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Surviving the Summer Break for ‘Once Upon a Time’ Fans – Eating Our Feelings Looking at Past Roles

We’re getting closer to the Season 5 premiere of Once Upon a Time but we’re still a month and a half away! I feel like we’ve been looking forward for most of our summer journey together as Oncers, desperate for tastes here and there of things to come. This week we’re going to go back in time with the help of the Internet Movie Database to see what some of our beloved stars were doing before they wound up in the Enchanted Forest. Let it be known! Thar be SPOILERS ahead!

Ginnifer Goodwin – Snow White

Most Snow White role: Margene Heffman, third sister-wife and entrepreneur on HBO’s polygamous drama Big Love from 2006-2011.
https://thecantedangle.wordpress.com/tag/margene-heffman/
I’m not saying Snow White was practicing polyandry when she lived with the Dwarves, but Margene and Snow do have a lot in common. They are bright, spirited, loving mother-types to many, and both have a closet full of skeletons no one saw coming.

Least Snow White role: Maya in Comedy Central’s first original movie Porn ‘n Chicken in 2002. I couldn’t find a clip of her as Maya, so I’m just basing my assumption off the fact that what I did find searching for “Porn ‘n Chicken” didn’t really say “motherly fairy tale princess” to me. And, while we can’t stop you from doing it, we don’t want to tell our readers to Google “porn and chicken,” so here’s a clip of Goodwin on Seth Myers talking about how her son is Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones.

Videogame roll: Roll from Mega Man. Though not a robot that we know of, she’s sweet, protective, and clever. She’s also good with a broom!

 

Jennifer Morrison – Emma Swan

Most motherly role: As Winona Kirk, in 2009’s Star Trek, Morrison gave birth to yet another little boy who was destined for more than his humble beginnings, who grew up without a proper father, and who went on to strange new lands to defeat creepy villains.

Least motherly role: Zoey Pierson from How I Met Your Mother.


Not only does she not become Ted’s future wife or mother to his children, but she’s likened to Cinderella’s evil step-mother when it’s revealed that her step-daughter hates her.

Bakery roll: Cinnamon roll. The Charming family quirk of liking cinnamon on their hot chocolate is endearing, and Emma has proven she’s very layered. It’s worth getting past her hard outer layers to reach her soft and warm heart.

 

Lana Parrilla – Regina

Most regal role: Trina Decker from CBS’s Swingtown.

Though an airline stewardess, Trina lived a very affluent life with lots of time for extracurricular activities.

Least regal role:  Janet Grafton from several 2004 episodes of NYPD Blue.  Nothing says blue collar like patrolling a beat in your home burrough. Throw in a failed marriage and this show has Parrilla in her realist role.

Sushi roll: The “Sexy Roll.” Good or evil, fancy or down to earth, Parrilla is always alluring. And it’s not just her physical assets that make her so. Parrilla’s acting chops have only gotten more honed, making her versatile and in regal command of her stage.

 

Josh Dallas – Prince Charming

Most mighty and heroic role: Fandral, Thor’s friend and brother in arms from 2011’s Thor is one-third of the Warriors Three and is as princely and charming as Dallas’s OUaT counterpart. Sadly many of Dallas’s scenes in Thor were deleted and he was unable to reprise his role in Thor: The Dark World because of scheduling conflicts filming OUaT.

Least mighty or heroic role: Node #2 in a 2008 episode of Doctor Who called “The Silence in the Library.”

Dallas played the face of Mark Chambers, a man who donated his face to the library to be a pleasing visual representation most likely to appear pleasing to the user, in this case Donna Noble. Skip to about the 10 minute mark to facetime with Dallas.

Lunch roll: The hero roll. From lunchtime staple to party platter necessity, the hero roll is loved by all. Bonus, sometimes the nicer ones come with a little decorative sword!

 

Robert Carlyle – Rumpelstiltskin

Highest grossing role: Portraying Gaz in 1997’s The Full Monty, this was Carlyle’s, and the UK’s, highest grossing film to date, raking in $45,950,122 after a budget of only $3,500,000. Please enjoy this clip of Rumpelstiltskin embarrassing Baelfire.

