), still wants to be with her and is also really, really, ridiculously good looking. He and Ravi move in together and cultivate a most-excellent bromance.

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The season really got going when Major began investigating the disappearances of several homeless teens as Liv and Clive delve into suspicious deaths surrounding energy drink manufacturers, Max Rager. Not to mention the other zombies in town! Blaine is the first one Liv meets – and he’s also the one who made her. Awkward!

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Blaine has also figured out a way to make money as a zombie: he runs ill-gotten brains through his restaurant, Meat Cute. (Yeah, it’s adorably punny.) As Major investigates the missing teens, he finds a connection to Blaine’s brain courier service and checks himself into a psychological facility! I mean, finding a cooler full of brains would give me weird ideas, too.

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Yes, just when you think you’ve got this show pegged, it does something wholly awesome with the characters. Like Ravi, who thought he was going to go all undead from a zombie rat bite. And Liv’s brother applying for a job at Meat Cute.

Not to mention last week’s explosive episode! Liv’s best friend and roommate, Peyton is treated to something I thought she’d be the last to see: Liv in full-on zombie mode fighting another zombie to the death in their house.

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And Major discovers the existence of zombies and vows to kill ’em all.

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Then he gets kidnapped!

Oh, my heart. I don’t know if I can handle tonight’s finale. I just hope Major doesn’t die. #RaJorfolyfe

Tune in to the season finale of iZombie tonight and let us know what you think! 

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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: S7 E14

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the Season 7 finale! It begins with a re-introduction of all of the Queens, who each walk the runway in some fabulous outfits. Of course Katya & Kennedy Davenport are met with huge applause. Is anyone surprised by this?

When RuPaul comes out, lip syncing to her song “The Realness” (because obviously), she lets the audience know that she’s having a hard time deciding who to crown the winner, so each of the final Queens must do a final lip sync to a song created just for them.

First up, Ginger Minj, who lip syncs to a song about not being able to pray the gay away. You gotta hand it to Ginger: she’s quite the performer, which the judges point out when she finishes her performance. She sits down with RuPaul for a little interview before a clip package of all of her fans is played. One of the videos is from Ginger’s dad and let the tears flow! The two haven’t had much of a relationship so for Ginger to see her dad support her obviously means a lot. THE FEELS!

Can I also quickly mention that JOHN WATERS supports Ginger?! Okay, that’s all.

rupaul final 3Pearl’s song is about being a sleepwalker and it’s pretty darn boring. I get the irony but yikes! But the judges praise Pearl’s “awakening” during the competition. She admits that the fear of looking stupid held her back, but she finally just let go.

Aside from Pearl’s friends and family clip montage, they did an additional montage called “The Curse of Pearl,” which showcased the conspiracy of any Queen that crosses Pearl getting eliminated during that same episode. It’s actually kind of funny, and scary accurate!

And then there’s Violet Chachki, who performs a song about having too many daddies and not enough time. Her act is very Bettie Page-esque, with a striptease thrown in for good measure. Is it weird that I’m oddly jealous of Violet’s stripping skills when I have none? The judges love Violet’s sense of fashion and how she’s one of the few Queens that actually sews! They play her clip montage and alas, it’s pretty unemotional, but her friends and family are pretty funny.

Before the winner is announced, Ru spends some time talking to the eliminated Queens. Some highlights from the segment include:

Tempest DuJour in her finest attire
Tempest DuJour in her finest attire

– Jasmine Marsters receiving some positive words from her role model, Patti LaBelle. It’s a sweet moment concocted by Ru to counterbalance all of the negativity Jasmine has faced on social media.

– Apparently, Kandy Ho lived in Connecticut until she was ten before moving to Puerto Rico.

– Jaidynn Diore Fierce is out and proud and her mom loves her for it.

– Miss Fame brings a chicken out on stage, but doesn’t even speak chicken. I feel cheated!

– Katya tells Ru she wanted to tackle her, stuff her wig into her mouth & have Ru pee on her. So there was that…amazingness.

– Ru tells everyone to go see Kennedy Davenport live, which is kind of a big deal.

Next up, the Miss Congeniality Award! Last year’s winner, Ben de la Creme, comes out in a costume a la “Ginger/Sasha conjoined twins at the boob” with Michelle Visage and announces KATYA as the winner! Like anyone had any doubts. Katya wins a gold version of the Ru statue and, more importantly, cash.

Katya werking it at the RuPaul's Drag Race finale
Katya werking it at the RuPaul’s Drag Race finale

Then it’s time to announce RuPaul’s Drag Race Superstar for Season 7. Last year’s winner Bianca Del Rio – who is serving living statue realness – comes out to help crown the winner.

As is customary, Ru draws out the announcement, and at one point coughs, pauses, and asks for Katya. The audience, three remaining Queens AND Katya all freak out. But phooey, it was just a joke and all Ru wants is some water from Katya. The finalists are relieved. I am not.

And the winner is…VIOLET! With crown on head and scepter in hand, Violet does one final runway walk, claiming her win.