Lowest grossing role: Funny enough, Carlyle also starred in a film titled Once Upon a Time in the Midlands about a petty thief who tries to get his babymama back after a decade. It had a budget of $3,041,025 but only made about $172,564. That’s right, you did the math in your head correctly. That’s about 5%. This may or may not have been a student film, I’m not sure.  See if you can sit through the trailer longer than I could.

Totally not gross roll: Scottish sausage roll. I really don’t feel I should have to explain this one. Have you had one of these? Make them and eat them with no apologies to your heart, waistline, or doctor.

 

Colin O’Donoghue – Killian Jones

Best dressed role: Duke Philip of Bavaria from 2009’s The Tudors is arguably the most opulently dressed character O’Donoghue’s played. It’s a far cry from his pirate garb, which, while practical, is undeniably the uniform of a rogue and scoundrel. Watch his doomed romance with Mary Tudor, as played by OUaT’s Sarah Bolger, here.

Least dressed role: Lead gent in Christina Perri’s music video for The Words, O’Donoghue doesn’t just appear shirtless, but also takes a pensive bath before bed.

It’s crucial to the plot, I tell you! Fun fact, Perri dedicated The Words to Hook and Emma’s romance, making her the ultimate fanvid creator.

Protip Roll: Rolling your shirts to fit more of them in your luggage.

“Not that Colin O’Donoghue needs more shirts.”

the majority of the fangirl community

Giancarlo Esposito – Sidney Glass

Giancarlo has the distinguished honor of having what I think is undeniably the most international Wikipedia introduction ever:

Giancarlo Giuseppe Alessandro Esposito (born April 26, 1958) is a Danish-born American actor, director, and producer of African-Italian descent.

Most notable role: Gus Fring, Walter White’s boss and haunted sociopath from Breaking Bad, 2009-2011. Here he is imparting his wisdom, “a man provides.”

Surprising role: Mickey, the camp counselor at Camp Echo Rock in Season 14 of Sesame Street.


Check out his scenes here, and especially enjoy the one where Big Bird thinks he’s getting mugged by the future meth kingpin of the Southwest.

Edible roll: A chocolate Danish. I won’t lie; I made myself laugh at that one.
All this talk about sushi and danish have left me hungry, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch Season 4 again and eat my feelings.

What are some former roles from OUaT stars that you think are interesting? Tell us in the comments below!

 


Streiber, Art. BIG LOVE Season 2: Ginnifer Goodwin. Digital image. N.p., 15 Aug. 2007. Web. 2 August 2015.
CBS. How I Met Your Mother. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.

CBS. Swingtown. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
BBC. Doctor Who: Josh Dallas. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
Fox Searchlight. Robert Carlyle OBE. Digital image. N.p. Web. 2 August 2015.
Perri, Christina. “The Words.” Head or Heart. Atlantic Records, 2014. Music Video.
PBS. GiancarloEspositoBigBirdRusty. Digital image. N.p. 4 September, 2014. Web. 2 August 2015. 
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The #DarkSwan Leads ‘Once Upon a Time’ Panel at Comic-Con

My editor had to gently remind me more than once this weekend that we were reporting on all of Comic-Con, and not just on Once Upon a Time. But the latter is all that’s been on my mind.

I’m a well-rounded and cultured geek, but my heart really belongs to Once and it yearns for any scrap of news about it. This weekend did not disappoint.

While I did not have the personal honor of standing in line for four hours, snacking on hastily made-in-my-motel-room peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and readjusting my cosplay headpiece, I did get to delve into the up-to-the-minute news as it splashed across the Twittersphere: The Dark Swan is coming!

Property of ABC, via Twitter

Let’s not beat around the beanstalk. Here’s the video, courtesy of ABC:

Ok, I have a lot of questions about this trailer:

  • Why is Emma in Rumple’s old cell? How did she get back to the Enchanted Forest? Has time been rewritten?
  • Who caught her and how?
  • Why did Emma crush the guard’s heart when she could have used it to control him and either release her or do her bidding? Is Emma there of her own accord?
  • Why does everyone always get an evil makeover when they go bad? How does magic know to put you in black leather and slick your hair back? Where does one get lipstick in a dungeon?
  • Are… are those Rihanna’s rings?

Fan enthusiasm is running high, and cosplay is already happening!

Screenshot 2015-07-11 at 3.46.01 PM

And while there’s a ton of love for the 5th season of Once, there is also trepidation:

https://twitter.com/hrh_annalisa

https://twitter.com/JCrosby74

Colin O’Donoghue, who plays Captain Hook, had this to add at the cast’s panel earlier today:

“He found love with Emma, so he’s desperately trying to hold onto that, be the better man and keep her heart safe. But he has been a villain and his girlfriend’s nasty now… in a good way. He really struggled with staying on the right path, so it’ll be interesting to see where he goes now.”

To which series creator Edward Kitsis added:

Screenshot 2015-07-11 at 3.42.55 PM

Of course there are the other loose ends season 4 left us, like Rumple’s fate, Zelena and Robin’s unborn baby, and Henry’s status as the Author. According to the panel, we do know that Rumple may no longer be the Dark One, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still a tricky deal maker. You don’t do a job for nearly 300 years and just forget how its done because you got fired.

tumblr_m1fs2682He1qmz4rgo1_r1_400
Hmm… Maybe he might need a refresher course…

*nervous fidgeting* Sorry, I just can’t stop thinking about what this all will mean for Emma and how it will affect her whole life going forward. We’ve seen just how twisted Once villains can become if left too long in the dark side. Will Emma be able to overcome ripping out an innocent man’s heart? And what else has she done since we last saw her on the streets of Storybrooke?

No matter what new tidbits and revelations come, we do know one thing for sure:

Girl, I feel ya!

You can follow all the #OUAT Twitter action by using #DarkSwan and, of course, #OnceUponATime.

Did you see the panel for yourself?  What do you think of the Dark Swan’s arrival? And where are Emm’s eyebrows??

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Once Upon a Time Screencap Recap Special! Ep. 421, “Mother”

Welcome to a very special recap of Once Upon a Time! This week we’re going to try something a little different, and we hope you like it.


 

Regina’s carriage pulls up to an “unauthorized” wedding party on her meadow.

a
This is what happens when you don’t get permits.

At Daniel’s grave, Regina encounters Cora.

Cue the title card featuring a dragon.
Cue the title card featuring a dragon.

Robin and Regina share a drink in a bar in New York.

That awkward moment when you have to discuss how your ex-girlfriend’s half-sister has been masquerading as your long-lost wife.
That awkward moment when you have to discuss how your ex-girlfriend’s vengeful half-sister has been masquerading as your long-lost wife.

I’d like to know how they extricated themselves from the apartment after Zelena dropped that bomb on everyone last week. What do you even say? “Okay, well, you killed my wife and now your preggers. I need a drink and I’m taking my old girlfriend, and when we get back, we are having a long conversation about consent, missy!”

Regina suggests using a forgetting potion on Roland to keep him from the trauma of dealing of losing his mother a second time, and Robin agrees. Yeah, I can’t see this coming back to bite them in the butt in any way. Regina apologizes because she realizes that Zelena’s batty plan was all about ensuring Regina never got her happy ending. But Robin suggests maybe he and Regina could still have a chance.

This is the face of a man who hasn’t had the benefit of learning life lessons from the Jerry Springer Show
This is the face of a man who hasn’t had the benefit of learning life lessons from the Jerry Springer Show.

Robin affirms Regina’s frustration, but asks what they should do now.

Back in namesake Neal’s old apartment, Emma and Lily have a conversation about Neal while Zelena just… hangs out being kinda unemployed.

Guys, I’ll totally catch up on rent next month. Oh, hey, I’m drinking the last Nescafe.
Guys, I’ll totally catch up on rent next month. Oh, hey, I’m drinking the last Nescafe.

Please click on the above image and zoom in on Zelena, because wow.

Emma walks over to punch Zelena’s jerk face, probably, but the Witch pretends to feel the baby kick, which is totally bull because it’s only been about 18 minutes since she and Robin last tangoed in Paris.

Side note, I kinda wish Emma had turned evil because I would have been okay with her punching an expectant mother in the ear, Fight Club style.

Regina and Robin enter and just take charge, saying they’re all going back to Storybrooke, even Zelena. Someone please tell me how they are planning on fitting five adults and a small child in Emma’s Bug?