And there you have it folks! Till next time, always remember, the struggle is real so keep it fierce!

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Face Off: EP 14: The Dream Team

face1The season finale of Face Off is here!! I admit that I am both excited and saddened by this as I look forward to seeing these talented artists express their creativity week after week. For this finale, they will be keeping with tradition of giving the artists a huge workload and so have brough back every contestant this season to help them with their creations. Each artist will be responsible for making four different characters, but first, they must choose their teams.  Darla chooses to bring along Rob, Anthony, Stephanie, and Daniel. Logan picks Julian, Ben, Gregory, and Will. And Emily selects Adam, Jaime, Regina, and Kelly. Once the teams are decided, Mckenzie lets them know that is all the information they will be getting tonight and must wait until tomorrow to learn about their inspirations.

Back at the house they each get to video conference with their loved ones. This is always such a nice pick-me-up for the artists who must be feeling so emotionally drained by now and it helps reignite the fires inside them. Emily has a nice conversation with her parents, Darla gets to see her boyfriend again in hers and Logan gets to talk to his wife.logan1

The next morning they walk into the lab to see it now is adorned with a red carpet, tv monitors,and a wall full of word magnets. Mckenzie is waiting for them and begins talking about a few hit movie franchises that all have one thing in common: a team of characters who come together for a singular purpose. This is to be their inspiration. The theme of their team will come from the tv monitors and it starts with Emily picking one that gives her post-apocalyptic. Logan chooses next and gets Scifi, and finally, Darla takes the remaining one and happily accepts Fantasy.

The next item up are the word magnets and they each must grab as many words as the can to create the title to their new movie franchise. They frantically scramble to gather the words to be relay their theme and soon have a working title. For Emily, Paradise Reckoning conveys the post-apocalyptic world she is looking to create. Darla has found enough words to make a very fitting fantasy title of The Spirits of Eden. Logan decides to keep it simple and go with The Fortress until he can solidify his concepts more. Their last bit of info before heading off to the lab is that their teams will be on display at Universal Studios Hollywood for a public viewing where those in attendance will also be voting for their favorite.emily1

For the design phase Logan and his teammates get to work on his Scifi inspired creations. He wants to use the inspiration from the Isle of Doctor Moreau to create animals that were experimented on and have developed into human-like creatures that take over the spaceship the are on and cruise the galaxies. He will be making an iguana commander, an armadillo weapons expert, a skunk mechanic and a hammerhead assassin.

Each of Darla’s characters will be inspired by the four basic elements of earth, wind, fire and water. She wants to create a story of how they must each protect the Garden of Eden from evil after Adam and Eve have been banished from it. Her wind element will be a female satyr who not only plays the pipes, but is herself a wind instrument. For her water guardian she did not want to make the typical mermaid and so opts to create a merman instead who is strong and powerful. For her fire spirit she will create a stone guardian with fire elements which looks a little like a living torch. For earth Rob helps her come up with a character that is a large but beautiful worm that is wrapped around a tree.darla1

Emily decides to use post-apocalyptic materials as her inspiration. She has a man that was in a terrible car accident who fuses with the glass from it and so is covered in large glass shards. The metal man had a bomb explode near him which burned part 0f his head and fused metal into his body. Next she designs a wood character that is covered in broken pieces of a wooden pallet, and lastly she has a beautiful woman that become fused with leather and is continually adding more to herself. Along with this being inspired by post-apocalyptic materials, she also wants to play on the Wizard of Oz characters with her tin man, scarecrow, lion and Dorothy.

When the coaches arrive Rayce is incredibly impressed with what Logan has and really feels like he could win this. Laura likes everything her teams have going other than Darla’s earth spirit worm. With a little coaching Darla agrees it needs to be changed and decides to go with an earth goddess with vines and a tree trunk dress. During the 4 days of lab work there are only a couple of hiccups, including Darla’s redesign, Emily’s inability to math, and Logan needing to keep his fabricator on task better. Otherwise, it has been very smooth sailing though time still goes by far too quickly.

Finally they take their teams to Universal Studios where they each have fitting backgrounds to be displayedface2 against. They’re all cohesive and beautiful and the public love all of them. When all the votes are tallied though, they loved Darla’s a little more than the others. Glenn, Ve, and Neville have nothing but wonderful things to say about each character and have an incredibly hard time ahead of them to pick a winner. When the winner is finally revealed it seems the judges agreed with the public and awarded Darla with the win. With Darla’s win, Laura now is the first ever two-time champion. Darla also wins a trip to a Krylon studio, a new car, $100,000 and the title of Face Off Champion! Perhaps the best news of the night comes after credits start rolling in that Face Off returns in July!!face3

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Man Seeking Woman Recap: Ep. 110, “Scepter”

As Mike accompanies Josh through a frozen tundra to meet the last woman on Earth that Josh hasn’t tried to date, they approach Unkluk’tu. She is a tundra native and doesn’t quite understand boxes of chocolates…or English. But she does love music, which makes her dateable to Josh. Unfortunately, she thinks he’s very nice but just wants to remain friends.