Back in beautiful Storybrooke, Mr. Gold is having breakfast with the Author, Isaac, who bemoans a bagel’s mere existence. He’s really picky for a guy who came from a land where squirrel was a regular entree.

Killian enters and butt-shoves Isaac over in his seat.

Killian is at a near-90 degree angle. He’s giving it one and a half cheek shove, minimum.
Killian is at a near-90 degree angle. He’s giving it a one and a half cheek shove, minimum.

Killian mocks Gold for being toothless now that any evil doings will char his already weakened heart. He taunts him further by letting him know Emma is on her way home and is still not evil. He then proceeds to tempt fate like a fool poking a bear with a honey-covered stick as he rubs the likelihood of his own happy ending in Gold’s face. Smug as ever, he smirks his way out the door while Isaac brings up the touchy subject of Gold’s ever-failing heart. He reminds Gold they need Emma’s dark blood for the magic ink to be of any use to them. “No dark Savior, no ink,” Isaac says, which I think is a line from Harry Potter and the Missing School Supplies? Gold says there’s always a loophole, and, as he stumbles upon standing to walk, wooshes himself and Isaac away in a cloud of purple smoke.

The yellow Bug, trailed by a swank mini van, pulls into town. Regina, Robin, and Roland have smartly ridden without Zelena’s company. How Emma managed to deal with the Witch in her backseat for seven hours is beyond me.

Nah, it wasn’t 7 hours. It was more like 54.
Nah, it wasn’t seven hours. It was more like 54.

Mary Margaret, David, Henry and Killian rush to meet Emma while Maleficent, though eager to meet Lily, hangs back.

This is my least evil jacket. Do you think she’ll like it?
This is my least evil jacket. Do you think she’ll like it?

Emma hugs Henry, then shares an extra long “I’m so glad you’re not evil” embrace with Killian.

Haha, wow, you missed each other. Ok… Any minute now. Hey… Hey… Hey, can we hug our daughter? *achem*
Haha, wow, you missed each other. Okay… Any minute now. Hey… Hey… Hey, can we hug our daughter? *achem*

Emma hella snubs Mary Margaret’s attempts at a hug, and it’s painful enough that I didn’t screencap it, because ouch.

As Lily exists the car, Emma steers her away from Mary Margaret and David and over to Mal. As Emma introduces them, Mal starts to tear up.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I’m your mother, come hug me maybe?
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I’m your mother, come hug me maybe? (Please?)

Back in the Enchanted Forest at Daniel’s grave, Regina confronts her mother. Cora says she escaped her Looking Glass prison by “borrowing a rabbit,” which might also implying skinning and cooking it, to be honest. Cora says she’s back to help Regina find love, which makes Regina snap a little inside.

HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON ----- DANIEL!
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON DANIEL!

Cora tells Regina she met Tinkerbell in her travels, and Tink told her of Regina’s fated love. She claims she wants to help Regina find this man as her daughter was not suited for a loveless marriage like she was. Regina, who could have picked fifty-eleven better, more clever things to say, replies “I’ll believe it when I see it.” What is it with everyone on this show tempting fate today?

Back in Storybrooke we return to a place we haven’t been to in ages: the psych ward of the hospital, overseen by “the Stern Nurse,” as some call her.

Regina escorts Zelena down to a padded cell and fills in a huge plot hole along the way. She assures her half-sister that her magic will be kept in check by the cuff she’s wearing, the same cuff, I’m assuming, that Pan created and used on Rumple last season. Unfortunately no one bothers to explain how anyone got it ON Zelena, but that’s a rant we’ll save for the off-season.

This perfect temporary home also boasts an OB upstairs, Regina informs. Though, I thought Dr. Whale was a surgeon, but what the heck ever, right? Zelena is all kinds of confident and Regina dares her to tell her why that’s so. Zelena says that even after she has the baby, Regina will never lay a hand on her because she doesn’t want to be known as the one who killed Robin’s child’s mother’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate. But without breaking her smile, Regina says Zelena’s underestimated her.

I will absolutely end you, you can of mixed nuts.
“I will absolutely end you, you can of mixed nuts.”

Regina seals the door with probably anything except blood magic. Not gonna make that mistake four times.

 Y’all do not pay me enough for this nonsense.
“Y’all do not pay me enough for this nonsense.”

*shuffles papers*

In the pawn shop, Gold instructs Isaac to gather certain books for him, then goes into the back room to very nearly die.

I’m comin’, Elizabeth!
I’m comin’, Elizabeth!

He pulls out his heart, as one does, and sees that it has the weakest flicker of red buried deep inside the blackness.

Who would have thought that 300+ years of killing people on a whim would have this kind of effect on my soul?
Who would have thought that 300+ years of killing people on a whim would have this kind of effect on my soul?

After hearing the doorbell tinkle, Gold stumbles out to meet a concerned, but not that concerned, Regina, who has come for the Author. Procuring him was her plan after all and she intends to continue on with it. She notes Gold’s weakened state and guesses his heart is finally giving out. Gold warns that while the Dark One cannot die, Rumplestiltskin can. And he alludes to the idea that Rumple is the only one keeping the Dark One in check.

Regina says that, by definition, her Happy Ending will make her *happy,* so she couldn’t care less what happens to Rumple, though a shot of the Author’s face belies the truth behind this logic. Gold suggests working together, and then holds the magic quill up as though that’s a good idea. Regina just yoinks it from him,

*YOINK!*
*YOINK!*

grabs Isaac’s hand, and adioses.

¡Adios!
¡Adios!

Adioses is a verb, right?

Cora enters a tavern and the Sheriff of Rottingham Nottingham is instantly drawn to her because he’s gross. Cora is looking for a man with a lion tattoo on his wrist, and the Sheriff scoffs, saying that, “Robin Hood is a sanctimonious blowhard who thinks he’s so great, myeh myeh myeh, and I’m totally not talking about myself…” Cora says her daughter has her heart set on him, and despite his new marriage, wives can be gotten rid of. This amuses the Sheriff and he does some kind of move, which I’m sure he thinks is manly, but looks like a wilting plant.

What is this move he’s doing? It’s like awkwardly seductive, but not actually seductive.
What is this move he’s doing? It’s like awkwardly seductive, but not actually seductive.

He offers to help Cora for a price, and because she’s evil, she thinks this is GREAT.

Regina interrogates Isaac in her crypt, and he informs her that Emma’s darkest potential has to charge the ink, otherwise it’s a no-go. *achem* Can we all just look at that phrase, and I quote, “darkest potential” for a moment? Where…or who…do you think that is?

"You’re a mess, so you’re really fun to write.” And that is the cornerstone of all fanfic ever.
“You’re a mess, so you’re really fun to write.” – The cornerstone of all fanfic ever.

Regina shows Isaac the crumpled page of her and Robin kissing, and Isaac says he did write this story, but it was experimental for another book he never wrote. He suggests “something” is looking out for Regina, and says he’d be happy to write anything for her if they only had the ink.

Cue Lily eating at Granny’s while Maleficent tries to contain herself over how beautiful her daughter is. All Lily cares about, though, is getting revenge on Snow White and Prince Charming. Mal doesn’t want to waste time on revenge and only wants to look forward but Lily calls her mother a pushover for letting Snow and Charming do what they’ve done and get away with it. As Lily tries to leave, Mal warns her that if she crosses the town line she won’t be able to get back in, nor can Mal herself cross it without turning back into dust. Lily straight up does not care and bolts.

 "What part of “Mother-Daughter mani-pedi day do you not understand!?”
“What part of “Mother-Daughter mani-pedi day do you not understand!?”

Mal heads to Mary Margaret’s and David’s apartment for help getting Lily to stay because she’s never dealt with a temperamental adult daughter, and they instantly agree to assist.

Operation: Appease my guilty conscience! It's brilliant, David!
Operation: Appease my guilty conscience! It’s brilliant, David!

David says Lily is acting a lot like Emma did when she first came to Storybrooke. Mary Margaret sees Lily is building up walls to avoid getting hurt.

Meanwhile, Regina engages Lily as Lily awaits a bus that is unlikely to come given Storybrooke’s logistical limitations.

In the Evil Queen’s castle, Cora arrives and surprises her formerly widowed husband. After rudely dismissing him, Cora announces to Regina that her dream man is on his way. She turns her daughters black dress into cloudy blue and white.