Back at his apartment, Josh is sulking while Mike plays video games and suddenly get a phone call from Maggie. She wants to meet up and he thinks they’re getting back together, of course. They meet for lunch and she announces that she and Graham – the boyfriend we met during the destination wedding – are getting married and Josh is shot through the heart. He tries to make small talk about the wedding but his heart falls out, sprays blood all over Maggie, and a waiter comes by to ask if he needs an ambulance. The EMTs arrive and take Josh out of the restaurant on a stretcher while the rest of the patrons record and stare at him, and we discover that Maggie plans to be wholly original by using Oasis’ “Wonderwall” for the first dance at her wedding.

A pack of 2-minute Time Travel pills and some boner pills for my friend.

While he and Mike visit a convenience store, Josh comes to the conclusion that if he hadn’t given Maggie carnations they wouldn’t have had that argument and might still be together (seems like solid logic). Mike is preoccupied with boner pills, drawing Josh’s attention to some cheap-y 2-minute Time Travel pills for $2.50. The clerk warns Josh that use may cause irreparable damage to the space-time continuum. Josh takes the pill and goes back in time.

He goes back in time and accosts his past self. He runs up to himself, screaming about not buying those ill-advised carnations while Past!Josh can only scream in terror (how would you react if you ran up to yourself?!). With a final warning against the carnations, Present!Josh is whisked back to the present in the convenience store. Mike has taken the boner pills and has a huge one…but also liver problems. Maggie walks up to Josh and tells Mike that he shouldn’t have taken them like she said. Josh is stunned; his plan worked! He and Maggie are still together and still in love.

Immediately they go home to have sex because he needs to make up for lost time. Post-nooky, Josh suggests dinner before realizing he doesn’t have enough money to treat Maggie to sushi like he promised. She’s not enthused about his falafel place/dry cleaners alternative, so he takes another 2-minute Time Travel pill and visits himself as a stoner college student hanging out with Mike. Naked Present!Josh appears in Older Past!Josh’s dorm room and screams at him in the moment he decided to be a philosophy major.

Present!Josh: Don’t major in philosophy! Major in economics! You’ll be so much better off, I promise!

Back in the present, Josh and Maggie have a sushi dinner and he has gobs of money in his wallet. Maggie seems happy and admires some guys’ beards, so naturally Josh goes back in time to tell Child!Josh to go against the grain (ha, see what I did there?) and grow distinctive facial hair instead of shaving every day. In the present once more, Josh is at the altar looking like a clean cut Guy Fawkes and marries Maggie.

Josh is excited because his life is finally perfect and he didn’t even screw up the space-time continuum. Except for the hover crafts and general oppression being offered by some group called Trackanon, which plans to kill all. Josh visits the convenience store where he bought the time travel pills and gushes to the clerk about how perfect his life is now, only the clerk has a Kano-style metal plate on the upper right side of his face now. :(

Outside, Trackanon has turned the world into a police state, but Josh and Maggie are leading a happy, well-furnished life. Except his new personality doesn’t like video game magazines anymore, and his favorite show is Meet the Press. Alarmed, Josh goes to visit Mike who is lubing up from head to toe: he’s now working as a sex slave for Trackanon and needs help limbering up. He goes to see his sister Liz who has become a militant leader in her office building. She thought he and Maggie were loyal to Trackanon, and Josh begins a bit of self-reflection.

Josh: I am in golf clubs, are you serious? Wh-what is this? I look like d’Artangnan, I love Meet the Press? Have I really changed that much?
Liz: No, you still have your distinctive, Josh facial hair. Hey, listen, the important thing is you’re happy.

Except Josh is realizing that he isn’t happy and goes home to tell Maggie. She’s upset that he’s now telling her that he’s not being himself and he thinks he can fix it by taking another 2-minute Time Travel pill…only he’s run out. He realizes that he needs to get divorced but they can’t.

Maggie: We can’t get divorced, you idiot! Trackanon is Catholic! We’re married for the rest of your life! Hail Trackanon.

Josh visits Mike to try to meet the head honchos in Trackanon by becoming a sex slave. Mike brings him to a one-eyed creature with lots of folds who is Trackanon. Trackanon wants Mike and Josh to do sexy dances and then pleasure him, but as he approaches, Josh steals his scepter, tells Trackanon that he shouldn’t even exist there, and stabs him in the eye (to Mike’s utter dismay).

I’m not supposed to have facial hair, Maggie! It’s not personal!

Outside, the revolution against Trackanon has spilled into the streets and everyone – including Josh’s parents – know he is the one who killed Trackanon. Josh shaves his beard and goes with Maggie to get a divorce right away and she says he ruined her life. To make up for it, he takes her to meet Graham, the guy she was meant to marry and realizes that he’s finally, actually, over Maggie. But Mike isn’t ready to date just yet; he’s just gotten out of a thing and it’s still a little raw. (Zing!)

The Question: Has season 2 been greenlit yet?

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