My favorite dress from back before you killed the love of my life?! Thanks, Mommy!
My favorite dress from back before you killed the love of my life?! Thanks, Mommy!

Cora introduces Regina to “the man with the lion tattoo,” but it is sadly revealed to be the gross Sheriff of Rottingham Nottingham. Regina takes him to her favorite tree and tells him of her stable boy romance, at which the Sheriff scoffs. All kinds of other creepy words and deeds are said and done, but they can all be summed up here:

 I think Jezebel did an article on this kind of thing.
I think Jezebel did an article on this kind of thing.

But Regina, who is too smart for this fool, does some magic up on that tattoo and finds it to be a fake.

Tell me more about how “your guy” can shade so well the colors “come to life.”
Tell me more about how “your guy” can shade so well the colors “come to life.”

The Sheriff rolls over on Mommy Dearest in .3 seconds, adding that Cora wanted Regina to have a child, but he doesn’t know why.

Back at the bus stop, Regina doesn’t get anywhere talking with Lily, so she simply takes the blood she needs to make the ink work, slicing Lily’s hand at the peak of her pissed off-ness to procure it.

Mal rides along with Mary Margaret and David as they search for Lily. Unfortunately they get this instead:

Lily! Eat a Snickers! Every time you get hungry you turn into a raging hell-beast!
Lily! Eat a Snickers! Every time you get hungry you turn into a raging hell-beast!

As the Evil Queen contemplates the potion in her hand, Regina shows Cora that she’s sent the Sheriff to the dungeons because of their deception. Cora insists that Regina’s soulmate is a married sap, but Regina knows that Cora was never really interested in her happiness.

Regina visits Zelena in her padded cell and introduces her to the Author, saying that Zelena’s been nothing more than a supporting player this whole time. As the Author looks on, the women verbally spar. Regina says she’s got the perfect ending for her “Sis.”

Among scattered, abandoned lobster traps (the most romantic of all crustacean traps), Emma sits with Killian who shares his rum and wisdom with her.

"Nah, that’s ok, I’ll just leave these here. They’re only a hundred bucks a piece.”
“Nah, that’s ok, I’ll just leave these here. They’re only a hundred bucks a piece.”

Emma thinks Killian is taking her aside to warn her about going after Gold, but he’s more worried about her relationship with her parents. Is she willing to lose them just to spite them? He suggests they may be ashamed and that they were just trying to protect her and make her proud.

Mary Margaret and David lead Maleficent through the woods towards where Dragon Lily has come to rest. Mal is overcome with how much Dragon Lily looks like her and tries to approach her. Mary Margaret, obviously driven by suicidal fervor the desperate need to make things right, also tries to approach Dragon Lily and gets clocked with a tail upside the head.

Does anyone else remember when Snow White was not this impulsively dumb?
Does anyone else remember when Snow White was not this impulsively dumb?

Whoa, Dragon Lily hit Mary Margaret so hard she got all blurry. Mary Margaret injures her head on a rock, which Emma, who shows up instinctively(?), heals with magic. They make up with both women recognizing they were wrong but for the right reasons. Emma says her parents are heroes, that she misses them, and forgives them. Killian and David share a smile.

”Women sure are silly.” “Aye, mate.”
”Women sure are silly.” “Aye, mate.”

Actually… That looks like something else.

But that’s none of my business. *sips tea*

Mal, who has gone after her daughter, watched Lily change from angry dragon into her human form. Though shaken, Lily is still too cool for school. Mal gives Lily the baby rattle and admits it’s too late and she isn’t who Lily was hoping for. Lily says she expected a scary dragon bitch with whom she could go blasting all their enemies with, but instead she got a real person who is open and wants a relationship and a future.

”Mom? Do you ever… you know… Feel not so fresh after devastating a small hamlet with your fiery hell breath?”
”Mom? Do you ever… you know… Feel not so fresh after devastating a small hamlet with your fiery hell breath?”

Mal says she doesn’t mind the darkness Lily has inside of her, and Lily agrees to stay for a week.

This episode is awesome because it uses the word “bitch” twice, and I am 8-years-old.

Crazypants Zelena taunts Regina with the child she’s going to have with Robin, but Regina counters with the final death knell of the Author writing Zelena out of the story completely. Finally Zelena looks a little worried. The Author assures Zelena that he can do this, and Zelena accuses Regina of being just like their mother, willing to give up a baby like it was no big deal.

Cora tells Regina she’ll never be happy, but she does know power. She says Regina ought to build a dynasty up against Snow White to keep her throne. But Regina sees past this reasoning to Cora’s true intentions: Grandma wants to off her own daughter to play puppeteer behind a child-sized throne. Regina holds up her party cup and smiles.

zd fill my cup
Stop. Wait a minute. Fill my cup, put some baby-blocker in it!

In order to prevent Cora from ever using potential children against her, Regina is ready to perform a magical hysterectomy on herself. Cora calls her bluff so Regina downs her drink saying love is weakness. Pretty sure Regina was doing shots of tequila for bravery beforehand. Cora says the only one standing in the way of Regina’s happiness is her own self.

Back in the Zelena-Regina-Ave Maria stand off in the cell, the Author awaits further instruction as his ink dries. Regina has a change of heart, stating that their worst enemy is not each other, but really themselves, which seems to resonate with Zelena in some way. Robin arrives then and Regina says she won’t stand in the way of her own happiness anymore. Zelena implies that Regina is gauging her happiness relative to the love a man gives her, but Regina assures her that while Robin is *part* of her life, the real Happy Ending is finding out how she fits into the world and what her part is in it.

That’s when that punk Author decides that if he’s got nothing to do here he ought to go where he can get what he wants.

When True Neutral is over it.
When True Neutral is over it.

The Author and Gold reunite at the pawn shop. Despite his weakened state, Gold magics up a books titled “Heroes and Villains,” and tells the Author to write, saying it’s time villains finally win.

It’s derivative, so I hate it. But it’s risky! So I like it!
It’s derivative, so I hate it. But it’s risky! So I like it!

Do you think there’s any chance that Regina and Zelena will ever stop clawing at each other’s faces Dynasty-style for good?

Can you even tell when Cora is lying anymore?

What do you think Gold has in store for the Author’s new book? 

 

All screen captures are property of ABC.

ABC. “Images, et.al.” May 3, 2015. Television. May 4, 2015.

 

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Spotlight on Sketch Royale

Hi ladies! I may have just found the most addicting and fun web series of 2013!

On January 31st, Machina Prime debuted Sketch Royale, a weekly project on YouTube in which “four teams tackle the same theme to produce four completely different sketches.” The results are often random, awkward, and hilarious, with subscribers unofficially choosing who they feel created the most entertaining video. To date, a variety of actors, comedians, and animators have come together to create videos on everything from Chinese New Year to Valentine’s Day. Sketch Royale has quickly become a YouTube favorite, with videos collecting over 50,000 views in the first month since the project launched. Be sure to check out their page frequently, as new sketches debut each Thursday!

Recently, GeekGirl World had the chance to interview Good Cops and Dr. Coolsex, two of the four contributors who helped launch this exciting project with the first video, titled The Super Bowl. Check out their awesome interviews below and click on the links for more information!

GOOD COPS

Good Cops created the first video seen on Sketch Royale.
Good Cops created the first video seen on Sketch Royale.

Your skit was about making the perfect Super Bowl commercial. Any favorite (or least favorite) television commercials from Super Bowl XLVII (47)?

Noel (Sledge): Well, I’m a dork who likes to get all emotional, and my family back in Australia are farmers, so I really liked the “God Made a Farmer” spot that Chrysler did.

Jacob (Nicky): Even though we were sort of poking fun at the ‘Doritos: Crash the Super Bowl’ contest with our sketch, I ended up laughing hysterically at that Doritos “Goat” spot. So random, yet so funny.

While this segment was animated, your body of work includes a lot of live-action entertainment as well. What are the pros and cons of each style? Do you prefer one over the other?

Noel (Sledge): Well first of all our animators, Chris and Dustin, do 90% of the work for these and because that is the case it enables the rest of us to work on other projects, so in that regard it’s easier because we can split up the workload. Also, you can make an animated character do anything, be anywhere and have anything happen to them which is freeing and also very fun. That said, because the Internet is such a high-speed, low budget medium, you don’t have time to put in the tiny details with an animated piece that you sometimes wish you could. Live action is almost entirely the opposite. You are fairly limited with what a character can do, where you can put him and what you can do to him, because all of this must exist in the real world, so the writing takes more time and more creativity. But you make up for that with details, you can have a character do something very specific and very unique to a situation and often is is that which makes the piece interesting or noteworthy.

Derek (Perkins): This was my first time doing voice over (Derek voiced the character of ‘The Director’). I’ve auditioned for a few but was never cast, so I was nervous that I wouldn’t have the right stuff. I’ve been working with Clayton (Good Cops Director) for almost 2 years now so I thought I’d been through it all. I was wrong. We spent 5 hours in a studio going through each line, over and over and over again. I drank about 2 gallons of water that day, my voice was sore by the second hour. For one line Clayton told me to pretend I was on death row and I was walking down the green mile. “Be at peace with it.” he said, “Let everything go, you’re walking to your death and you’re fine with it, and ACTION!”. So that was an interesting day.

Jacob (Nicky): One of the pros is just experimenting with our voices for different characters. I revealed my secret skill of doing a ‘heavy metal’ voice with about 3 different octaves happening at the same time. The guys were convinced I was possessed.

DR. COOLSEX

Dr. Coolsex proves to be a fan favorite, appearing in multiple Sketch Royale videos.
Dr. Coolsex, a Sketch Royale favorite, collaborates often.

Your video revolved around a fan-made commercial contest. Let’s just say there were some interesting winners. Have you ever won a contest you didn’t expect to win, or lost one that you thought you had “in the bag”? Tell us about it!
Alex: We competed in SyFy’s “Viral Video Showdown” against the comedy superstars P0ykpac. We did our best, but after the smoke cleared, we found ourselves without the five thousand dollar prize. It would have been disappointing if it weren’t so much fun. Plus, we got to fly out to LA on their dime, so that’s pretty neat. We may have lost the competition, but we’ll always have our Splash Mountain photo.

Viewers loved the fun clothes featured in your video, including a Robocop shirt, a 90s-Nickelodeon-inspired Jacket, and a Wile E. Coyote tie. Where did you find the wardrobe for this project?

Greg: Those clothes are a part of my personal wardrobe– minus the Wile E. Coyote tie, which Alex wears un-ironically to work. All three of us have growing collections of fun clothes that we wear to add some silliness to our already silly videos. Keep an eye out for our matching Adidas track suits in our President Rap music video!

Your body of work includes homages to 90s pop culture, including Nickelodeon’s Doug and Hey Arnold!, as well as Super Mario. How would you compare 90s shows and games to those of today? Do you favor one over the other?

Dustin: We love the 90s because we grew up in the 90s and it strikes a chord with our collective nostalgia. Whether the shows and games of the 90s are actually better than today doesn’t matter, what matters is that they make us feel young again. They remind us of the care free days of Stick Stickly, Gushers and Street Fighter 2. Everyone believes that things were better when they were kids because that’s the time when we had no worries or responsibilities. The 90s were the best because they shaped us into who we became. The 90s are ingrained in our DNA and it’s an instant point of connection to anyone that loved pop culture during that time. We love the 90s because the 90s are us.

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Legendary Fashion Designer Bob Mackie Talks About His Work On The Carol Burnett Show

Gags-and-Gowns-The-Genius-of-Bob-MackieBob Mackie is one of the most prolific American fashion designers. He has dressed such celebrities as Cher, Whitney Houston, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand and Elton John. He has also designed custom and exclusive Barbie dolls for the serious Barbie collectors. However, a large part of his work was showcased during his 11 year run as head costume designer on The Carol Burnett Show. Now, in the featurette “Gags and Gowns: The Genius of Bob Mackie” the 72 year old talks about some of his most outrageous and wackiest designs for arguably one of the greatest comediennes of all time, Carol Burnett.

The featurette is one of 13 to be included in the new box set from Time Life, The Carol Burnett Show: The Ultimate Collection. The box set is available for pre-order and will feature 20 hours of bonus material as well as 50 episodes, all showcasing the signature Bob Mackie style and fashion, and of course the great comedy of Ms. Carol Burnett!

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